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This is an archive of 115th Congressional Dumpster Fire Fark threads for the month of April, 2017
Click this link for the current month, or here for the rest of the archive.


Fark Threads on the President's Address to CongressEdit

Fark Threads on LegislationEdit

To stare into the abyss that is the previous months of this circus, please click here (Don't say you weren't warned)

GeneralEdit

  1. (4/21/2017) Just how little has this Congress achieved in its first 100 days? We do the math Template:Gopgov

Repeal of MedicareEdit

Overturning Obama-era RegulationsEdit

FCC privacy regulationsEdit

Repeal ESSAEdit

Every Student Succeeds Act

Ratify NATO confirmation for MontenegroEdit

Sell ISP information to advertisersEdit

Senate Joint Resolution 34

Competitive Health Insurance Reform Act of 2017 (H.R. 372)Edit

repeal McCarran-Ferguson special exemption from federal antitrust laws

Drug-testing unemployment applicantsEdit

Fair Pay and Safe Workplaces ActEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Nobody respects women's right to be paid less and have their sexual harassment covered up more than Donald Trump 

Repeal of ACAEdit

  1. Background
    1. (4/5/2017) Trump may not be popular, but you know what is? Obamacare. Obamacare is popular 
  2. Backlash
  3. Repeal
    1. (4/10/2017) You're not going to believe this, but when it comes to things like preexisting conditions, guarantee issue and medical underwriting, House Republican leadership is now supporting Obamacare. MA WE NEED THE FAINTING GOATS Template:Coopt
    2. (4/11/2017) Freedom Caucus chair says that a deal 'close' on ObamaCare repeal Template:Stigg
    3. (4/19/2017) The latest Congressional failure to repeal Obamacare may happen as early as next week 
  4. (4/25/2017) Trump slashing Obamacare subsidies would cost taxpayers billions Template:StiggTemplate:Subz
  5. Replacement
    1. (4/6/2017) You know who loves single-payer health care more than liberals? The alt-right does 
  6. "Repair"
    1. Rescinding coal miners health benefits

repeal Alaska National Wildlife Refuges RuleEdit

allows shooting bears and wolves from aircraft and killing cubs and pups in their dens, even during hibernation

  1. (4/9/2017) Having solved the rest of the nation's problems, Congress legalizes shooting hibernating bears Template:HuntTemplate:Stigg

TrumpCareEdit

World's Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017

GOP Vote on TrumpCare Leaning ...Edit

  1. General
  1. Still On the Fence
  2. No
    1. Rep. Rod Blum (R IA 1st)
    2. Rep. Ted Budd (R NC 13th)
    3. Rep. Leonard Lance (R NJ 7th)

TrumpCare FailureEdit

Zombie TrumpCareEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) Don'tCare 2.0 is DOA since lawmakers are still looking for a cheap butt cream to help with the smarting from last time 
  2. (4/14/2017) Obamacare Repeal is the "Zombie Bill" that's chasing the GOP, they can't kill it because that would outrage their base, but they can't agree enough to revive it. They'd shoot it in the brain, but none of them is quite sure what one of those is Template:Gopleg

Son of Zombie TrumpCare and Freedom CaucusEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Trump wants AHCA vote before the 100 day mark 
    1. (4/20/2017) The GOP's newest "healthcare" plan is out, and it does reflect some major changes - that make it even worse than the first one care{{}}Template:Goppol
  2. (4/21/2017) Words you don't want to describe your health care plan: "Comically bad" πŸ†
    1. (4/21/2017) GOP's health care proposal would raise the cost of pregnancy by $17,000, because why should cancer patients have all the fun? Template:Goppol
  3. (4/26/2017) Republican lawmakers fight to preserve Obamacare pre-existing condition protections...for themselves. You? Enjoy your complimentary Ziploc coffin the latest attempt to repeal the ACA contains a provision that exempts members of Congress and their staff from itπŸ‘Œ
  4. (4/26/2017) House GOP swears that an Obamacare repeal deal is "near". Whoa, hey guys, no need to be racist Template:Stigg
    1. (4/27/2017) New House Obamacare repeal bill is already flatlining on the Senate EKG unit Template:GoplegTemplate:Stigg
  5. (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support 

RANDPAUL ObamaCare Repeal billEdit

Monitor Russian SanctionsEdit




GOP Infrastructure PlanEdit

MAR-A-LAGO ActEdit

Make Access Records Available to Lead American Government Openness Act

Compel President to release his taxesEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) Senator booed for defending Trump's withholding of tax returns from public scrutiny. That's a bold move, Cotton Template:Townh

BudgetEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) Yertle will be stunned to learn voters don't want a government shutdown 

Continuing ResolutionEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Trump wants AHCA vote before the 100 day mark 
    1. (4/21/2017) Bipartisan talks to avoid unnecessary government shutdown were going fairly well until Trump came in with demands for at least one win in his first 100 days, farking everything up bigly Template:Petu
  2. (4/23/2017) Trump: Someday, at a later date, not today but in the future, possibly the near future but maybe a little further, we can't know for sure, Mexico will pay--possibly with money but perhaps something else like wampum or donkeys or mohair--for the wall Template:Weak
    1. (4/23/2017) Trump's Homeland Security director John Kelly admits he doesn't have a clue how to stop domestic terrorists β”
    2. (4/24/2017) Totally not racist, and most assuredly not speaking from his rectum Attorney Jefferson Davis Beauregard III says the wall can be paid for if the Treasury cracks down on improper EITC payments since they are going to "mostly Mexicans" 
    3. (4/24/2017) Trump budget chief: Don't worry about the millions of poors who will lose healthcare after the ACA is repealed, our glorious border wall will protect them. Wait, what? βš Template:Goat
    4. (4/25/2017) All and all, Trump won't insist on the wall 
      1. (4/25/2017) Trump who earlier told reporters that he might be willing to wait on The Wall now claims that any story about his willingness to wait on The Wall is FAKE NEWS πŸ’£
        1. (4/25/2017) Sean Spicer has completed his transformation into the new Baghdad Bob β”
    5. (4/25/2017) Fox News headline: "Why are Dems happy when Trump drops unpopular positions?" πŸ™‹
  3. (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support 

DeficitEdit

Tax CutsEdit

The HONEST ActEdit

Honest and Open New EPA Science Treatment Act

  • would prohibit the EPA from writing any regulation that uses science that is not publicly available

Net NeutralityEdit

Tax "Reform"Edit

College For All Act 2017Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) Sanders, Warren, Ellison and Jayapal show some spine by introducing the College For All Act in the House and the Senate. List of supportive Democratic politicians to the left, complaining about BernieBros and purity tests to the right College for All Act of 2017



Fark Threads on Congressional OversightEdit

Oversight GeneralEdit

  1. (4/27/2017) Democrats have a duty to investigate every single instance of Trump's scandals 

Trump Campaign contacts with RussiaEdit

To view all the Fark threads about Trump's connections to Russia, click here

No OversightEdit

FCC Oversight HearingEdit

on Net Neutrality

House Committee on Energy and CommerceEdit

hearing on TrumpCare

Reports from Congressional Budget OfficeEdit

cost of GOP healthcare misadventures

Federal student loansEdit

Subcommittee on Higher Education and Workforce Development

Senate Armed Services CommitteeEdit

House Oversight CommitteeEdit

Federal government’s use of facial recognitionEdit

Possible Flynn InvestigationEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) Flynnghazi isn't going away, libs Chaffetz: White House can?t prove Michael Flynn ?complied with the law?πŸͺ
  2. (4/25/2017) For some reason, the White House isn't cooperating with the Flynn investigation and is refusing to hand over requested documents πŸͺβšͺ
    1. (4/25/2017) This is why we need an independent counsel: Even on the rare occasions that a Congressional Republican actually tries to do his Job and investigate Trump's ties to Russia, the White House just tells them to pound sand "It is unclear how such documents would be relevant to the stated purpose of the committee's review, which according to your letter is to examine Lt. Gen. Flynn's disclosure of payments related to activities that occurred in 2015 and 2016, prior to his service in the White House," Legislative affairs director Marc Short's April 19 letter sent to House Oversight Committee leadersβšͺπŸͺ
  3. (4/25/2017) You may want to sit down for this. Michael Flynn's lobbying on behalf of Turkey is now linked to the Russians. Because, really, what hasn't this man done in the last 5 years that a Russian didn't know about or authorize? πŸͺTemplate:LobbyTemplate:Drip
  4. (4/27/2017) Jason Chaffetz taking medical leave from Congress to have a procedure done. It'll be nice for him to be able to finally have his head out of his ass "immediate" foot surgeryTemplate:Rat
  5. (4/27/2017) The Pentagon specifically warned Flynn not to become a Russian agent when he retired from the US military in 2014 the Defense Intelligence Agency warned Flynn to avoid accepting foreign payments upon retirement; Flynn is under a DoDIG investigationTemplate:Drip

Senate Intelligence CommitteeEdit

House Agriculture CommitteeEdit

hearing to discuss considering requiring SNAP beneficiaries to work

Release of President's Tax ReturnsEdit

Possible Violation(s) of Emoluments Clause by POTUS or POTUS StaffEdit

Obama's Last-minute Weapons Shipment to KenyaEdit

Rep. Nadler's "Resolution of Inquiry"Edit

demanding Attorney General hand over β€œany document, record, memo, correspondence or other communication” pertaining to β€œcriminal or counterintelligence investigations” related to Trump, White House staff or his business"

Obama Alleged Phone TappingEdit

House Intelligence CommitteeEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) And just like that, Trump's White House becomes a steel cage death match. First one to talk gets out of jail for free "some people” will β€œend up in jail"
  2. (4/5/2017) Democrats on the House Intelligence Committee will soon receive all pertinent documents regarding Russiagate 
  3. (4/6/2017) Devin Nunes to temporarily recuse himself from the Russia investigation for - according to him - no apparent reason whatsoever Template:Late
  4. (4/7/2017) The entire House Intelligence Committee was invited to attend a briefing from an FBI double agent to learn the techniques Russians use cultivate traitors. Only the democratic congressmen showed up, presumably because the GOP already knows first hand 

Senate Intelligence CommitteeEdit

Trump-Russia Independent CommissionEdit

to investigate allegations of potential coordination between the Trump campaign and the Russians

  1. (4/24/2017) A new poll shows that fully 73% of Americans want an independent investigation into the Trump campaign's ties with Russia because they do not trust Congress to handle it. Or, in Trumpmath: nobody cares about this issue at all 

Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and TransportationEdit

inquiry into the incident involving the dragging of passenger Dr. David Dao

  1. (4/21/2017) United Airlines reaccommodates Senate deadline to explain passenger dragging incident Template:Miss

House Armed Services CommitteeEdit

hearing on Asia-Pacific Security

  • April 26, 2017
  • testimony from Admiral Harry Harris, Commander, US Pacific Command
  1. (4/27/2017) The US decides that maybe installing an anti-missile system in South Korea might be a good idea Template:EscaTemplate:SkTemplate:Drum


Fark Threads on Trump cabinet confirmation hearingsEdit

GeneralEdit

Senate Rule 19Edit

NomineesEdit

Acosta for LaborEdit

Wilson for Secretary of the Air ForceEdit

Garrett for Chairman and President, Export-Import BankEdit

  1. former Rep. Scott Garrett (R NJ 5th)
    co-founded House Freedom Caucus, twice voted against reauthorizing the bank while in Congress
    1. (4/15/2017) Wednesday Trump: Export-Import Bank is bad for America. Thursday Trump: Export-Import Bank is good for America. Friday Trump: Let me nominate an Export-Import Bank hater to run the Export-Import Bank Template:Gopmp

Bachus for Board of Export-Import BankEdit

  1. former Rep. Spencer T. Bachus III (R AL 6th)
    former chairman (2011–2013), House Financial Services Committee
    1. (4/15/2017) Wednesday Trump: Export-Import Bank is bad for America. Thursday Trump: Export-Import Bank is good for America. Friday Trump: Let me nominate an Export-Import Bank hater to run the Export-Import Bank Template:Gopmp

Perdue for Secretary of AgricultureEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Donald Trump's Bible study group Ralph Drollinger, an evangelical Christian, conducts the "Capitol Ministries Cabinet Bible study"Template:Ch st

Brown for US Ambassador to New ZealandEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Trump to nominate former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown as ambassador to Middle-Earth Template:Nz

Ricketts for Deputy Commerce SecretaryEdit

Chicago Cubs board member

  1. (4/20/2017) Trump's deputy commerce secretary pick withdraws his name from consideration Template:Confl



Fark Threads on Federal Judiciary Confirmation HearingsEdit

GeneralEdit

Gorsuch for Supreme Court JusticeEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) It's do or die for both sides as the Gorsuch nomination comes up for a full debate. Will the Democrats unleash the filibuster now, or will they wait? Will Yertle demand the nuclear option? It's your Official Gorsuch Confirmation Discussion Thread Live threadTemplate:Conf
  2. (4/5/2017) If Democrats force Republicans to blow up the filibuster on SCOTUS nominees, what nefarious deed will they force the Republicans to do next? Destroy the filibuster on legislation? Those monsters πŸ™…
  3. (4/5/2017) Gorsuch may not be the astute scholar people think he is. Why it's almost like he can pull thoughts out of time and space and from many different people. In other news, the WH is in denial. Not necessarily about this, just on general principle Template:Plagia

VOTEEdit

  1. (4/6/2017) Gorsuch Filibustered. Expected to respond as soon as he can find a speech to plagiarize πŸ™…
    1. (4/6/2017) Nuclear turtle launch detected πŸ™…
  2. (4/7/2017) Gorsuch confirmed, leaving the filibuster dead and Democrats with nothing to show for it πŸ™…
  3. (4/10/2017) Mitch McConnell, the man who broke America πŸ™…Template:Part
  4. (4/10/2017) Neil Gorsuch will be sworn in today as the newest Supreme Court Justice despite the fact he was nominated by a president spending his last year in office. Will things go off without a hitch? It's your Official Scalia Replacement Discussion Thread Live thread

FillibusterEdit

  1. (4/6/2017) Why having lost the filibuster may not be such a big deal πŸ™…
  2. (4/10/2017) There will never be a mainstream Supreme Court Justice again Template:Turtle
  3. (4/10/2017) Mitch McConnell, the man who broke America πŸ™…Template:Part
  4. (4/10/2017) Senate Democrats reveal plan to pull an Atlanta Falcons with SCOTUS filibuster rules when back in power πŸ™…Template:Turtle

The McConnell RuleEdit

lower expectations to where your party already is

  1. (4/10/2017) The Senate's new rules on filibustering mean that, theoretically, a bill or nomination can pass the Senate with the support of Senators representing 16.2% of the nation's population πŸ™…Template:TurtleTemplate:ConsqTemplate:Stigg


Fark threads on Trump AmbassadorshipsEdit

Palin for Ambassador to CanadaEdit

soorry, eh

Ambassador to RussiaEdit

UN Ambassador for Food and AgricultureEdit

Fark Threads on CongresscrittersEdit

GeneralEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) There is bipartisan fear of the Nuclear Option and subsequent fallout over Gorsuch 
  2. (4/10/2017) Republicans, Democrats working together to avoid a government shutdown, as neither side wants to see what that sort of brinkmanship would do to Trump Template:Bip
  3. (4/10/2017) Republican voter's support is really starting to slip for congressional GOP types ...almost starting to look like the Democratic base 

CaucusesEdit

Congressional Black CaucusEdit

House Freedom CaucusEdit

  1. (4/2/2017) And here are a couple more salvos in the Trump vs. Freedom Caucus civil war 
  2. (4/4/2017) Pence may win over Freedom Caucus members by allowing states to get Obamacare waivers Template:Qpq
  3. (4/20/2017) The GOP's newest "healthcare" plan is out, and it does reflect some major changes - that make it even worse than the first one care{{}}Template:Goppol
  4. (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support 

Rep.Β Mark Meadows (R NC 11th)Edit

  1. (4/11/2017) Freedom Caucus chair says that a deal 'close' on ObamaCare repeal Template:Stigg

Republican CaucusEdit

  1. (4/23/2017) Trump: People in real estate work hard, and so should be given massive tax cuts. Especially if their last name rhymes with "Frump" Template:ConflπŸ“Ž
  2. (4/26/2017) Republican lawmakers fight to preserve Obamacare pre-existing condition protections...for themselves. You? Enjoy your complimentary Ziploc coffin the latest attempt to repeal the ACA contains a provision that exempts members of Congress and their staff from itπŸ‘Œ

Democratic CaucusEdit

  1. (4/9/2017) Democrats on the filibuster: "McConnell would have killed it for the next nominee, so why not now?" πŸ™…
  2. (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support 

Tuesday GroupEdit

informal caucus of about 50 moderate Republican representatives

Rep. Tom MacArthur (R NJ 3rd)Edit

co-chair of the "Tuesday Group"

  1. (4/26/2017) House GOP swears that an Obamacare repeal deal is "near". Whoa, hey guys, no need to be racist Template:Stigg


MeetingsEdit

Members informally discuss the President's proposed budgetEdit

Private Meetings on banking issuesEdit

  1. (4/6/2017) Trump's top economic adviser tells Congress that the administration wants to force banks to split their consumer banking and investment banking operations into separate entities. Great idea, wonder why no one has ever thought of it before? Template:Glass

Full Senate to Meet at White House to Discuss North KoreaEdit

technically a Senate briefing called by Majority Leader McConnell

  1. (4/24/2017) Entire senate called to White House for briefing on NOKO, oh no technically a Senate briefing called by Majority Leader, McConnellTemplate:TripTemplate:Brief
    1. (4/25/2017) Senators: Yeah, Donnie, we're not gonna be part of some photo-op to make it seem like you actually accomplished something in your first 100 days the auditorium in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building was converted into a temporary SCIF (sensitive compartmented information facility) for full Senate briefing on North Korea, 4/24/2017

Congressional StaffEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) Congress needs the Rooney Rule as much as subby needs a crowbar to the base of his skull "Rooney Rule" is a policy that requires NFL teams to interview minority candidates for head coaching and senior operation jobs; named for Dan Rooney, former owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, former chairman of the NFL's diversity committeeTemplate:Dvsty

Special ElectionEdit

MontanaEdit

  • At-large Congressional District
    to fill seat of Ryan Zinke, who is now Secretary of the Interior
  • Greg Gianforte (R)
  • Rob Quist (D)

GeorgiaEdit

  • 6th Congressional District
    to fill seat of Tom Price who is now Secretary of Health and Human Services
  • 5 dems (including Joel Ossoff)
  • 11 GOP
  1. (4/9/2017) Democrats are ecstatic about Joel Ossoff's "Make Trump Furious" campaign that may propel him into a House seat and spell the beginning of the Democratic revival. Local Republicans, meanwhile, view him as the second coming of William T. Sherman 
    1. (4/11/2017) Get ready for four long years of "if Democrats can just win this municipal water management seat in Tennessee, it's the beginning of the end for Trump" articles elec{{}}
  2. (4/17/2017) Remember when the media was saying Clinton might win Georgia? They haven't learned 
  3. (4/17/2017) Samuel L Jackson encourages Georgians to stop Donald Trump with great vengeance and furious anger[sic
  4. {{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9556936|This is why you can't have nice things, Democrats||
  5. (4/18/2017) Will Ossoff be on? Will Republicans get a peach of a Georgia rebuke? Will Trump face another humiliating defeat? Will media totally blow the call on this one too? It's your Official Georgia Special Election Discussion Thread Live thread
  6. (4/18/2017) β™«The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for souls to steal, but he changed his mind, and swiped voting machines because THIS IS NOT NORMAL IN A DEMOCRACY 4 "ExpressPoll" computers meant for the Piedmont Rd precinct and used by poll workers (not voters) were stolen from a Cobb County election official's car; theft was reported 2 days laterTemplate:Elect
  7. (4/18/2017) That Democrat who is supposed to win in Georgia today and send a powerful message to Trump that America will not tolerate this corruption? Yeah, he can't even vote for himself because he doesn't live in the district he's running in 
  8. (4/19/2017) Democrats lose another election 
    1. (4/19/2017) Democrats' Georgia blunder: 'Resist Trump' is not a winning strategy β”
    2. (4/19/2017) For the good of the country, hopefully never β”
    3. (4/19/2017) "Democrats' new challenge in Georgia: Sustaining the momentum" of yet another DLC boor with impossible-to-nail-down policy superpositions 
    4. (4/18/2017) Sadly, the answer to a question in a headline is always "no" 
    5. (4/21/2017) New poster boy for the Democrats couldn't even find the time to vote in the 2012 presidential election because he was studying broads over in Europe Template:Taf❔
  9. (4/21/2017) Georgia is trying to prevent newly registered voters from taking part in the 6th Congressional District runoff election because fark you Lawyers? Committee for Civil Rights Under Law arguing that the state is violating the National Voter Registration Act; Georgia contends runoff is a continuation of the special election this week don?t have to allow newly registered voters to participateTemplate:VoterTemplate:Votes

Republican Karen HandelEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Here are 6 things you should know about Republican Karen Handel ahead of the Georgia runoff election 

KansasEdit

  • 4th Congressional District
    to fill seat of Mike Pompeo who is now Director of the CIA
  • Kansas state GOP Treasurer Ron Estes (R)
  • Democrat James Thompson (D)
  • Chris Rockhold (L)
  1. (4/11/2017) Republicans worried about losing congressional seat in Kansas due to public displeasure with Brownback's inability to math and have enlisted the 2nd least popular politician in the country to help πŸ”₯
    1. (4/12/2017) DNC: Fark Kansas πŸ”₯
    2. (4/12/2017) Tuesday: ZOMG Dems gonna take this special election in Kansas and prove Trump is hated by all and Congress will turn red states blue in 2018. It's soooo close. Wednesday: Crickets after Democrat is crushed by nearly double digits πŸ˜‚πŸ”₯
  2. (4/17/2017) Trump thinks a 7-point win for a GOP candidate in a Kansas district he carried by 30 points 6 months ago is somehow a big win for him that the evil media is downplaying to deny him his due credit πŸ“°
  3. (4/19/2017) For the good of the country, hopefully never β”


Obedient GOPEdit

Senator RANDPAUL (R KY)Edit

  1. (4/3/2017) Rand Paul (R-KY) wore a Duke hat while going golfing with Trump. Duke Sucks Template:Golf

Rep. Paul Ryan (R WI 4th)Edit

Speaker of the House

  1. (4/4/2017) Ryan decides that forging ahead with Trumpcare 2.0: Die Faster and More Broker might not such a great idea, considering he's still sitting on an inflatable donut after the last ass-kicking he took on healthcare Template:Legis
  2. (4/6/2017) Paul Ryan says "tax reform is tougher than health care," no doubt preparing his fellow Republicans for another humiliating defeat πŸ“Ž
  3. (4/9/2017) Dear Congress, Vital national security beautiful babies Syria bombing campaign national interests vital. Chief boss me says so, vital best words chemical weapons bombing raid necessary national interest. Vital. Love, Donald Template:ShayratTemplate:WarpowπŸ†
  4. (4/9/2017) Democrats are winning the war against the Wall 
  5. (4/18/2017) Feds have McConnell and Ryan dead to rights on complicity in Trump/Putin Affair. A bunch o Traitors I tell ya Template:Wish❔
  6. (4/20/2017) Gee, Paul, what are we going to do today? The same thing we do every day Mitch: TRY TO REPEAL OBAMACARE Template:Gopgov
  7. (4/26/2017) Trump's plan for tax reform may kill the idea before it even gets started. *high five* πŸ“Ž
    1. (4/26/2017) Behold: The Trump Tax Plan in its entirety πŸ“ŽTemplate:Illit
      1. (4/26/2017) Wall Street makes a collective wanking motion after Trump announces his tax plan, "This was about ticking a box ahead of the first 100 days" πŸ“Ž
  8. (4/26/2017) House GOP swears that an Obamacare repeal deal is "near". Whoa, hey guys, no need to be racist Template:Stigg

Senator Mitch McConnell (R KY)Edit

Senate Majority Leader

  1. (4/2/2017) McConnell: There will be a government shutdown next month 
  2. (4/3/2017) Prepare your bunker, nuclear turtle inbound πŸ™…
  3. (4/6/2017) Yertle believes his shell will protect him from fallout Template:ConsqπŸ™…
  4. (4/6/2017) I speak in 15 hour blocks, that's how I roll. #WINNING I have one fear: Trump #EPICWINNING "Are you bi-polar?" I'm bicameral. WIN here WIN there everywhere WIN WIN Template:2018πŸ™…
  5. (4/6/2017) Nuclear turtle launch detected πŸ™…
  6. (4/9/2017) Democrats on the filibuster: "McConnell would have killed it for the next nominee, so why not now?" πŸ™…
  7. (4/10/2017) Mitch McConnell, the man who broke America πŸ™…Template:Part
  8. (4/15/2017) Mitch McConnell says "hopefully" tax reform will pass this year. After that, Congress can "hopefully" get back to work on the failed border wall, health care, travel ban, beating ISIS, the infrastructure, jobs πŸ“Ž
  9. (4/18/2017) Feds have McConnell and Ryan dead to rights on complicity in Trump/Putin Affair. A bunch o Traitors I tell ya Template:Wish❔
  10. (4/20/2017) Gee, Paul, what are we going to do today? The same thing we do every day Mitch: TRY TO REPEAL OBAMACARE Template:Gopgov
  11. (4/24/2017) Entire senate called to White House for briefing on NOKO, oh no technically a Senate briefing called by Majority Leader, McConnellTemplate:TripTemplate:Brief
    1. (4/25/2017) Senators: Yeah, Donnie, we're not gonna be part of some photo-op to make it seem like you actually accomplished something in your first 100 days the auditorium in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building was converted into a temporary SCIF (sensitive compartmented information facility) for full Senate briefing on North Korea, 4/24/2017
  12. (4/26/2017) On the shutdown negotiations, McConnell sternly warns Democrats once again. that they had better not try to pull the EXACT same stunts he did for the last 8 years Template:StiggTemplate:Gopgov

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R UT 3rd)Edit

chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform

  1. (4/19/2017) Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz will not seek re-election in order to spend more time at home not looking his daughters in the eye Template:Retire
    1. (4/20/2017) After announcing that he will not run for re-election Jason Chaffetz says he may just duck out early to beat the traffic "My future plans are not yet finalized, but I haven't ruled out the possibility of leaving early"; there is also talk of him running for Senate or governorTemplate:Retire
    2. (4/21/2017) Jason Chaffetz would be better off if it was a dead girl or live boy, if these allegations prove to be true Template:WishTemplate:Retire
      1. (4/21/2017) Jason Chaffetz denies there is any forthcoming scandal. Also says he's not a crook, claims he did not have sex with that woman and asks at this point what difference does it make "I?ve been given more enemas by more people over the last eight years than you can possibly imagine"Template:Retire
  2. (4/22/2017) Jason Chaffetz was given 564,615,000 rubles in sketchy campaign contributions immediately after publishing the Comey letter in what totally wasn't a quid pro quo transaction Template:WishπŸͺTemplate:Qpq

Senator Marco Rubio (R FL)Edit

Rep. Darrell Issa (R CA 49th)Edit

Rep. Devin Nunes (R CA 22nd)Edit

chair, House Intelligence Committee ... for now

  1. (4/1/2017) Oh My 2018 George Takei is going to challenge Devin NunesπŸƒ
  2. (4/3/2017) John Oliver savages Devin Nunes, "the most 'Devin' Devin in the history of Devins," finishing with how "Stupid Watergate could take down the government. But nobody involved understands why - or how to cover it up - or what the government f*cking is" Template:Tool
  3. (4/3/2017) 3 Things to learn about Devin Nunes: 1. It's pronounced New-nes 2. He sucks at lying 3. OMG look at that high school photo πŸŒ…Template:Tool
  4. (4/6/2017) Devin Nunes to temporarily recuse himself from the Russia investigation for - according to him - no apparent reason whatsoever Template:ToolTemplate:Late
  5. (4/12/2017) Both Democrats and Republicans agree: Devin Nunes is full of so much crap, they actually can get along long enough to say so Template:ToolTemplate:BipTemplate:Oc4.1
  6. (4/19/2017) Devin Nunes says he was pressured to manufacture a scandal by the White House Template:Tool
    1. (4/19/2017) White House looked for *any* evidence they could spin to support Trump's "wiretapping" tweets, and the best they came with was that? OBVIOUS tag seen bailing out of an Uber, screaming, "I'm out" β”

Rep. Trey Gowdy (R SC 4th)Edit

Senator Lindsey Graham (R SC)Edit

  1. (4/3/2017) Sen. Lindsey Graham: If democrats filibuster Gorsuch, that'll be the end of bipartisanship on judges. What? I'm being serious. Stop laughing πŸ™…

Rep. Justin Amash (R MI 3rd)Edit

    1. (4/2/2017) And here are a couple more salvos in the Trump vs. Freedom Caucus civil war 

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D, MA)Edit

  1. (4/5/2017) The gender pay gap is definitely real, at least if you work for Senator Warren 

Rep. Mike Conaway (R TX 11th)Edit

  1. (4/6/2017) Texas congressman compares Russian hacking to Mexican singers campaigning for Clinton β‰ 
  2. (4/20/2017) Donald Trump's Bible study group Ralph Drollinger, an evangelical Christian, conducts the "Capitol Ministries Cabinet Bible study"Template:Ch st

Senator Orrin Hatch (R UT)Edit

  1. (4/9/2017) Dear Congress, Vital national security beautiful babies Syria bombing campaign national interests vital. Chief boss me says so, vital best words chemical weapons bombing raid necessary national interest. Vital. Love, Donald Template:ShayratTemplate:WarpowπŸ†

Rep. Don Young (R AK 1st)Edit

  1. (4/9/2017) Having solved the rest of the nation's problems, Congress legalizes shooting hibernating bears Template:HuntTemplate:Stigg

Rep. Tom McClintock (R CA 4)Edit

  1. (4/11/2017) Tom McClintock (R-Lalalala I Can't Hear You) holds a town hall that goes off the rails rather swiftly Loomis, California, April, 8, 2017Template:Townh

Rep. Joe Wilson (R SC 2nd)Edit

  1. (4/11/2017) Joe Wilson learns what it feels like when the shoe is on the other foot Template:Townh

Rep. Markwayne Mullin (R OK 2nd)Edit

  1. (4/12/2017) "This is a service, no one pays me to be here," claims U.S. Congressman about meeting with his constituents Template:TownhπŸ‘‘
    1. (4/12/2017) GOP REP from OK says he cancelled his town hall meeting due to "safety concerns". According to the owners of the venue, what he was afraid of was attendees being allowed to carry highly dangerous sheet of red and green paper to express opinions Template:Townh

Rep.Β Mark Meadows (R NC 11th)Edit

  1. (4/11/2017) Freedom Caucus chair says that a deal 'close' on ObamaCare repeal Template:Stigg

Senator Ted Cruz (R TX)Edit

  1. (4/11/2017) Republicans worried about losing congressional seat in Kansas due to public displeasure with Brownback's inability to math and have enlisted the 2nd least popular politician in the country to help 
  2. (4/19/2017) Ted Cruz: "the radical left might shut down the government with a whiny temper tantrum and that's a bad thing" β”
  3. (4/19/2017) New Poll show that Ted Cruz is being beaten in the TX senate race...by Castro 
  4. (4/26/2017) Ted Cruz wants the US to use the $14 billion seized from El Chapo to pay for Trump's wall. That's... that might actually work 

Senator Luther Strange (R AL)Edit

former Attorney General for Alabama during DMV closure scandal

  1. (4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah MasonTemplate:VoterπŸ‘™Template:Qpq

Rep. Duncan Hunter (R CA 50)Edit

  1. (4/13/2017) Since we can't afford to buy politicians internet browsing history, let's see what Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-uberjaeger) is up to the apparent online handle he uses on several sites is "uberjaeger"

Rep. Steve King (R IA 4th)Edit

  1. (4/14/2017) Steve King (R- IA): The media owes me an apology. Media: Sorry you're offended πŸ“°
  2. (4/17/2017) Democratic Party's best challenger to conservative lightning rod, Rep Steve King of Iowa, is a former psychic who called herself 'the Spirit Weaver' πŸ‘Ÿ
  3. (4/17/2017) Iowa communities who support the white nationalist policies of Steve King are vanishing at an alarming rate as the small towns skew old and the younger generation is fleeing en masse to more liberal areas like Des Moines and not Iowa Template:Old

Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner (R WI 5th)Edit

  1. (4/14/2017) "No one has to use the internet," said one Congressman who's okay with everyone seeing what kind of porn he watches 

Senator Jeff Flake (R AZ)Edit

  1. (4/14/2017) Arizona Senator Jeff Flake holds a town hall and angrily lays out a "code of conduct" for attendees. Things quickly went downhill from there, with Flake defending Trump and a voter sighing, "Can you please take your job more seriously?" Template:TownhπŸ‘‘

Senator Tom Cotton (R AR)Edit

  1. (4/18/2017) Senator booed for defending Trump's withholding of tax returns from public scrutiny. That's a bold move, Cotton Template:Townh
  2. (4/18/2017) GOP Lawmakers to FCC Chair: Look, kid, we love your ideas and like your moxie, but you're gonna have to make it a LITTLE less obvious, the FCC is now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Telcos, a little lube goes a long way, we're just sayin' requested a ?reasonable transition period? to "enable service providers to adapt and remain viable in more markets than will occur in the event of a flash cut to new policies"Template:Gopreg
  3. (4/21/2017) Guess the source: "News channels are always counting down to something. I can't quite agree ... about what's considered a clock-worthy 'event'... That makes it harder for us to think about what's going on in the world." Wait, Sen Tom Cotton? Template:Apol

Rep. Ron Estes (R KS 4th)Edit

  1. (4/17/2017) Trump thinks a 7-point win for a GOP candidate in a Kansas district he carried by 30 points 6 months ago is somehow a big win for him that the evil media is downplaying to deny him his due credit πŸ“°

Senator Joni Earnst (R IA)Edit

  1. (4/19/2017) Joni Ernst castrates another pig Template:TownhTemplate:Apol

Rep. Tom MacArthur (R NJ 3rd)Edit

former insurance executive

  1. (4/19/2017) The latest Congressional failure to repeal Obamacare may happen as early as next week 
  2. (4/20/2017) The GOP's newest "healthcare" plan is out, and it does reflect some major changes - that make it even worse than the first one care{{}}Template:Goppol
  3. (4/26/2017) House GOP swears that an Obamacare repeal deal is "near". Whoa, hey guys, no need to be racist Template:Stigg

Rep. Michael McCaul (R TX 10th)Edit

chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee

  1. (4/18/2017) With all this sudden "chatter" about Russia possessing kompromat on both Senator Fratbro and Senator Wax Bean, let's all take a stroll down memory lane and reflect on how that might have happened. Or didn't happen. Yeah, that's the ticket initially told CNN's Wolf Blitzer that RNC was hacked, then changed it to "Republican political operatives" were hackedTemplate:Shell

Senator Susan Collins (R ME)Edit

  1. (4/19/2017) It's almost as if Trump has put racist authoritarians in charge of law enforcement and given them carte blanche to do whatever. But, who among us could have guessed that might happen? deportation of Juan Manuel Montes Bojorquez, who believes he was ptotected by Deferred Action for Childhood ArrivalsTemplate:Deport

Rep. Doug LaMalfa (R CA 1st)Edit

  1. (4/18/2017) Doug LaMalfa's (R) response to boos at his town hall meeting:"Do you yell at church?" Audience members:"Do you lie at church?" Template:Townh

Senator John Boozman (R AR)Edit

  1. (4/18/2017) GOP Lawmakers to FCC Chair: Look, kid, we love your ideas and like your moxie, but you're gonna have to make it a LITTLE less obvious, the FCC is now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Telcos, a little lube goes a long way, we're just sayin' requested a ?reasonable transition period? to "enable service providers to adapt and remain viable in more markets than will occur in the event of a flash cut to new policies"Template:Gopreg

Rep. French Hill (R AR 2nd)Edit

  1. (4/18/2017) GOP Lawmakers to FCC Chair: Look, kid, we love your ideas and like your moxie, but you're gonna have to make it a LITTLE less obvious, the FCC is now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Telcos, a little lube goes a long way, we're just sayin' requested a ?reasonable transition period? to "enable service providers to adapt and remain viable in more markets than will occur in the event of a flash cut to new policies"Template:Gopreg

Rep. Raul Labrador (R ID 1st)Edit

  1. (4/20/2017) Rep Raul Labrador (R-etriever) booed at town hall meeting when he defend's Trump's mockery of a disabled reporter by pointing out that time Obama...Obama....wait, he had something for this townh{{}}β‰ 

Senator Mike Enzi (R WY)Edit

  1. (4/26/2017) Senator Mike Enzi says men who walk into bars wearing tutus "are asking for it" during a visit to Greybull High School and Middle School, Greybull, WyomingπŸ’₯

former Rep. Steve Stockman (R TX 36th)Edit

  1. (4/6/2017) Fake news and fake outrage fueled by real money encounter a very real indictment Template:Indct


WTF?Edit

WTF!?

Senator Bernie Sanders (I VT)Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) So I just skimmed this article but I'm pretty sure it says that Bernie Sanders is a Furry 
  2. (4/5/2017) Democratic outreach: it's "The Bernie Show" starring everybody's favorite cantankerous non-Democratic Senator, Bernie Sanders Template:Show
  3. (4/20/2017) A nation asks: "What the hell is going on with Bernie Sanders?" 

Rep. Elijah Cummings (D MD 7th)Edit

  1. (4/6/2017) Trump to reporter: Democratic congressman told me I was going to go down as one of America's greatest Presidents. Congressman: No, you numskull, I said you could be a great President if you represented all Americans instead of being a divisive troll 

Senator RONPAUL (R KY)Edit

  1. (4/6/2017) Ron Paul: 'Zero chance' Assad is behind the 'false flag' chemical attack in Syria. Now buy some overpriced gold from me βš›Template:Kskhn

Senator John McCain (R AZ)Edit

  1. (4/2/2017) Kim Fatty the Turd has declared war on US πŸ’£

Senator Edward Markey (D MA)Edit

  1. (4/10/2017) Senate Democrats reveal plan to pull an Atlanta Falcons with SCOTUS filibuster rules when back in power πŸ™…Template:Turtle

Rep. Adam Schiff (D CA 28th)Edit

  1. (4/12/2017) Schiff: Recuse myself? In your moment of failure? I think you overestimate your chances β‰ 

Senator Mitch McConnell (R KY)Edit

Senate Majority Leader

  1. (4/17/2017) Elizabeth Warren says Mitch McConnell brushes her off when she says hello. "I've spoken to him, but he has not spoken to me," Warren told the newspaper. "I say hello to Mitch every chance I get, and he turns his head" πŸ‘‘

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D, MA)Edit

  1. (4/17/2017) Elizabeth Warren says Mitch McConnell brushes her off when she says hello. "I've spoken to him, but he has not spoken to me," Warren told the newspaper. "I say hello to Mitch every chance I get, and he turns his head" πŸ‘‘
  2. (4/20/2017) Caribou Barbie with real life foot in mouth action attacks Elizabeth Warren claiming that "Fight Like a Girl" is her catch phrase Template:AwTemplate:Coopt

Rep. Keith Ellison (D MN 5th)Edit

  1. (4/21/2017) Worried that Trump, Sessions, and Spicer are getting too much attention for their stupidity, Keith Ellison steps up for the Democrats "Barack Obama could have been a better party leader, and I think the fact that he wasn?t put his legacy in jeopardy"❔

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D CA 12th)Edit

House minority leader

  1. (4/25/2017) Illegal border crossings are down 90% since Trump took office. It would be better but no one is even trying to prevent those 10% from fleeing to Canada 

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R UT 3rd)Edit

  1. (4/27/2017) Jason Chaffetz taking medical leave from Congress to have a procedure done. It'll be nice for him to be able to finally have his head out of his ass "immediate" foot surgeryTemplate:Rat

Rep. Brad Sherman (D CA 30th)Edit

  1. (4/27/2017) Republican announces that Best Korea plans to kill us all with NUCLEAR WEED. Killer bud, dude Template:DrugwTemplate:Nukew


On The FenceEdit

these Congresscritters aren't sure yet how their decisions will play politically, so they're not committing to anything publicly

Rep. Mark Sanford (R SC 1st)Edit

  1. (4/19/2017) Mark Sanford loves town halls and has such enthusiasm for them, despite the fact that they end in humiliating chaos, that it's clear he's a masochist πŸŒ…Template:Townh

Several Senate RepublicansEdit

  1. (4/27/2017) New House Obamacare repeal bill is already flatlining on the Senate EKG unit Template:GoplegTemplate:Stigg


Everyone ElseEdit

Rep. Keith Ellison (D MN 5th)Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) Sanders, Warren, Ellison and Jayapal show some spine by introducing the College For All Act in the House and the Senate. List of supportive Democratic politicians to the left, complaining about BernieBros and purity tests to the right College for All Act of 2017

Senator Tom CarperΒ (D DE)Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) "See kids? This is what people a hundred years ago in 2017 were like. You know...morons" 

Senator Claire McCaskill (D MO)Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) "See kids? This is what people a hundred years ago in 2017 were like. You know...morons" 
  2. (4/17/2017) Claire McCaskill sets out to prove the GOP doesn't have a lock on embarrassing town halls Template:Townh

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D MA)Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) Sanders, Warren, Ellison and Jayapal show some spine by introducing the College For All Act in the House and the Senate. List of supportive Democratic politicians to the left, complaining about BernieBros and purity tests to the right College for All Act of 2017
  2. (4/23/2017) Even after the 2016 Democrat losses, Elizabeth Warren still doesn't get voters πŸ˜ˆ

Senator Bernie Sanders (I VT)Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) Sanders, Warren, Ellison and Jayapal show some spine by introducing the College For All Act in the House and the Senate. List of supportive Democratic politicians to the left, complaining about BernieBros and purity tests to the right College for All Act of 2017
  2. (4/9/2017) Bernie Sanders demands Trump come to Congress over Syria Template:Warpow
  3. (4/11/2017) According to a new poll, clocking in with a 75% approval Rating, the Most popular Senator in the US is: That guy the Dems didn't DARE let get the nomination since he had NO CHANCE of being president 
  4. (4/12/2017) Democrats cave in to Bernie Sanders's populist agenda Template:2018s
  5. (4/23/2017) Saying Ann Coulter shouldn't be allowed to speak is "a sign of intellectual weakness," says intellectually weak Bernie Sanders Template:1st

Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D WA 7th)Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) Sanders, Warren, Ellison and Jayapal show some spine by introducing the College For All Act in the House and the Senate. List of supportive Democratic politicians to the left, complaining about BernieBros and purity tests to the right College for All Act of 2017

Rep. JoaquΓ­n Castro (D TX 20th)Edit

  1. (4/5/2017) And just like that, Trump's White House becomes a steel cage death match. First one to talk gets out of jail for free "some people” will β€œend up in jail"
  2. (4/19/2017) New Poll show that Ted Cruz is being beaten in the TX senate race...by Castro 

Rep. Mike Coffman (R CO 6th)Edit

  1. (4/5/2017) Congressman explains why he voted against allowing internet companies to gather and sell your personal data without your explicit permission...and yet was only one of the few who did 

Senator John McCain (R AZ)Edit

  1. (4/5/2017) John McCain: Supporters Of The Nuclear Option Are 'Stupid Idiots'. Says he would like to meet the numskull who thinks it's a good idea, perhaps because of old age forgetting he sees them every day in the Senate πŸ™…

Rep. Adam Schiff (D CA 28th)Edit

  1. (4/5/2017) Democrats on the House Intelligence Committee will soon receive all pertinent documents regarding Russiagate 
  2. (4/6/2017) Adam Schiff calls Bullshiat Spice on his blustery bluff on Susan Rice, says "Let's do it" and have a full investigation Template:Oc4.0Template:Bluff

Senator Marco Rubio (R FL)Edit

  1. (4/5/2017) Little Marco finds his spine once more and blames Secretary of State Tillerson's comments suggesting that Assad could remain in power for the devastating chemical attack by his regime βš›πŸ‘‰

Rep. Joseph Crowley (D NY 14th)Edit

chair, House Democratic Caucus

  1. (4/9/2017) Democrats are winning the war against the Wall 

Rep. Will Hurd (R TX 23rd)Edit

  1. (4/9/2017) Democrats are winning the war against the Wall 

Rep. Martha McSally (R AZ 2nd)Edit

  1. (4/9/2017) Democrats are winning the war against the Wall 

Senator Angus King (I ME)Edit

  1. (4/10/2017) CNN anchor asks senator if he understands Trump's Syria policy. His response? "No. Do you?" πŸ˜›

Rep. Patrick McHenry (R NC 10)Edit

chief deputy whip, GOP Caucus

  1. (4/10/2017) You're not going to believe this, but when it comes to things like preexisting conditions, guarantee issue and medical underwriting, House Republican leadership is now supporting Obamacare. MA WE NEED THE FAINTING GOATS Template:Coopt

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D CA 12th)Edit

House Minority Leader

  1. (4/12/2017) Democrats cave in to Bernie Sanders's populist agenda Template:2018s
  2. (4/23/2017) Trump: Someday, at a later date, not today but in the future, possibly the near future but maybe a little further, we can't know for sure, Mexico will pay--possibly with money but perhaps something else like wampum or donkeys or mohair--for the wall Template:Weak

Senator Chuck Schumer (D NY)Edit

Senate minority leader

  1. (4/12/2017) Democrats cave in to Bernie Sanders's populist agenda Template:2018s

Senator John Thune (R SD)Edit

  1. (4/21/2017) United Airlines reaccommodates Senate deadline to explain passenger dragging incident Template:Miss

Senator Bill Nelson (D FL)Edit

  1. (4/21/2017) United Airlines reaccommodates Senate deadline to explain passenger dragging incident Template:Miss

Senator Mazie Hirono (D HI)Edit

  1. (4/21/2017) Hawaii lawmakers would like to remind AG Sessions that they're part of the United States 

Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D HI 2)Edit

  1. (4/21/2017) Hawaii lawmakers would like to remind AG Sessions that they're part of the United States 

Senator Brian Schatz (D HI)Edit

  1. (4/21/2017) Hawaii lawmakers would like to remind AG Sessions that they're part of the United States 

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R UT 3rd)Edit

  1. (4/25/2017) Flynnghazi isn't going away, libs Chaffetz: White House can't prove Michael Flynn "complied with the law"πŸͺ

Rep. Elijah E. Cummings (D MD 7th)Edit

  1. (4/25/2017) Flynnghazi isn't going away, libs Chaffetz: White House can't prove Michael Flynn "complied with the law"πŸͺ

former Senator Harry Reid (D NV)Edit

  1. (4/18/2017) Brace yourself: Harry Reid did something useful for humanity. Granted, it took two decades for the law to be used. But still authored Federal Prohibition of Female Genital Mutilation Act of 1995 criminalizing female genital mutilation

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