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"The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we’re deaf, dumb and dangerous."
--Garrison Keillor, "We’re Not in Lake Wobegon Anymore"
  August 26, 2004[1]


General InformationEdit

  1. The Left is putting its eggs in the protest basket
  2. Trumpführer resistance needs a short, catchy name. Your Pee Party suggestions to the right
  3. You want to scare Trump? Be orderly, polite, and visibly patriotic
  4. Skateboarding might be a crime, but peaceful protesting is not a crime
  5. If you picked a song to describe Donald Trump's approval rating, it would probably be "I'll Tumble 4 Ya"
  6. Studies show that showing up and yelling at your congressperson is actually very helpful
  7. Twitter CEO claims US is having an 'Arab Spring' moment similar to color revolutions around the world. I'm not so sure about color, although I'll admit our government's gone to plaid
  8. The Democratic Tea Party; Now with correctly spelled signs, people who weigh less than 350lbs and supporters who have to take time off from actual jobs
  9. Hey white people, Jews, immigrants and Muslims: welcome to the America black people have been living in for the past 398 years. Have a seat, we'll get through this together
  10. Now that the shoe's on the other foot, some are getting worried. They haven't realized we all will be sending our shoes to Russia if we don't grow up
  11. Look, resisting is fun and all, but $1,500 a week is barely enough to keep me in pink pussy hats and a complete state of moral indignation. I need a raise. And some PTO dammit
  12. Majority of Americans support a special investigation into Russiaghazi and the recusal of Forrest Sessions

(3/23/2017) The Internet is not tearing the nation apart, you're just a jerk about politics 

  1. (4/4/2017) Republicans say protesters who block roads and disrupt transit deserve to go to jail. No word on protesters blocking ships or disrupting tea shipments Template:1stTemplate:Blm
  2. (4/27/2017) The revolution will be electoralized. A little late now, isn't it? Template:Protest
  3. (4/27/2017) Democrats have a duty to investigate every single instance of Trump's scandals 


Reality, HistoryEdit

  1. Director of Anne Frank Center responds to Trump administration's demand for praise after they finally acknowledged anti-Semitism maybe might be real: "What universe are these people living in?"
  2. (4/13/2017) That time in 1983 the US did a simulated nuclear war against Russia and almost ended the world simulation was called "Able Archer 83"; report declassified in 2015 about Able Archer 83": titled The Soviet "War Scare"; compiled by President’s Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board, dated February 15, 1990💣


General StrikeEdit

February 17, 2017Edit

  1. Mark Your Calendar. The US is preparing for its first ever nationwide general strike


Townhall MeetingsEdit

GeneralEdit

  1. GOP is reconsidering Town Hall meetings after Republican politicians get called out repeatedly on their bullshiat by constituents
  2. Of the 88 scheduled GOP town halls so far, 35 of them are for just one dude in Wisconsin
    1. Spicer says town hall protesters are fake. The news is also fake. Anything not pro-Trump is fake. The Trump White House: chock filled with lunatics. Hey, stop being fake. Your opinion is fake. Fake
  3. GOP: we can't go to townhall meetings, that's where someone shot Gabby Giffords. Gabby: put your big boy panties on, man up and attend your fraking meetings already you bunch of whiny crybaby losers
  4. Kellyanne Conway to angry town hall constituents: Solve your own problems, we're just in this for the grift
  5. Democratic members of congress are not having to put up with the public humiliations that are plaguing their Republican colleagues are enduring. No, it's not because their constituents love them it's because they're avoiding having town hall meetings
  6. "Talk about snowflakes who can dish it out but can't take it"
  7. Are the Town Hall Revolts working?
  8. GOP congressman says holding town halls is like being yelled at in a ritual "that the Orientals used to do"

Aurora, ColoradoEdit

  1. After voting to repeal the Affordable Care Act, Colorado Congressman Mike Coffman (R-epugnant) sneaks out the back door prematurely when asked what he's going to replace Obamacare with
    1. Congress is hearing it from all sides after right wingers realized that Obamacare was the same as the ACA

Roseville, CaliforniaEdit

  1. Republican U.S. Congressman from California holds town hall about the Affordable Care Act, with predictable outcome

Certainly Not Knoxville, TennesseeEdit

  1. Ayn Rand loving, boot strappy, manly man Republican Congressman refuses to hold open town hall meeting because he might actually hear something he doesn't like and he just can't handle that sort of thing right now

Cottonwood Heights, UtahEdit

  1. But her emails?
    1. Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-unaway) claims paid agitators protested at his town hall. Should have been worried about masked, armed people who rushed guards to try getting in. "They exercised their open-carry right. But it's obviously a challenge for us"

Yertle, KentuckyEdit

  1. Yertle flees Kentucky tarmac in an SUV to avoid protesting constituents, arrives at his home to discover the protesters were outside there too

Los AngelesEdit

  1. Congresswoman Karen Bass holds town hall with everybody pretty much agreeing with each other that Trump's agenda is terrible

PittsburghEdit

  1. Another republican ducks out of a public discussion because of a large, confrontational crowd - of 24 people

Blackstone, VirginiaEdit

  1. The guy who took out Eric Cantor has another trick up his sleeve for Republicans: how to survive their town halls

Maquoketa, IowaEdit

  1. Iowa Senator Joni Ernst, the hog farmer who bragged about castrating pigs and wearing bread bags on her feet, held a town hall where angered GOP voters who felt betrayed chanted "YOUR LAST TERM"
  2. (4/19/2017) Joni Ernst castrates another pig Template:TownhTemplate:Apol

West Fork, ArkansasEdit

  1. Voter completely owns GOP Rep. Steve Womack: "You guys wasted a lot of money on Benghazi, waste a little on Trump" (w/video goodness)

Not Vista, CaliforniaEdit

  1. Darrell Issa to skip town hall meeting so he can spend more time trying to impeach Hillary

Not McDonough, GeorgiaEdit

  1. Senator David Perdue (R-Georgia): Facing my constituents isn't my style

Springdale, ArkansasEdit

  1. Let's see if Sen. Tom Cotton's bold strategy to confront 100% paid protesters pays off
    1. Tom Cotton (R) has at least enough balls left to show up at his town-hall meeting. Let's see how that is gOH MY

Metairie, LouisianaEdit

  1. NaDHa'ghach - 'you have no honor'. Republican congressman subjected to klingon ritual of discommendation. claims he was framed by the Ferengi

SyriaEdit

  1. How bad are these town halls getting for Republicans? John McCain would rather make unannounced visits to war zones than go home to his constituents

Sartell, MinnesotaEdit

  1. Even the Republican town halls are nice in MN: Oh you better don't stop supporting Trump and stop threatening to repeal Obamacare, I may have to vote Democratic next election, dontchaknow

Lawrenceburg, KentuckyEdit

  1. Yertle has outlived his usefulness, according to town hall attendees

Tampa, FloridaEdit

  1. Since he's been refusing to hold one on his own, Progressive activists held a "town hall meeting" featuring a cardboard cutout of Marco Rubio in place of the Senator. Unclear if anyone could tell the difference

Diminish Democracy, New YorkEdit

  1. Ummm yep, that's our New York Republican Rep. Peter King, spineless on the outside... and still rotten on the inside

Kenosha, WisconsinEdit

  1. Paul Ryan's constituents host town hall without him, talk to empty chair representing the master of Stockholm Syndrome
    1. Wherefore art thou, Paul Ryan's balls?

El Espacio Seguro, FloridaEdit

  1. Marco Rubio is avoiding town halls due to "liberal activists." Because all Republicans love him, you see

Verizon, North CarolinaEdit

  1. NC Senator Thom Tillis bravely scheduled a town hall meeting. That took place via telephone

Frost, TexasEdit

  1. Texas congressman Joe "The Oil Gargler" Barton repeatedly insists that beating women is a state's rights issue, then yells at his constituents to shut up when they disagree with his rampant idiocy

Cedar Rapids, IowaEdit

  1. Slavishly devoted Trump supporter and Iowa senator Joni Ernst is holding a town hall in Cedar Rapids today. No word if she'll show up wearing bread bags on her feet

Columbia, South CarolinaEdit

  1. (3/25/2017) Lindsey Graham holds a town hall in deep red South Carolina to say he supports Judge Gorsuch's nomination to the Supreme Court. Let's check in to see how it goes. Ohlawdy.jpg 

Loomis, CaliforniaEdit

  1. (4/11/2017) Tom McClintock (R-Lalalala I Can't Hear You) holds a town hall that goes off the rails rather swiftly Loomis, California, April, 8, 2017Template:Townh

Graniteville, South CarolinaEdit

  1. (4/11/2017) Joe Wilson learns what it feels like when the shoe is on the other foot Template:Townh

Jay, OklahomaEdit

  1. (4/12/2017) "This is a service, no one pays me to be here," claims U.S. Congressman about meeting with his constituents Template:Townh👑
    1. (4/12/2017) GOP REP from OK says he cancelled his town hall meeting due to "safety concerns". According to the owners of the venue, what he was afraid of was attendees being allowed to carry highly dangerous sheet of red and green paper to express opinions Template:Townh

Johnson Creek, Helenville, Sullivan, or Palmyra, WisconsinEdit

  1. (4/14/2017) "No one has to use the internet," said one Congressman who's okay with everyone seeing what kind of porn he watches 

Mesa, ArizonaEdit

  1. (4/14/2017) Arizona Senator Jeff Flake holds a town hall and angrily lays out a "code of conduct" for attendees. Things quickly went downhill from there, with Flake defending Trump and a voter sighing, "Can you please take your job more seriously?" Template:Townh👑

Springfield, MissouriEdit

  1. (4/17/2017) Claire McCaskill sets out to prove the GOP doesn't have a lock on embarrassing town halls Template:Townh

Little Rock, ArkansasEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) Senator booed for defending Trump's withholding of tax returns from public scrutiny. That's a bold move, Cotton Template:Townh

Oroville, CaliforniaEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) Doug LaMalfa's (R) response to boos at his town hall meeting:"Do you yell at church?" Audience members:"Do you lie at church?" Template:Townh

Meridian, IdahoEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Rep Raul Labrador (R-etriever) booed at town hall meeting when he defend's Trump's mockery of a disabled reporter by pointing out that time Obama...Obama....wait, he had something for this townh{{}}

Lafayette, CaliforniaEdit

  1. (4/24/2017) "The most dangerous person in America isn't a terrorist, it's the person who's president of the United States" Template:Townh

FCC Public Comment Section, InternetEdit

  1. (4/26/2017) Before Net Neutrality is forever destroyed, let's take a moment and tell FCC commissioner Ajit Pai just exactly how we feel Template:Pubcom


BoycottsEdit

  1. Well, no need for that Trump wine boycott. It's sold out
  2. The liberal boycott of Ivanka's clothing line was an outstanding success; best performing weeks in the history of the brand


CitizensEdit

  1. If you picked "three days before the inauguration" as the moment when the first protester would try to light himself on fire in front of the Trump International Hotel, your prize is waiting for you (Theodore De Mont[2])
  2. Senate confirmation hearing for AG-nominee Jeff Sessions interrupted by hecklers, KKK attendees
  3. Protester booted from Sessions confirmation for laughing at idea he treats 'all people equally'
  4. Most of the 230 rioters arrested in Washington D.C. following Donald Trump's inauguration will be charged with felony rioting, which carries a punishment of up to 10 years in jail and $25k fine
    1. B-b-but Project Veritas assured us that Bannon said we wouldn't be prosecuted if we did his bidding
  5. Petition on Whitehouse.gov calling for Trump to release his tax returns has 250,000 signatures. That means he's got to release them, right?
  6. A half-dozen reporters have been arrested and hit with felony riot charges (possible 10 years, $25,000) for filming the unrest during Trump's inauguration
  7. Trump's unpresidented meltdown proves protest works
  8. Donald Trump has no idea how terrifying lawyers working for free, a blue book and a Lexis password can be. He's about to find out
  9. Comcast protests Trump immigration order, holds rally between the hours of 2-4 pm
  10. You have to give credit where credit is due: Trump has certainly gotten people re-engaged in the civic process again. Senate Switchboard has been receiving an average of 1.5 MILLION calls a day from angry constituents in the last two weeks
  11. Bowling Green fundraiser set up to fleece the rubes
  12. PostcardsForBannon
    1. White House getting a lot of postcards addressed to President Bannon, which is making our incredibly rational actual President chuckle with delight
  13. WhyTrumpIsGreat.com
    1. A list of all the reasons Trump is great and you libs can suck it
  14. Impeach President Bannon signs appearing across America. Bannon's puppet, Trump, said to be very irritated. Donnie is great inspiration for practical jokers across America
  15. You know, it's getting so's you can't even hold a private meeting with fatcat business leaders in your state without a bunch of constituents showing up outside and acting like they have a right to be heard and ask you questions or something
  16. Open Records group
    1. B-b-but his emails? Open government group releases the first 1,500 of 7,500 pages of emails that they received under an Open Record Act lawsuit, that newly installed EPA chief Scott Pruitt sent during his days as Oklahoma's Attorney General
  17. Ladies and Gentlemen, the trolls who won CPAC
  18. The end result of climbing Trump Tower to make a political statement is that you are now banned from contacting him via Twitter. Sounds like a good trade off
  19. National Cheese Doodle Day
    1. "Today is the day when all patriotic Americans will show President Trump all the respect he deserves"
  20. Trump is making America so great that Blacks, Latinos, and Whites all agree that race relations are getting worse since he took office. Asians? No idea. Great people, Asians. The best
  21. 21st Century Bastards
    1. The new toy collection we've all been waiting for: "21st Century Bastards - asshole action figures for the darkest timeline"
  22. Planned Parenthood aborts Trump's offer to fund them if they stop providing their least-used service that isn't even covered by government funding
  23. The beginning skirmishes of the looming battle are breaking out in California. Bonus: the police just watched
  24. Wait, do you hear that music at the anti-Trump rally? OH MAH GOD IT'S KAINE
  25. Plastic Jesus
    1. Looking to spruce up that abandoned lot? How about a Future Internment Camp sign?
  26. Day Without A Woman
    1. Hey, you know that Women's March Strike that's supposed to happen today? It's being coordinated by an organization whose leadership is all male
    2. Statue of Liberty undergoes metaphor renovation
  27. The Left's version of O'keefe is low energy, didn't even dress up for this, sad
  28. Ex NC Governor Pat McCrory: Some people won't hire me just because I spearheaded blatantly discriminatory legislation that damaged the reputation of my state and incompetently managed the fallout. Can you imagine the nerve?
  29. Satire
    1. Learn to loot, smash skulls, and scream the right way in this Protest Safety Simulator

(3/23/2017) New poll indicates that 60% of Americans find Trump dishonest. The 40% who find him honest are either his family or board of directors  (3/23/2017) TrumpCare is so full of win, only 17% of voters approve of it -- including a paltry 41% of Republicans  (3/23/2017) We're going to vote today to throw 24 million Americans off healthcare. Why don't we just go ahead and arrest 54 disabled people in wheelchairs protesting while we're at it? That ought to generate some favorable press 

  1. (3/29/2017) Petition circulates demanding Melania Trump move to the White House or she and her husband pay for security out of their own pocket 
  2. @BurnedYourTweets
    1. (3/29/2017) Twitter account @BurnedYourTweet automatically tweets video of a robot printing out and then burning President Trump's tweets after he posts them 
  3. Fernand Pajot, The Out Group
    1. (3/30/2017) A brief illustration about how political polarization hinders communication. Those jerks on the other side are really out of touch 
  4. Patriotic Millionaires
    group of wealthy Utahans
    1. (3/30/2017) 'Patriotic Millionaires' in Utah ask for higher taxes on the rich the group is called "Patriotic Millionaires"
  5. (4/17/2017) Well, now Americans are making financial decisions based on Trump 
  6. Tax Day Protesters
    1. (4/16/2017) President Trump calls for investigations into people who protest against him. This is not a repeat of the last four times he's done this 👑
  7. (4/18/2017) "A Taoist gives up his seat so a Hasidic couple could sit together. They scoot over so a Muslim mother could sit and nurse her baby, on Easter Sunday" 
  8. Desiree Fairooz
    1. (5/2/2017) Do not taunt Happy Fun Jeff Sessions, because the Justice Department will prosecute you Code Pink activist Desiree Fairooz was arrested for laughing at Senator Shelby's claim that Sessions's history of "treating all Americans equally under the law is clear and well-documented"🚓Template:Tyrant

Running for Public OfficeEdit

  1. An American comes up with a brilliant gun violence prevention system, but first a lot of people had to die

Emily's ListEdit

progressive group whose mission is to get Democratic women on the ballot

  1. (4/23/2017) There are already 11,000 women talking about running for office in the 2018 mid-term elections. "First we marched. Now, we run" 👟😈
  2. (4/25/2017) The 2018 midterms are gonna be totally insane brah, with hundreds of Berniebros inspired to get out there and lose horribly to people with things like funding and organization Template:2018d👟

Democratic Congressional Campaign CommitteeEdit

in talks with more than 300 prospective candidates in about 70 Republican-held and open districts around the country

  1. (4/25/2017) The 2018 midterms are gonna be totally insane brah, with hundreds of Berniebros inspired to get out there and lose horribly to people with things like funding and organization Template:2018d👟

Brand New CongressEdit

recruits and trains candidates across the country to primary-challenge incumbents

  1. (4/25/2017) The 2018 midterms are gonna be totally insane brah, with hundreds of Berniebros inspired to get out there and lose horribly to people with things like funding and organization Template:2018d👟

ScientistsEdit

  1. Grab your lab coat: scientists are planning a March on DC
    1. Scientists yesterday: We need to march on Washington. Scientists today: fark it, let's run for office
  2. Scientists have determined through careful study that the Trump Administration is filled with looney anti-science crackpots. They used a double-blind study and common sense to arrive at these findings

Stephen HawkingEdit

  1. Donald Trump's abhorrent science denial finally rouses Stephen Hawking's fury. Crush him in the claws of your giant mecha-suit, Stephen, crush him

Neil deGrasse TysonEdit

Black Science Man

  1. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Trump's Budget Will Make America Weak, Sick & Stupid. Obvious tag is really getting a workout this morning
  2. (4/19/2017) Jane Goodall, Bill Nye, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson would all like it if you marched for science this upcoming weekend 

Jane GoodallEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Jane Goodall, Bill Nye, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson would all like it if you marched for science this upcoming weekend 

Bill NyeEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Jane Goodall, Bill Nye, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson would all like it if you marched for science this upcoming weekend 
  2. (4/21/2017) For some reason, scientists usually donate to Democrats rather than Republicans. I wonder why that could be 

March for Science and ReasonEdit

  1. (4/23/2017) The twenty-one best March for Science and Reason protest signs Template:SciTemplate:Protest
    1. (4/24/2017) Carl Sagan ruined science sci{{}}

JuggalosEdit

  1. First, Donald Trump awoke the fury of women, who marched on DC. Then he angered scientists enough to organize their own March. But now...now...he has awoken the fury of the Juggalos

CelebritiesEdit

  1. Meryl Streep brings down the house during her Lifetime Achievement award acceptance speech. Donald Trump to declare war on Hollywood in 3... 2...
    1. Donald Trump can't handle Meryl Streep's criticism, so he goes on Twitter and calls her a "Hillary lover" and a Hollywood hippie
    2. Overrated Meryl Streep gets record breaking 20th Oscar nomination. Trump gnashes his teeth and threatens to arrest all of Hollywood
  2. Kal Penn took a racist troll's Twitter post and turned it into a fundraiser for Syrian refugees ... and raised over $200,000 in less than 24 hours
  3. Julia Louis-Dreyfus gave one of the best speeches at an awards show tonight, castigating the president and his heinous actions
  4. Trump has lost the support of the highly coveted gay fish demographic
  5. Spicer's daily briefing- blah blah blah. I'll never be able to look at that guy without seeing Melissa McCarthy now
  6. That's quite a photograph Rosie O'Donnell has on her Twitter profile
  7. As Alec Baldwin gets ready to host SNL for a record 17th time, he explains the secret to his near-perfect Trump impression: "We're just repeating back what he says"
  8. American wrestler in Mexico has taken on the persona of Donald Trump, to jeers and boos from the crowd, as he predictably loses matches against Mexican wrestling heroes
  9. 16-year-old who sang national anthem at Trump's inauguration has already turned on him over transgender bathroom issue. Trump expected to tweet "She can't sing and is kinda chunky. Ivanka was much hotter at 16. SAD." at any minute
  10. Caitlyn Jenner: "I never thought the leopards would eat MY face"
  11. "There's this fear that transgender kids are using it as a ruse to sneak into restrooms and grab people by the genitals. If you're looking for the kind of person who would do) that, you need to look no further than the Oval Office. He's right there"
  12. George Takei breaks down the difference between 'access' and 'covered'
  13. Alec Baldwin is very open to the idea of playing Trump at the annual White House Press Correspondents' dinner, in fact, he's actually lobbying for the position
  14. While pussies are talking about leaving America to run away from Trump, Captain Picard wants to come to America and become a citizen to fight Trump
  15. If you were wondering how SNL would portray Kellyanne Conway's 'sofa-gate' moment, you won't be disappointed
  16. Let's check in on the only Russian Trump *hasn't* talked to
  17. There weren't any MFing immigrants on the MFing slave ships
  18. John Oliver really, really hates Trumpcare and everything the GOP is trying to do with the ACA, so he is again trying to reach Trump by purchasing airtime on Fox & Friends and airing another commercial targeting the DC audience
  19. Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, and Sully Sullenberger to appear at ACLU benefit
  20. (3/23/2017) Melissa McCarthy is watching Sean Spicer pontificate 
  21. (3/24/2017) In case you think celebrities backing politicians is something new: Orson Welles made campaign appearances -- and even wrote some speeches -- for FDR 
  22. (3/27/2017) You will never be able to unsee Sir Patrick "Kellyanne Conway" Stewart in drag 
  23. (4/1/2017) Oh My 2018 George Takei is going to challenge Devin Nunes🃏
  24. (4/2/2017) Tina Fey to college-educated white women who voted for Trump: "You dumb white biatches" 
  25. (4/17/2017) Samuel L Jackson encourages Georgians to stop Donald Trump with great vengeance and furious anger[sic
  26. (4/19/2017) Not that we need any more proof, but Casey Affleck is a political dumbass 
  27. (4/21/2017) 'Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate. Trump knew that' says Yoda, getting his own quote wrong 
  28. (4/25/2017) Just how bad at your job do you have to be if an actress says she feels sorry for you? Alison Janney opens up to Colbert about Sean Spicer Template:DrstcTemplate:Pity
  29. (5/2/2017) Colbert might just be the subject of Trump's next tweetstorm if he sees this video "Sir, the only the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin?s cock holster."Template:Drstc
    1. (5/3/2017) Republicans are very, very concerned about Stephen Colbert's possible use of a homophobic slur Template:DrstcTemplate:SatTemplate:Snow
    2. (5/4/2017) Chris Christie tries to white knight President Trump over Stephen Colbert's jokes about the commander in chief. "My concern is: Where's the outrage?" Template:Drstc

AthletesEdit

  1. Patriot's Martellus Bennett refuses to visit White House following Super Bowl victory. "It is what it is. People know how I feel about it. Just follow me on Twitter"
  2. At this rate, Trump will be taking a group photo with approximately two of the New England Patriots
    1. "Well, you know what's interesting, this is our fifth Super Bowl in the last 16 years and every time we've had the privilege of going to the White House, a dozen of our players don't go. This is the first time it's gotten any media attention"
  3. American wrestler in Mexico has taken on the persona of Donald Trump, to jeers and boos from the crowd, as he predictably loses matches against Mexican wrestling heroes
  4. (4/19/2017) Here are all the Patriots players who won't be attending the White House meeting with the President. Apparently, something to do with mani/pedi appointments and hairwashing Template:Boyc
    1. (4/20/2017) Biggest turnout for a Super Bowl winning team at the White House. Ever 

StudentsEdit

UC BerkeleyEdit

  1. Milo Yiannopoulos at UC Berkeley
    1. Milo Yiannopoulos appearance at Berkeley cancelled after rioters set fire to buildings in protest
      1. Milo Yiannopoulos calls Berkeley riots 'ironic and self-defeating,' having correctly identified the Democratic party strategy for the past eight years
      2. UC Berkeley poised for surge in private donations
      3. Good news: Controversial protest at UC Berkeley succeeds. Bad news: At driving pre-sales of Milo Yiannopoulos's new book through the roof
      4. Police congratulated for showing great restraint during riots at UC Berkeley by doing nothing and letting the angry mob cause injuries and damage
      5. An investigation is revealing that the rioters at UC Berkely the other night were not UC students
  2. Ann Coulter at UC Berkeley
    1. (3/31/2017) Three months after students at UC Berkeley successfully repelled a talk by Conservative lightning rod of hate Milo Yiannopoulos, the college is now inviting Baba Yaga to discuss illegal immigration. This should end about as well 
  3. Astroturf Rally at UC Berkeley, April 14, 2027
    1. (4/15/2017) Another slap fight at the UCal Corral 💥Template:Astro

Harvard's John F. Kennedy School of GovernmentEdit

    1. (4/5/2017) It's the cool kids club "Resistance School" or "Dumbledore's Army"
    2. (4/13/2017) The kids at Harvard have created themselves a real-life "Dumbledore's Army". Their eventual goal, I assume, is to have Donald Trump carried off into the Forbidden Forest and ravished by centaurs. Now we know why he's gutting the EPA, at least 

Georgetown UniversityEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) College students "scare away" Donald Trump's counterterrorism advisor by asking questions. Sad 🐑📰

DartmouthEdit

  1. (5/1/2017) Today in obvious campus news: Study finds Democrats least tolerant of opposing views Template:Stdy

Religious LeaderEdit

Rev. Lori WalkeEdit

Mayflower Congregational Church

  1. (4/14/2017) Actual prayer in the OK Legislature : "We pray, oh God, that our elected officials will have the courage to take care of our kids instead of upgrading the executive suites in Chesapeake arena." Fark: there is video 

Other CountriesEdit

  1. Germany erects wall around America and the tourists love it
  2. Small towns all over the world are passing resolutions stating Donald Trump is not welcome, to the amusement of residents of those places: "Why would Trump visit Gateshead? The only excitement here is the traffic lights changing on the High Street"
  3. Swedish PM makes fun of Trump with signing picture
  4. Miles de personas protestan contra Trump en la Ciudad de México
  5. American wrestler in Mexico has taken on the persona of Donald Trump, to jeers and boos from the crowd, as he predictably loses matches against Mexican wrestling heroes
  6. Victims of the Bowling Green massacre have some Swedish comrades today. Fark needs a Trump tag
  7. Swedish paper mocks Trump: A moose fell in love on Friday, weather closed roads but no terror attack
    1. Sweden's former prime minister reminds everyone there were more murders in Florida ,where Trump spoke, than in the entire country of Sweden last year
  8. After 1,800,000 sign petition, British Parliament to hold 3-hour debate on whether to refuse Donald Trump the honor of a state visit due to his "well-documented misogyny and vulgarity". Bollocks. Arsebiscuits
  9. Girl Guides of Canada
    1. Trump's travel ban preventing certain groups from coming into US. Do those groupds groups include A: Al Queda? B: ISIS? or C: The Canadian version of the Girl Scouts?

Foreign LeadersEdit

  1. Peruvian President Kuczynski has taken a strong stand against Trump's "America First" agenda, which caught Trump off guard, as he assumed all Russians were behind him 100 percent
  2. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau invites Ivanka trump to the Broadway premier of "Come From Away"-a musical about a Canadian town that welcomed all the stranded US air travellers (refugees) on 9/11-or that's what they're telling Jared anyway
  3. Mayor Sadiq Khan (Labour Party, London)
    1. (3/24/2017) London mayor: I have better things to do than talk about idiots on Twitter 

Foreign CartoonistsEdit

  1. Foreign cartoonists inspired by Trump's first month...oh dear

The People of ScotlandEdit

  1. (3/28/2017) In Scotland, the popularity of the name Donald has really plummeted. Kinda like when Adolf took a hit back in the forties 

SatiristsEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) Satirists are doing a better job covering President Trump than journalists are because journalists are not allowed to dismiss ridiculous bullshiat out of hand Template:Sat
  2. (4/5/2017) Three things Trump hates more than anything else are being laughed at, taunted, and heartily mocked. Fortunately America has no shortage of comedians who're doing just that.Time for him and the GOP to rewrite the 1st Amendment 
  3. (4/11/2017) Making Veep in the dawn of Trump. Trump is basically Jonah at this point 
  4. (4/19/2017) Why don't conservatives trust the mainstream media? Could it be because they're all being characterized as "trailer-park, Oxy-snorting half-wits who divide their time between retweeting Alex Jones fantasies and ironing their Klan hoods"? Naaaaah Template:Snow

Construction WorkersEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Audience boos Trump after he tells the room full of construction workers that he won most of their votes Template:NekkedTemplate:Lsbor

American CitiesEdit

  1. How San Diego and Tijuana told the border wall to go f*ck itself

AnonymousEdit

  1. Anonymous tells Trump to resign by February 28th or they'll - march?

Liberal TrollsEdit

  1. (4/6/2017) All that President Bannon talk really pissed off Trump. Well, as much as President Bannon will allow Trump to be pissed off Template:1st

The InternetEdit

  1. (4/27/2017) Trump creates a new hotline to report crimes committed by aliens. The internet responds 1-855-48-VOICE (86423)

IllustratorsEdit

  1. Hollywood illustrators, including some from Disney, Nickelodeon and DreamWorks, are collaborating on an anti-Trump children's book titled Not My President. Proceeds go to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood

FarkersEdit

  1. (4/6/2017) Photoshop Challenge: Homeland Security would like to see proposals for a border wall. Photoshop a proposal that trumps all others 

PoetsEdit

  1. Wherefore art thou, Paul Ryan's balls?

MusiciansEdit

  1. Snoop Dogg finally addresses the problem that no one else will speak of: there's too much clown shiat going on
    1. Marco Rubio says Snoop Dogg shouldn't have shot a toy gun at a clown dressed as President Trump, possibly since second amendment solutions for problems should only be proposed by clowns
    2. Marco Rubio says Snoop Dogg should have been more careful about pretending to shoot a Trump clown in a video because "presidents have been assassinated before"
    3. With absolutely nothing else to concern himself with as President of the United States Trump tweets about "failing" Snoop Dogg. Could this be the beginning of a new West Coast-East Coast rivalry?
    4. Fox News host suggested that the Secret Service should kill Snoop Dogg and Bow Wow after Snoop recently made a music video in which he points a gun at a clown version of President Trump, because that's what you do in a Democracy

ReadersEdit

  1. President Donald Trump has been good for literature. Anti-fascist literature, that is. Trump's inauguration has caused a huge spike in sales of 'The Origins of Totalitarianism' by Hannah Arendt and 'American Fascists' by Christopher Hedges

BillionairesEdit

  1. Bill Gates warns that Frank Herbert's The White Plague is about to become a reality, insists that a robust healthcare system for all peoples is the only line of defense against such an act

Local Law EnforcementEdit

  1. Newly elected Latino democratic sheriff informs the federal government that their deputies will no longer serve as deputies for ICE

WiccansEdit

  1. Across the world, people reach for their robes and wizard hats

FarmersEdit

  1. Jon Stewart shows up on the Late Show to offer some advice to the media

VotersEdit

  1. "Hansen's 58-42 percent victory over Marino on Saturday ensured that Democrats will maintain control of the (Delaware) state Senate. It also notched a big win for a new generation of Democratic activists shocked into action by the election"

CEOsEdit

  1. CEO of Campari wants to see what would happen if we got President Trump mind-bendingly drunk: "I think a Negroni would do him very good." Thus began WWIII

Statue of LibertyEdit

  1. Statue of Liberty undergoes metaphor renovation

Think TanksEdit

  1. Brookings Institute
    1. Brookings Institute:"At least 15 million will lose their coverage under the American Health Care Act." Congressional Republicans:"We don't like your negative analysis so we'll make our own. With some spreadsheets or whatever"

American Society of Civil EngineersEdit

  1. Civil engineers estimate it will cost approximately the amount of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to fix all of America's broken shiat

EnvironmentalistsEdit

  1. Activists protest against Trump's environmental policies by hitting him where it hurts: right in the 18th hole. No, this has nothing to do with Ivanka
    1. The rich history of vandalizing property belonging to Donald Trump

Children's ShowsEdit

  1. Back in the 80s and 90s, muppet Ronald Grump repeatedly tried to gentrify Sesame Street and knock down Oscar the Grouch's trashcan for luxury developments

BusinessmenEdit

  1. Jay Faison
    North Carolina businessman
    1. (3/27/2017) The loneliest person on the right in Donald Trump's Washington is: a) a free-trader, b) an immigration lover or, c) a conservative Republican who believes climate change is a serious threat 

Energy CompaniesEdit

  1. CPS Energy
    1. (3/28/2017) Coal-powered energy plant to Trump: Screw you, we're still going with clean energy 

Holocaust survivorsEdit

  1. Bernard Marks
    1. (3/29/2017) Auschwitz survivor tells US immigration officials that history is 'not on their side.' So ya know, we've got that going for us the man's name is Bernard Marks

Net neutrality activistsEdit

  1. Adam McElhaney
    self-described net neutrality activist
    1. (3/29/2017) Yesterday, Congress killed internet privacy, so let's support a crowdfunding campaign that seeks to purchase and publish the search histories of all U.S. lawmakers responsible for this 

SchoolsEdit

  1. (3/31/2017) Schools are now teaching students how to recognize fake news. Lesson 1 - Ignore any news channels that show statements being made by President Trump or Sean Spicer 

Investors, ConsumersEdit

  1. (4/17/2017) Well, now Americans are making financial decisions based on Trump 

American Library AssociationEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Republicans celebrate the death of Net Neutrality by knifing public libraries in the kidney and pushing them onto the "slow lane" tracks Template:BiblioTemplate:Public

Silicon Valley Tech CompaniesEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) For some reason, Silicon Valley decided to make the Right's "paid protester" lie come true Template:H1b

Nebraskan farmersEdit

Argue that the Keystone Pipeline will:

  • threaten the local economy by taking prime farming and grazing lands through eminent domain
  • threaten the local water source, the Ogallala aquifer, one of the largest freshwater aquifers in the US
  • seize American private property for a foreign company
  • provide only temporary jobs that will end with construction
  • provide limited tax revenues which will decline over time
  1. (4/20/2017) Nebraskan farmers to make the strongest, most compelling case than we've ever heard against Keystone pipeline by pointing out how it may hurt some white people Template:Keypipe

Duty to WarnEdit

an organization of mental health professionals who think Mr Trump is mentally unfit to be president

  1. (4/22/2017) You don't say "Ad Hoc 'Town Hall' Meeting: Does Professional Responsibility Include the Duty to Warn?"

New World ProjectsEdit

Flying Pigs on Parade

  1. (5/5/2017) When giant pigs fly in Chicago it's probably for an anti-Trump Tower protest Template:Protest

AttorneysEdit

  1. (5/2/2017) Trump University settlement delayed by one person crazy enough to think they should get their money back from this fraud Sherri Simpson, Florida attorney; former Trump University customer/plaintiff is seeking full restitution for tuition, plus damages and interest taken from her under false pretensesTemplate:Trump

HistoriansEdit

  1. (5/2/2017) Yale historian: 'Trump and his actual policies are so unpopular that "it's pretty much inevitable" Trump will try to overthrow Democracy Timothy Snyder, historian at Yale; author "On Tyranny"Template:PsaTemplate:Goppol

Former PresidentsEdit

  1. Former president to current president: That's not how you president, you chucklef*ck
    1. Barack Obama responds to Trump's claims that the Muslim ban is just an extension of Obama's own policies: "Get the fark out of here with those miniature hands, Cheeto"
  2. GWB believes the media is "indispensable to democracy," though, to be fair, he does not know what indispensable means

Former Vice PresidentsEdit

  1. Diamond Joe Biden launches charitible foundation to provide desperately needed cases of Hurricane High Gravity malt liquor and Molly Hatchet albums to hot unwed mothers
    1. Uncle Joe drift-slides his Trans-Am into a parking space at the Newseum in DC, hops out, whips off his shades, strolls up to the podium, and proceeds to give the Trump administration what-fer over its attacks on the media and judiciary
    2. University launches Biden research and policy institute, to focus on economic reform, civil rights and the proper techniques for washing a Trans-Am
  2. (3/24/2017) And just when it looked like all hope was lost for Obamacare, twin roosters tails of dust were spotted on the horizon accompanied by the throaty roar of a Trans-Am's engine going full out 
  3. (3/31/2017) Uncle Joe called 17 GOP Senators to tell them they "knew better" than to block Garland's nomination. Nine responded that they couldn't do anything about it because the Koch brothers or somebody is going to drop $5 million into my race and I'll lose {{nom}
  4. (5/1/2017) Is Joe Biden looking to leave a few more donuts on the White House lawn? Template:JoeTemplate:2020s

Children of Former Presidents

  1. Jenna Bush uses her father's words to rebuke Trump on his immigration ban
  2. Planned Parenthood about to see a lot more Bush than usual
  3. She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted in writing a children's book

Former Nixon Staffers

  1. John Dean
    1. When the lawyer who defended Nixon and was jailed for Watergate thinks you're a bad dude, it's probably best to have a think about your conduct
    2. Former Nixon White House Counsel John Dean: The actions of the Trump White House in response to the Russia story seem AWFULLY familiar to me...wait, don't tell me, it'll come to me any second

Former Presidential Candidates

  1. Not Sure for president

Former Cabinet Secretaries

  1. Robert Reich lectures sheriff on living in a fact-free world, making up statistics about immigrant crimes
  2. (3/28/2017) Conservative goes on Anderson Cooper to boast Obamacare is in a death spiral, gets smacked down by Robert Reich who demands things like evidence, proof, and explanations 

Former Commission Chair

  1. (4/17/2017) Former FEC Chairwoman Calls for the elimination of the politics tab. Hey Ann, it's not that hard. A bottle of Pappy Van Winkle should do the trick “Data, Science, and the Future of Democracy" "unconference" at UC Berkeley, February 3, 2017Template:FedregTemplate:Campr

Former Speakers of the House

  1. Former leader of the Orangemen and Lord High Derper, John Boehner tells a conference of health care executives that a repeal and replacement of Obamacare is "not going to happen" adding under his breath "I told those dumb farks that years ago"

Former Career Diplomats

  1. America's most senior diplomat just left government service, and after serving six presidents is now able to speak his mind publicly: "What the fark, man?"

Former Directors of the CIA

  1. Fmr CIA Director Michael Hayden slams pro-Trump media for peddling 'illegitimate' and 'non-fact-based worldview', perhaps forgetting for a moment that this is all they know how to do

Former White House Ethics lawyers

  1. What exactly did Jeff Sessions say to the Russian ambassador and when did he know it?

former Aides to the President

  1. (4/18/2017) Even the mighty oak can be chopped down as Jeffrey Lord learned while trying to defend Trump's tax dodging, getting put in his place by a former aide to Clinton ?Am I president of the United States, Jeffrey? That?s the dumbest question I?ve ever heard anybody ask on television. You call yourself a political commentator and you ask a stupid question like that, Jeffrey? You should be focused on what President Trump is not doing, not what I am not doing ? That?s ridiculous.?


Former Elected Officials

former Rep. David Jolly (R FL 13th)

  1. Former Republican congressman to Trump: STFU and GBTW. If only current Republican Congresspeople would start talking like this, stuff might actually get done
  2. So we've ALL been thinking it, but credit goes to former Rep. David Jolly (R-FL) for being the first to come out and say it publicly: President Donald Trump isn't "intellectually qualified" to be president

former Governor of Ohio, John Kasich

  1. Not Sure for president

former Speaker of the House, John Boehner

  1. Former leader of the Orangemen and Lord High Derper, John Boehner tells a conference of health care executives that a repeal and replacement of Obamacare is "not going to happen" adding under his breath "I told those dumb farks that years ago"

former Rep. Gabriel Giffords (D AZ 8th)

  1. GOP: we can't go to townhall meetings, that's where someone shot Gabby Giffords. Gabby: put your big boy panties on, man up and attend your fraking meetings already you bunch of whiny crybaby losers

Retired Military

  1. Admiral who oversaw the mission to get Osama bin Laden says Donald Trump is the worst threat to democracy he's ever witnessed


Federal Government Employees

  1. You don't say

Rogue websites

  1. Social media postings from the official US Department of Defense accounts sometimes provide an important window into a person's #mentalhealth. Know what to look for
  2. Badlands National Park Twitter account goes rogue, starts tweeting scientific facts about climate change in defiance of President Trump
  3. Official Death Valley National Park feed now rogue, posting about Japanese internment camps. This is in addition to resistance from Badlands and @AltNatParkSer
  4. NASA has decided to make all the scientific research it funds absolutely free and available online. I wonder what brought this on. Hmm, I guess We'll never know
  5. Liberals can't stop falling for erotic political fan fiction in the age of Trump
  6. We can't investigate any Russian connections, we are far too busy investigating this
  7. Anonymous user(s) behind @ALT_USCIS Twitter account
    1. (4/6/2017) The Trump administration is all for unmasking when it comes to twitter accounts critical of the president Twitter v. Department of Homeland Security, et al., filed in US District Court, Northern District of California, 3:17-cv-01916Template:Rogue

Resignations

  1. Entire State Department senior management team resigns
  2. Trump: "The Border Patrol endorses me." US Border Patrol Chief: "Hasta la vista"
  3. "I was a Muslim in Trump's White House. I lasted 8 days"
  4. "I didn't think I'd ever leave the CIA. But because of Trump, I quit"
    1. That "I quit the CIA because of Trump" guy that lit up the internets? Yep, big Clinton donor. WaPo has to admit it after the internets and even Wolf Blitzer looked it up

Ignoring direct orders

USDA

  1. USDA tells its employees to GBTW and ignore President Trump, who is clearly an idiot

Acting Attorney General Sally Yates

  1. The person responsible for sacking the people ordering immigrants to be detained has been sacked
  2. A reminder: Trump did not fire Flynn, but he fired the woman who warned him Flynn was compromised

Miscellaneous Federal Agencies

  1. Trump to federal agencies: YOU WILL BOW TO ME NOW Said agencies: Ummm, how about no

State Department

  1. The little people at the State Department are revolting

James Mattis

Secretary of Defense

  1. Republicans upset with Sec Def Mattis because he is proving too responsible and independent with his appointment, refusing to appoint political operatives or to push for an increase to the defense budget as they are demanding

Following Orders

National Park Service

  1. National Park Service releases hundreds of ground and arial photographs of President Trump's inauguration and yup, looks like we can expect an incoming tweet storm

GAO

Government Accountability Office

  1. (3/28/2017) GAO 2 ✔ $$ 4 POTUS 🏰 ✈🌴 & ⛳ trips 

IRS

Internal Revenue Service

  1. (4/17/2017) Sean Spicer: "President Trump can't show his tax returns because he is still under audit." IRS:"An audit still does not bar any U.S. taxpayer from releasing his or her tax returns" 

FEC

Federal Election Commission

  1. (4/17/2017) You know what isn't complicated? Money laundering Template:Laund


Middle Fingers

  1. State Department going rogue, activating Dissent Channel over Trump's immigration order
    1. State Dept. dissenters turn towards encrypted text messages in order to express their dissent, which is still the highest form of patriotic
  2. Leaked memo from the EPA reveals no one at the agency--including its new director--knows what the hell is going on with the agency now that Trump's in charge of everything
  3. Labor Department Employees: "Hey, ya know, maybe the guy we have repeatedly fined and who refers to his own employees as 'the worst of the worst' isn't the best pick for Labor Secretary"
  4. US military: ignore Trump, mitigate against climate change
  5. "In case it wasn't clear, blue-state legislatures are not only in full frontal rebellion against President Donald Trump, they're trolling him"
  6. Nothing to see here, just the four star General head of the U.S. Special Operations Command publicly questioning whether or not the Nation has a stable Government. Carry on
  7. The FBI is feeling a little left out on the whole "let's dump every damning thing we have on Trump" frenzy, releases 1970s housing discrimination documents
  8. An EPA staffer (probably soon to be former) blasts Trump's new EPA boss Scott Pruitt's first speech as "condescending and hypocritical"
  9. Remember the memo from Homeland Security that said country of origin is an unreliable indicator of terrorist threat to US so Muslim ban unlikely to work? Well, they still think it's crap, and said most US based terrorists are radicalized while in US
  10. former U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara
    1. U.S. Attorney Bharara to President Trump: "I won't resign. I want your Keebler Elf to fire me" UPDATE: Elf obliged
      1. Elijah Cummings says there might be a connection between Bharara's firing and the ongoing Trump investigation. Time to bust out the "well duh" images
      2. Fired U.S. Attorney for New York Preet Bharara sends out a Tweet that STRONGLY suggests that he was investigating Trump when he was fired
      3. Gov. Chris Christie victim blames all the recently fired U.S. attorneys. "They received notice that they were leaving office. That notice was given to them by the people of the country on November 8, when they elected a Republican president"
      4. Trump's prosecutorial purge will harm the GOP in the long run
  11. Just in time for your Friday news dump- US Attorney Preet Bharara was actively investigating HHS Director Tom Price when fired
    1. NY AG goes after Trump for the Preet-sacking
  12. Congressional Budget Office
    1. CBO estimates 14 million people losing health insurance if American Health Act is passed
      1. CBO projects iPhone sales to drop by 14M in 2018, accelerate to over 24 million by 2026
      2. NBC Reporter: "Can we trust that what the President says is real?" Bullshiat Spice: "If he's not joking, of course"
      3. Newt licks himself some Trump butt. Mmm, that's good Trump butt
  13. James Mattis
    Secretary of Defense
    1. Trump's Secretary of a good offense: Climate change is real. It's happening now and we need to take it seriously. Trump's future reply: Well kiss my grits


Other elected officials

  1. Trump-o-matic immunity? It's been revoked
  2. Lawmakers from around the country introducing legislation for the sole purpose of annoying Trump

Eric Schneiderman

New York Attorney General

    1. Rex Tillerson may not be a firm believer in Climate Change, but his intra-company alias Wayne Tracker believed that it was about to get hot enough to pop popcorn on the sidewalk

Mayor Mitch Landrieu (D, New Orleans)

  1. Mayor says Trump's budget would be 'devastating' to New Orleans, and that city knows a thing or two about devastation

Tom Perez

chair, Democratic National Committee

    1. (4/2/2017) "They don't give a shiat about people," an angered DNC chair Tom Perez says about the Republicans and cites the Trumpscare debacle as evidence 

Mayor Ed Murray (D, Seattle)

  1. (4/3/2017) Seattle Mayor, to Democrats: "You goddamn idiots" (paraphrased) 

California state Senate Committee on Health

  1. (4/27/2017) While the rest of you are getting thrown off your healthcare plans by Trump, California is moving forward on single payer care{{}}Template:Single

Mayor Bill de Blasio (D NYC)

  1. (4/27/2017) NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio unveils his fat $84 billion budget to counter President Trump's "skinny budget". Enjoy your new 'skinny' diet of cat food NY City residents 

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D TX 18th)

  1. (5/4/2017) Republican tells Dem Rep she's being 'hysterical' after powerful statement against 'Trumpcare' bill Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D TX 18th) called TrumpCare "the mother of all bombs" of healthcare being dropped on thevAmerican people" and said of the Republicans who voted for it, "may God have mercy on your souls!"; in reply, Rep. Doug Collins (R GA 9th) said, "if I had to defend Obamacare, I'd probably go into hysterics, too"Template:Stigg

state Senator Ron Latz (DFL, MN, 46th)

  1. (5/5/2017) MN Senate votes for state-level protections for internet privacy 66-1, then the committee co-chaired by the only Senator who voted against it removes them before the bill is finalized 

state Rep. Paul Thissen (DFL, MN, 61B)

  1. (5/5/2017) MN Senate votes for state-level protections for internet privacy 66-1, then the committee co-chaired by the only Senator who voted against it removes them before the bill is finalized 


The Courts

  1. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit announced, at a time they knew Trump would be wide awake, that they have denied the Department of Justice's emergency motion to lift the travel ban restraining order
  2. Judge tells Trump not to question the legitimacy of judges when his own presidency itself is legitimately in question
  3. Turns out that you actually DO have to commit a crime before the GOP can punish you for it. Go figure
  4. It's a pretty sad time in America's history when basically any story about a success in promoting free and fair elections starts off: "In a vital win for Democrats"
  5. SCOTUS rules 5-3 that if one of your Jurors is a stone cold racist in the Jury room, and votes to convict because of your race, you win a brand, new, TRIAL. In dissent were Justices Alito, Roberts, and, of course, Thomas
  6. "President Donald Trump's revised travel ban executive order suffered its first legal setback Friday as a federal judge blocked the directive's potential impact on the family of a Syrian refugee living in Wisconsin"

Judge Derrick K. Watson

U.S. District Court, Honolulu

  1. Barring a court ruling, travel ban takes effect at midnight. This IS a repeat
  2. Federal judge to Trump: What part of "you can't have a Muslim travel ban" did you not understand the first time around, dumbass?
  3. Five GOP judges supported the travel ban
  4. Maryland judge likes the cut of Hawaii judge's jib, and issues another ban on Trump's travel ban. So for those playing along at home: The revised ban has been banned and banned again
  5. "How does 'no' sound to you? What, you don't like that word? Better get used to it"
  6. (3/24/2017) Judge who blocked Trump's travel ban gets death threats 
  7. (4/5/2017) Turns out that gay people have rights. Go figure 👪

US District Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos

  1. (4/11/2017) Texas judge ruled for a second time that the state's voter ID laws discriminate against minorities. If she has to tell them again, she threatened to put Texas in timeout until it can play nice with everyone Veasey v. AbbottTemplate:Voter

Judge Alex Kozinski

against splitting the 9th Circuit

  1. (4/24/2017) "Fark all this mamsy-pamsy humane execution bullshiat. If we're gonna do this, let's do it right with firing squads and guillotines. And live stream that shiat." -- 9th Circuit Federal Judge Alex Kozinski Federal Judge Alex Kozinski, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals: "I think the use of lethal injection is the way of lying to ourselves, to make it look like executions are peaceful, are benign, are sort of like going to sleep, and they're not ... [i]f we as a society are willing to take away human life, we should be willing to watch it."Template:ModproTemplate:Dp

Media

  1. (March, 2017) The ACLU is the first out of the gate to tilt at the windmills 
  2. (March, 2017) CNN producer detained at Atlanta airport will challenge Trump travel ban under two federal laws 
  3. (March, 2017) A reminder to Trump that you cannot hide from the Mainstream Media 
  4. (March, 2017) Something to chew on about why Liberals are wrong about President Trump 
  5. (March, 2017) Elected officials want high school students to pass the same citizenship test given to immigrants. News station asks lawmakers the same test questions with predictable results 
  6. (March, 2017) This might be a non-ironic use of tagging a story "fake news" 
  7. (March, 2017) It's not every day you get to see Russians run away in panic 
  8. (March, 2017) A minute-by-minute breakdown of two hours of this morning's "Fox & Friends" and President Trump's tweets that soon followed and referenced each story almost verbatim 
  9. (March, 2017) You know all those "BernieBros"? Turns out some were probably paid Russian agents, not that there are any here on Fark, of course 
  10. (4/5/2017) Mainstream media now flooded with articles about how perhaps maybe this Trump guy is an incompetent bigot and the worst choice for President this country has ever made. Thanks. Thanks a lot guys Template:Late

New York Times

  1. (March, 2017) NYT publishes damning look at Trump's conflicts of interest. Trump: "Hey, everyone, look over here at my batshiat insane recount tweets until this blows over" 
  2. (March, 2017) The New York Times plays with the idea of showing it has a spine 
  3. (March, 2017) President Trump has been in office for barely over a month, but he already deserves credit for at least one major accomplishment: He's gotten the New York Times to discover a new interest in intensively covering antisemitism 
  4. (March, 2017) NYT: Dammit, Maddow, what's with the whole "educating your viewers to catch them up to speed on why all of this shiat matters in the end" thing? Why didn't you just do an hour dissecting the stupid returns, dammit. GAWD. *punts puppy* 
  5. (4/27/2017) Jared Kushner built a real estate empire with help from a rich Israeli family, some bribes, and a few other conflicts of interest Template:Confl🏪

NPR

National Public Radio

  1. (March, 2017) And NPR's balls grew three sizes that day 
  2. (March, 2017) Yesterday NPR political reporters resorted to memes and funny gifs during Spicer's conference. Let's hope it catches on 

Washington Post

  1. (March, 2017) Washington Post finds five examples of potential voter fraud. In Trump's inner circle 
  2. (March, 2017) The Washington Post has a new tagline, let's see what it... oh, my 
  3. (4/13/2017) Trump creating army of federal shock troops to patrol the country demanding citizenship papers from all sufficiently brown people. But don't worry, this is all just campaign talk DHS’s acting spokeswoman called the papers “pre-decisional documents”
  4. (4/20/2017) President Trump's claim that "no administration has accomplished more in the first 90 days" than his earns him yet another four Pinocchios from WaPo's Fact Checker list of Trump's promises and Washington Post tracks Trump's promises
    1. (4/21/2017) Trump complains that everyone is trying to measure his Presidency by a deadline he set, and by a standard metric used to measure all past Presidents; calls it ridiculous Template:Petu🔁🐑
      1. (4/21/2017) I know liberals want to think of Trump as a do-nothing President, but while he hasn't done much to secure his own legacy, he has done plenty to undo President Obama's legacy Template:StiggTemplate:Gopgov

George Will

conservative political commentator

  1. (5/4/2017) Oh, George Will wrote an editorial about Trump's fitness for the presidency? Well, he's a lifelong conservative, so I can't imagine that he says anything too terr -- oh my 

Reuters

  1. (March, 2017) Reuters to treat the Trump regime the same way they treat other authoritarian governments 

Google News

  1. (March, 2017) Google News now devotes an entire section to Executive Orders that somehow wasn't required when President Obama went on a signing frenzy for the last few months of his term 

Miscellaneous Foreign Press

  1. (March, 2017) Our President is so respected abroad that even cartoonists in Chinese State Media think it's okay to make fun of him. Bonus: Place him in an iconic Titanic scene, wearing a Nazi band on his arm 
  2. (March, 2017) The reason air quotes were invented: Newspaper "accidentally" uses image of Alec Baldwin as photo of Trump 

Jake Tapper

Chief Washington Correspondent, CNN; anchor of both The Lead with Jake Tapper, and State of the Union

  1. (March, 2017) Arf Arf Motherf*cker. come get me 
    1. (March, 2017) Jake Tapper is having none of this 
  2. (4/25/2017) Jake Tapper points out Donald Trump is "cramming like a college kid" in order to show he learned something in his first 100 days 

Morning Joe

hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski

  1. (March, 2017) Joe Scarborough goes unhinged after seeing Stephen Miller's Sunday Morning talk show performances, calling him a "horrendous embarrassment" who gave the "worst performance ever." Guess ol' Joe has finally hit his breaking point 
  2. (March, 2017) Joe Scarborough calls out Kellyanne of Green Goebbels pattern of lies, says if she's called out she'll whine she's been victimized 
  3. (March, 2017) Morning Joe says it can no longer handle the sudden 30 degree drop in temperature, distant howling of tormented souls, and the overwhelming feeling that life itself is a hopeless pit of despair from which there is no escape. Conway permabanned 
  4. (March, 2017) Trump to MSNBC's Morning Joe: You guys are FAKE NEWS, Morning Joe co-Host: Well, yours is a fake Presidency, it's lie after lie after lie with you. Shots fired 
  5. (March, 2017) Joe Scarborough says there is insurmountable proof of Trump's Russia connections and it has already sunk his presidency 
  6. (March, 2017) Trump unfollows his Morning Joe besties who helped get him elected. Sad 
  7. (March, 2017) "Morning Joe" host Mika Brzezinski looks into camera and says directly to Trump: "It's a very serious allegation. And it questions everything that you're about. And it questions whether we can ever believe you, and whether Americans can believe you" 
  8. (4/21/2017) Joe Scaroborough back on the Palin train Template:BlessTemplate:Aw

USA Today

  1. (March, 2017) Since President Trump denied he has any ties to Russia, USA Today decides to compile a list detailing his past business dealings with Russia going back over 30 years 

NBC News

  1. (March, 2017) And NBC News finally grew a spine: 'Why should Americans trust you?' 
  2. (March, 2017) Trump lied a bunch. There, I saved you five minutes 

Shepard Smith

poor, poor Shepard Smith

  1. (March, 2017) After Trumps deranged press conference, Fox News' Shepard Smith can't even pconf{{}}
  2. (March, 2017) Shepard Smith ruthlessly attacked for betraying the cult with logic and common sense rsch{{}}
  3. (March, 2017) "You can't wait one week to see what it would cost?" an exasperated Shepard Smith lambastes Republican Congressman Buddy Carter for trying to push through an ill-informed ACA repeal 
  4. (March, 2017) The master of understatement Shepard Smith finally snaps on the latest Michael Flynn collusion revelations, barks "There's been a lot of lying." It's just some light treason, right? 
  5. (3/23/2017) Shepard Smith's persistent adherence to liberal claptrap such as "facts," "accuracy," and "journalistic principles" are beginning to distress Fox News viewers, who are now calling for his firing 

Don Lemon

those aren't lemons

  1. (March, 2017) Don Lemon has had enough of Republicans crying Fake News over every story which defies GOP spin 
  2. (March, 2017) Don Lemon fact-checks the alternative filmmaker behind the grossly idiotic film that makes Sweden look like Chicago and resulted in Trump making a global gaffe 
  3. (March, 2017) Don Lemon summarizes Bullshiat Spice's latest word salad by comparing it to Billy Madison. Does he have a Fark handle? 

Chris Wallace

  1. (March, 2017) Fifth-tier My Little Pony villain and outcast Keebler Elf Reince Priebus gets put on the spot by Chris Wallace over Trump's declaration the media is the enemy; "You don't get to tell us what to do" 

John Oliver

  1. (March, 2017) John Oliver: "Man, that Putin guy sure has a lot of good luck, doesn't he?" 
  2. (March, 2017) John Oliver tries to explain the Trump budget but realizes it's impossible as he doesn't speak "fluent toddler psychopath" 
  3. (4/3/2017) John Oliver savages Devin Nunes, "the most 'Devin' Devin in the history of Devins," finishing with how "Stupid Watergate could take down the government. But nobody involved understands why - or how to cover it up - or what the government f*cking is" 
  4. (4/10/2017) John Oliver explains why everyone should be terrified of Trump's strike on Syria, including the quick turn-around the country exhibited in using the air field; "Delta passengers take longer to get back in the air" Template:Shayrat

Rachel Maddow

  1. (March, 2017) This is a test of the American legal system. Only a test, nothing to see here. Please move along 
    1. (March, 2017) Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition...to snipe a Ukranian oligarch out from under a US extradition request 
    2. (March, 2017) Which member of Team Trump will be the feature story in the A block? Come one, come all for the first live discussion thread for "The Rachel Maddow Show", 9 PM EST on MSNBC Live thread
    3. (March, 2017) Trump's insanity is Rachel Maddow's ratings bonanza. What Donnie, no tweets about liberal shows' bad ratings? Because all those shows now have yuge ratings due to your incompetence? Where are the tweets? 
    4. (March, 2017) Microwave some popcorn (make sure you cover the camera first). Rachel Maddow says she has Trump's tax returns. Tonight at 9PM EDT on MSNBC 
      1. (March, 2017) Donald Trump Jr. goes on Twitter rant about fake news after Rachel Maddow unveiled his father's very real tax returns 
    5. (March, 2017) And the biggest revelation from President Trump's leaked tax return? He will benefit more than anyone else with his proposed tax plan 
    6. (March, 2017) Yesterday on MSNBC Rachel Maddow was Charlie Brown to Donald Trump's Lucy holding the football 
    7. (March, 2017) Maddow: Guys, there's a reason his campaign theme was "You can't always get what you want" 
    8. (March, 2017) Stephen Colbert does a spot-on mockery of Rachel Maddow's tax return reveal 
    9. (March, 2017) "I know we at MSNBC done goofed. But hey, its real, so at least we got that going for us" 
    10. (March, 2017) Is MSNBC lackey Rachel Maddow in legal trouble for publishing Trump's tax return? Probably not but she should be 
  2. (4/6/2017) Yertle pushes the nuke button, Nunes is under investigation and Rachel interviews Adam Schiff on The Rachel Maddow Show tonight at 9:00 EDT Live thread
  3. (4/12/2017) Sexy Rexy meets with Pootie Poot, a bipartisan report from the House Intel Committee says Nunes is full of malarkey and the call with China was a "He said Xi said" situation. Which hits the A block of TRMS at 9:00 EDT on MSNBC - tune in and see 
  4. (4/13/2017) A GBU-43 is dropped on ISIS-K, the GCHQ raised the first alarm on the Russians and Trumpers and the Mar-a-Lago health inspection score hits "an all time low". Time to watch the roundup on The Rachel Maddow Show, 9 PM EDT on MSNBC Live thread
  5. (4/17/2017) Rachel Maddow Show's reporting on Trump and Russia and the record ratings it's enjoying is making FoxNews nervous 
  6. (4/19/2017) Trump wants to dump Iran deal even though it works, Sir Jason of Chaffetz bravely runs away from re-election and Elizabeth Warren is in the hot seat for "The Interview." It's Rachel Maddow at 9:00 PM EDT on MSNBC - let's watch together Live thread||maddow}}
  7. (4/25/2017) Chaffetz and Cummings agree that Flynn's in trouble, Ivanka gets booed in Berlin and apparently the Trump team didn't transition to the WH so much as get crapped out. Rachel explains it to us at 9 PM EDT on MSNBC Live thread
  8. (5/5/2017) It's been 117 days since this shiatshow began, Trump's 2nd pick for Army Secretary quit, evidently his typing skills weren't up to speed, Congress has gone home to try to put lipstick on this pig. And maybe Rachel will teach us a new cocktail. MSNBC LIVE at 9:00pm ET Live thread

Trudy RingEdit

reporter, The Advocate

  1. (March, 2017) Rachel Maddow's dogged reporting may take Trump down, says intrepid columnist who forgets that she is part of the Fake News Complex and as such no one will listen to her 

Anderson CooperEdit

CNN host

  1. (March, 2017) Anderson Cooper reveals how he has dealt with Donald Trump's Tweetstorms: "I muted him" 
  2. (March, 2017) "Tonight, we know the President has no facts" 
  3. (March, 2017) Anderson Cooper reaches his limit with the mighty oak forehead Jeffrey Lord over Russiagate, exasperatedly snapping "OH COME ON" 
  4. (4/6/2017) Jeffrey Lord tries to invent new conspiracy theory over Susan Rice, forcing Anderson Cooper to hold back gales of laughter even as the alien whose forehead grew like a mighty oak kept pressing on with his insanity Template:Oc4.1

Abby D. PhillipsEdit

national political reporter for The Washington Post

  1. (March, 2017) White House officially downgrades its apology to "an explanation" 

Joe PerticoneEdit

congressional reporter, Independent Journal Review

  1. (March, 2017) Reporter quits over Obama conspiracy theory story published by his employer 

Masha GessenEdit

journalist, author

  1. (March, 2017) "Is Russiagate just a conspiracy theory?" If the headline ends in a question 

Financial PostEdit

English Canadian business newspaper

  1. (March, 2017) Trump's budget is how the U.S. hands over leadership of 21st century technology to China. It is nothing short of superpower suicide 

Forbes magazineEdit

  1. (March, 2017) Forbes Magazine says Donald Trump's net worth has dropped by $1 billion over the past year. Trump says no problem, I'll just take trips to Mar-a-Lago twice every week and start holding state dinners there 

New York ObserverEdit

  1. (March, 2017) For all their denunciations of 'fake news,' the Trump administration has become a leading purveyor of it, and most of that seems to come to them via Moscow 

Talking Points MemoEdit

online librul msm

  1. (March, 2017) Republicans are being less than honest in selling Trumpcare 

Angela RyeEdit

CNN commentator

  1. (March, 2017) CNN political commentator says "Sean Spicer doesn't believe Sean Spicer at this point". Well, duh - that Ghostbusters remake was an atrocity 

NewsweekEdit

  1. (March, 2017) And so it begins - Newsweek suggests Trump would be wise to negotiate a resignation before his presidency is fatally wounded 

UnivisionEdit

  1. (March, 2017) Since Trump wants to publish a list of crimes committed by immigrants in the US, Univision will now publish a list of illegal immigrant heroes who have contributed to the US, including a mechanic who risked his life to save a kidnapped girl 

Huffington PostEdit

  1. (March, 2017) Presidents under investigation should not get a SCOTUS pick 

Katy TurEdit

MSNBC reporter

  1. (March, 2017) Dave Brat goes into a conspiracy theory meltdown live on the air after Katy Tur asks him a few simple questions 

Associated PressEdit

  1. (March, 2017) Paul Manafort Drafted a Plan in 2005 to Influence American and European Politics for Putin's Benefit, which incidentally is how we ended up with Trump as President 
    1. (March, 2017) Trump: Manawho? Never heard of him 

Graydon CarterEdit

Vanity Fair editor-in-chief, first exposed "short-fingered vulgarian"

  1. (3/23/2017) Of course he was? 

CNNEdit

  1. (3/23/2017) VERY belatedly, CNN suddenly remember what the middle "N" in their name stands for, and start acting like actual journalists, deploying a split screen to debunk Idiot Spice's lies in real time as they televise his press briefings 
  2. (3/24/2017) After CNN reports that Trump aides are being investigated by the FBI for collusion with Russia, Roger Stone sends a ranting letter saying he was defamed and will "spank" his accusers "like little children". Difficulty: he wasn't named in the report 

Carl BernsteinEdit

  1. (3/23/2017) Carl Bernstein says the GOP won't investigate Trump's Russia collusion as "There's a cover-up going on here." And if anyone knows about a conspiracy and cover-up, it's Carl Bernstein 
  2. (4/5/2017) Carl Bernstein says Trump's War on the Press reminds him of Watergate. And he would know Template:Nixon

JezebelEdit

Jalopnik's SJW sister site

  1. (3/23/2017) Here is Trump's TIME interview with all the unverified statements blocked out. Spoiler alert: ████████████ 

Seth AbramsonEdit

freelance journalist

    1. (3/24/2017) Goodbye, Donald 
      1. (3/24/2017) Could this be the timeline that breaks the whole Russia issue wide open? Knowing is half the battle 

Andrea MitchellEdit

chief Foreign Affairs correspondent for NBC News

  1. (3/25/2017) NBC's Andrea Mitchell: White House officials are "purging their cell phones" in expectation of getting subpoenaed 

Juliette KayyemEdit

 author, national security analyst for CNN

  1. (3/25/2017) CNN analyst says the FBI has flipped Michael Flynn in a deal to implicate others in the Trump administration for colluding with Russia 

Ted KoppelEdit

special contributor, CBS News Sunday Morning

  1. (3/26/2017) Sean Hannity asked Ted Koppel, "You think I'm bad for America?" The answer will not surprise you 
    1. (3/28/2017) Apparently that wasn't Sean Hannity being owned by Ted Koppel on Sunday, it was some CBS produced hologram, because the real Sean Hannity just let out a barrage of tweets declaring it "Fake News" 
    2. (3/29/2017) Sean Hannity to Ted Koppel: No, u 

Jon LovettEdit

former Obama speechwriter

  1. (3/27/2017) Former speechwriter for Obama calls CNN a "Bullshiat factory," accuses them of putting on any Trump surrogate they can get no matter how ignorant 

Joy-Ann ReidEdit

MSNBC host

  1. (3/27/2017) "He is fine taking eyeglasses from children so he can pass a bill," an angry Joy Reid says of Paul Ryan and his ironic Ayn Rand philosophy. When will Republicans learn Rand was a welfare queen with terrible ideologies that would destroy America? 

60 MinutesEdit

  1. (3/27/2017) Lawyer who operates a fake-news website and spoke about how Pizzagate was real insists his fake news stories are "100 percent true" 

UnivisionEdit

  1. (3/27/2017) This just in, Congressional Republicans are shunning Univision, says anchor of popular show "Ninguna Mierda, Estúpido" 

April RyanEdit

correspondent, American Urban Radio Networks

    1. (3/29/2017) "The White House is frustrated like we've never seen before," says reporter after her tiff with Shouty Spice 
    2. (3/29/2017) Spicer astonished people are upset about how he treated April Ryan, noting that he acts like an asshole to everybody 

Palmer ReportEdit

  1. (3/29/2017) Palmer Report files the first "fake news" lawsuit. The courts will now decide if you can label another company's product as fraudulent without the facts to back up your claim 

Trevor NoahEdit

host of "The Daily Show"

  1. (3/29/2017) Trevor Noah announces the construction of "The Daily Show's Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library" 

Anonymous former Breitbart writerEdit

  1. (3/29/2017) Former writer for Breitbart reveals the company--and Bannon--violated laws by cutting deals with their landlord, a wealthy Egyptian. The conflict of interest continues 

NBC NewsEdit

  1. (3/30/2017) Here's a granular, 2016 precinct-level National electoral map. With 2012 and 2008 maps thrown in for comparative goodness 

Don LemonEdit

  1. (3/30/2017) Do not lie to Don Lemon. Don Lemon will expose your idiocy. Especially if said lie is claiming Russia helped the Clintons 

Major GarrettEdit

CBS News chief White House correspondent

  1. (3/31/2017) How to make Trump rage-quit an exec order signing ceremony. Step 1: have CBS' Major Garrett ask a question about Michael Flynn (skip video to 42:30) 

Los Angeles TimesEdit

  1. (4/2/2017) Part One of Four 
    1. (4/9/2017) An explanation of its Pres. Trump series by the LATimes editorial board. Article links to entire six part series of op-eds 

American ThinkerEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Nepotism is bad, but only when the person being nepoted is a liberal like Michelle Obama, one of Bill's brothers, or Jared Kushner 

VoxEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) If liberals want to enact single-payer healthcare, they just have to denounce single-payer healthcare 

Larry KingEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Suspender model Larry King says Donald Trump is "one of the most ridiculous presidents" he's ever seen. And considering he's been alive long enough to remember Taft, that's saying something 

Jedediah BilaEdit

former Fox News host

  1. (4/5/2017) Former Fox News host Jedediah Bila says she "was not given a pants option" 📺

John HarwoodEdit

chief Washington Correspondent, CNBC

  1. (4/6/2017) The Romero News Network reports that Trump's economic strategy sounds more like an infomercial than a real plan 

Van JonesEdit

CNN political commentator

  1. (4/6/2017) Trump spits in the faces of conservative women. No word if this is before or after he grabs them by the pussy 📢

Joan WalshEdit

National Affairs Correspondent, The Nation

  1. (4/8/2017) "It shouldn't be surprising, but it is to me nonetheless: Plenty of liberals who've long criticized Donald Trump as unfit to be president are praising his strike on Syrian airfields." Let's see who th-OHHH the DNC darlings, how unexpected Template:ShayratTemplate:LoyopTemplate:Murcn

The OnionEdit

  1. (4/7/2017) Trump is confident Syrian strikes wiped out the Russian Scandal 

Rick Wilson, Daily BeastEdit

national Republican political strategist, media consultant

  1. (4/10/2017) "The cancer in the presidency isn't his staff-though they reflect his shoddy intellect, his shallow impulsiveness, his loose grasp of reality, and Chinese-menu ideology. The problem is Trump himself, and nothing and no one can change that" 

David BoddigerEdit

writer, Fusion.com

  1. (4/10/2017) "The Trump administration has no idea what it's doing on Syria," says the headline that is two words too long 

Katy WaldmanEdit

staff writer, Slate

  1. (4/10/2017) When Trump or his allies says someone is "good people," they are usually bad people 

Bob CescaEdit

writer, Salon

  1. (4/11/2017) When can we start holding the NRA complicit for terror attacks like the one in San Bernardino? 

Alex PareeneEdit

Fusion.com

  1. (4/11/2017) Airlines treat you like garbage because capitalism only works in theory 👮

Bruce WrightEdit

International Business Times

  1. (4/12/2017) When you put all of Sean Spicer's lies, insults, and mistakes together in a timeline, it really makes you wonder how he's managed to hold onto his job this long 

CNN, MSNBC "Chyron" writers/fact checkersEdit

  1. (4/12/2017) Nazi Spice's Holocaust comments were almost immediately derailed in real-time by chyrons, the "BREAKING NEWS" ticket that networks use to say things like "Note: HITLER GASSED MILLIONS" 

Chauncey DeVegaEdit

writer, Salon

  1. (4/12/2017) Attention confused liberals: You are the punchline. Trump voters love him because it makes you upset. That's it. It's that simple. They hate you, and they will happily let Trump kill them because they know it makes your eyeball twitch. The End Template:Stigg

Osita NwanevuEdit

Slate editorial assistant

  1. (4/12/2017) Donald Trump: Remembers what flavor of cake he had but not which country he bombed 

Steve BenenEdit

MSNBC contributor, producer "The Rachel Maddow Show"

    1. (4/13/2017) Rarely is the question asked: is our President learning? 

Luke Harding, Stephanie Kirchgaessner and Nick HopkinsEdit

reporters for The Guardian

    1. (4/13/2017) British intelligence services knew about the Trump campaign's Russian connections and passed info on to the US. Oh, and so did the Australians. And the Germans. And the French, Dutch and Polish. And the Estonians 
      1. (4/13/2017) Investigators now have "concrete evidence" of collusion between Trump campaign and Russia 

Ashley FeinbergEdit

senior reporter for the Special Projects Desk, @ the Gizmodo.com family of tubes

    1. (4/13/2017) Since we can't afford to buy politicians internet browsing history, let's see what Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-uberjaeger) is up to the apparent online handle he uses on several sites is "uberjaeger"

Noah MillmanEdit

The Week

    1. (4/14/2017) Populist presidents inevitably betray their voter base and supporters. Trump is no exception 🐆

James D. ZirinEdit

Time Magazine

  1. (4/14/2017) Meet the man who inspired and fueled Trump's paranoia "demonizing his enemies; fabricating claims out of whole cloth; relying on conspiracy theories; expressing suspicion that others are out to get him, including the intelligence agencies, the FBI, Obama (with unsupported allegations of wiretapping), and the media; pandering to anger and fear in the populace; gross exaggeration, and distortion; xenophobia, racism, and let’s not forget misogyny"

Heather TimmonsEdit

White House correspondent, Quartz.com

    1. (4/15/2017) Having recently awakened from a coma, on Mars, in a cave, an astute journalist has noticed that perhaps maybe, just maybe the President shouldn't be sending out hallucinatory tweets at 6am Template:Late🍼

Philip BumpEdit

National correspondent, Washington Post

  1. (4/17/2017) In what is totally not a conflict of interests, Trump is seemingly splitting his time between two jobs: serving as president of the United States and acting as owner/host of Mar-a-Lago 

Rebecca BallhausEdit

Washington, D.C. bureau reporter, Wall Street Journal

  1. (4/17/2017) You know what isn't complicated? Money laundering Template:Laund

Paul WaldmanEdit

contributor, The Week

  1. (4/17/2017) "But a few months into the Trump presidency, we haven't seen too much in the way of deals. As a matter of fact, we haven't seen any deals, at least not any of consequence. Is it possible that Donald Trump was never such a great dealmaker?" 

Jefferson MorleyEdit

AlterNet.com

  1. (4/18/2017) Trump's deep ties to organized crime 

Wall Street JournalEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Exxon, which until recently was run by Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, has applied for a waiver to do business with Russia, which is currently run by Tillerson's boss applied for a Treasury Department waiver to resume work with the Russia oil giant PAO Rosneft in areas covered by sanctionsTemplate:Qpq

David BrooksEdit

conservative political and cultural commentator, The New York Times

  1. (4/18/2017) Come for the upcoming incompetence crisis, stay for the writer's break down as of April 7, 2017, only 22 of 553 positions requiring Senate confirmation have been filled

Mark HillEdit

columnist, editor and interviewer for Cracked.com

  1. (4/19/2017) "What's that old saying? 'Those who don't learn from history are doomed to draw tortured parallels to score cheap points on social media in lieu of actually addressing modern problems?'" Template:Godw

Bloomberg NewsEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Stop me if you've heard this one before. So a Trump cabinet secretary and a Russian billionaire walk into a business deal together 🏪

Shane BauerEdit

senior reporter, Mother Jones

  1. (4/19/2017) So what happens when you go undercover with Neo-Nazis marching in Berkeley? Oh dear. FARK: And the police shrug Template:Astro

Christina WilkieEdit

political reporter based in Washington DC, The Huffington Post

  1. (4/20/2017) Trump's Inaugural Committee paperwork received large donations from non-existent addresses. Feel ambitious? campfin{{}}
    1. (4/25/2017) Those apparently non-existent donors and fake addresses that appear in the Trump Inauguration Committee FEC filing? Just 'Technical glitches" and they'll file an amended report just as soon as they get the list faked...er, they mean FIXED, fixed up 

Keith OlbermannEdit

where ever he's working, it won't be for long

  1. (4/20/2017) Keith Olbermann says he always knew Bill O'Reilly was a menace 📢👙

Time MagazineEdit

with Henry Kissinger

  1. (4/21/2017) Good News for Jared Kushner: You made the Time "100 most influential people" list. Bad News: Your write up was done by no less than Henry Kissinger himself, and, he is NOT a fan 🌅

Phillip CarterEdit

senior fellow at the Center for a New American Security and adjunct professor of law at Georgetown University

  1. (4/21/2017) This might shock you, but in Trump's White House there is no clear chain of command as no one knows who's really in charge Template:Gopgov

Eugene RobinsonEdit

columnist, former assistant managing editor of The Washington Post

  1. (4/21/2017) Words you don't want to describe your health care plan: "Comically bad" 

MarketWatch.comEdit

  1. (4/21/2017) Coincidentally, the Medical device maker that Health & Human Services secretary invested in (and has yet to divest from) stands to benefit greatly from a new Medicare payment proposal issued by his department Price owns shares in Zimmer Biomet Holdings Inc., which make parts for ankle replacement surgeries, on average 60% increase from Medicare under new proposalTemplate:Confl

Washington ExaminerEdit

  1. (4/21/2017) Whiny liberal MSM media still complaining about the "excessive costs" of Trump's weekend getaways. Wait, it's the Washington Examiner? Oh dear Template:WhiteTemplate:Golf

Hamilton NolanEdit

Senior Writer, Fusion.com

  1. (4/21/2017) Why is money you make for literally doing nothing taxed at a lower rate than money you earn for working? 

Steven PearlsteinEdit

columnist, Washington Post

  1. (4/21/2017) "What happens if the President doesn't matter?" In the current White House, lots of fussing, crying, tweeting, and bombing of random countries Template:PetuTemplate:Gopgov

The Arizona RepublicEdit

  1. (4/22/2017) Turns out Trump was right about some protestors being paid. Only problem is, the paid protestors they could find were being paid by Republicans. (sad trombone) Template:Astro

Matthew RozsaEdit

breaking news writer, Salon.com

  1. (4/20/2017) Fox News staffers worry that O'Reilly's departure is just the beginning, unintentionally admitting that there are other sexual predators at Fox News 👙Template:Boys
  2. (4/22/2017) The Romero Institute of Political Science wonders if Obama's first 100 days were better than Trump's 

Juliana Rose PignataroEdit

breaking news and science reporter, International Business Times

  1. (4/22/2017) A look at the travel cost of Trump's 100 days ... 25 of which were spent in Mar-a-Lago Template:White

Associated PressEdit

  1. (4/23/2017) Trump 3 months ago: Oh, the first 100 days I'll get so much done you just won't believe it. There'll be so much winning. Trump now: The first 100 days? Really kind of meaningless when you think about it Template:Aspd
    1. (4/24/2017) Your Presidential quote of the day: "I gave Face the Nation highest ratings since the World Trade Center came down" 📰
    2. (4/24/2017) AP releases transcript of their latest Trump interview. Come for the early onset Alzheimer's, stay for the early onset Alzheimer's. While we're on the topic, did you hear the AP released the transcript of their latest Trump interview? 💣
      1. (4/25/2017) Donald Trump is like Aqua Teen Hunger Force: He will never make sense, but if you listen long enough, you'll start to understand him 
    3. (4/26/2017) God help us all if this is an exercise to prepare Trump for the real thing 

Jay NordlingerEdit

senior editor, National Review and book fellow, National Review Institute

  1. (4/24/2017) Conservative blogger reminisces about bashing Obama for golfing so much, totaling the millions of taxpayer dollars Obama spent on family vacations, counting how often he said "I" or "me" in speeches. Then a miracle occurs 

Ulrich BaerEdit

professor of German and Comparative Literature, NYU

  1. (4/24/2017) NY Times: People whose views we don't like shouldn't have the right to free speech - for that they are free to create a blog Template:1stTemplate:Snow

Osita NwanevuEdit

editorial assistant, Slate

  1. (4/25/2017) Is the Senate dragging its feet investigating Russia and the election? Template:Drag

Tim MakEdit

Senior Correspondent, The Daily Beast

  1. (4/25/2017) Is the Senate dragging its feet investigating Russia and the election? Template:Drag

Lindy WestEdit

Seattle-based writer, editor and performer

  1. (4/25/2017) 100 days of gibberish - Trump has weaponised nonsense. Beware the power of the bullshiat pulpit 

Ryan CooperEdit

national correspondent, TheWeek.com

  1. (4/25/2017) The road to Hell is paved with means-testing. Meanwhile, the road to Heaven is covered with single-payer health care, tuition-free college, and puppies for all Template:47pc

Mara LiassonEdit

national political correspondent, NPR

  1. (4/25/2017) Almost 100 days into his presidency, we still don't have a really good idea of how to define "Trumpism." Actually, subby has a really good idea of how to define it, but the Fark filters won't let me use most of those words in my headline Template:Legcy

Standing Committee of CorrespondentsEdit

supervises the US Senate Daily Press Gallery?s operations, upholds rules and approves applications for credentials to cover both houses of Congress

  • the 5 Standing Committee members are elected to 2-year terms by credentialed reporters
  • applicants for credentials must reveal financial and ownership information to ensure that the news outlet isn?t tied to any special interest group that might be lobbying within the halls of Congress
  1. (4/25/2017) Drew's friends' favorite website denied Capitol Hill press credentials. Guess we'll see more links to it in the future committee declined to extend temporary passes for Breitbart beyond their May 31, 2017 expiration date; also noted that Bannon?s White House financial disclosure included a different date of his separation from Breitbart than CEO Larry Solov had originally indicatedTemplate:Confl

Amy DavidsonEdit

staff writer, New Yorker

  1. (4/25/2017) Donald Trump is like Aqua Teen Hunger Force: He will never make sense, but if you listen long enough, you'll start to understand him 

Jonathan EasleyEdit

staff writer, The Hill.com

  1. (4/25/2017) Conservative and Alt-right media figures say they were disappointed with their private lunch with President Trump, in no small part because he COMPLETELY failed to strangle a "liberal" with his bare hands, rip out his liver and eat in front of them Template:Trip

Harry EntenEdit

senior political writer and analyst, FiveThirtyEight

  1. (4/25/2017) Forget approval ratings, you have to watch generic ballot polls to understand how much people hate Trump Template:2018e

Callum BorchersEdit

writer, Washington Post

  • accused counselor to the president, Kellyanne Conway, of having a three-step process for deflecting a question she doesn't know the answer to:
1. paraphrase something Trump has said
2. use a banal phrase
3. change the subject
  1. (4/26/2017) It's looking more and more like Kellyanne Conway is not going to win 'Celebrity White House Apprentice' 

Mike AllenEdit

co-founder of Axios; co-founder of Politico

  1. (4/26/2017) Ivanka Trump is starting her own foundation and is now accepting Czechs Template:Confl👌

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFAEdit

the greatest living American

  1. (4/26/2017) Colbert gives us a rundown of Trump's first hundred days Template:Dstc

Dan RatherEdit

journalist

  1. (4/26/2017) Having solved the Kenneth Frequency mystery, Dan Rather is back and is taking aim at Trump 

Michelle GoldbergEdit

columnist, Slate

  1. (4/27/2017) Democrats have a duty to investigate every single instance of Trump's scandals 

Thomas FrankEdit

political analyst and historian; author, "Listen, Liberal"

  1. (4/27/2017) "The wreckage that you see every day as you tour [the Midwest is the utterly predictable fruit of the Democratic party's neoliberal turn"] Template:2018sTemplate:Usmfg

Seth AbramsonEdit

freelance journalist, @SethAbramson

  1. (4/27/2017) Why did Carter Page agree to a confidentiality agreement with Russia? tweeted "BREAKING: Carter Page reveals that Russians swore him (and J.D. Gordon) to secrecy regarding their RNC conversation"Template:Page


Disney/ABCEdit

Jimmy KimmelEdit

comedian; host, Jimmy Kimmel Show

  1. (5/2/2017) And the biggest dick of the day award goes to Template:Hwood
    1. (5/5/2017) Congratulations to Jimmy Kimmel, you've managed to remind at least one senator that a fetus' life continues after birth 
    2. (5/5/2017) Jonah Goldberg at National Review warning about the dangers of empathy Template:WfbuckTemplate:ApolTemplate:Ayn

JezebelEdit

Big Time-Small Time DicksEdit

  1. (5/5/2017) Not news: site dedicated to outing bad politicians in smaller communities. Fark: it's called Big Time-Small Time Dicks. Difficulty: It's from Jezebel Template:Local🇨

FreelancersEdit

Laurelai BaileyEdit

former security researcher, independent journalist

  1. (5/2/2017) Spicer tweeted his bitcoin address, not a password Template:WishTemplate:Btc

Matthew InmanEdit

The Oatmeal

  1. (5/4/2017) You're not going to believe this, Republibros and Clintrumpistas, but this is how the backfire effect works Template:MythTemplate:CbiasTemplate:Backeff

WHCDEdit

White House Correspondents Dinner

  1. Vanity Fair, New Yorker back out of White House Correspondents' Association events after deciding this is not for them
  2. CNN considers skipping White House correspondents' dinner because they'll be too busy creating "fake news"
    1. Trump still has flashbacks to getting his ass handed to him the last time he went
  3. The last president to skip the White House Correspondents' Dinner only did so because he'd just been shot in the chest. And he still picked up the phone and called in
  4. Alec Baldwin is very open to the idea of playing Trump at the annual White House Press Correspondents' dinner, in fact, he's actually lobbying for the position
  5. (3/29/2017) White House staff announce they will sit out the Correspondent's Dinner as a show of solidarity with Trump. Makes you wonder if it was by choice or threat 
  6. (4/22/2017) Trump to hold rally on night of correspondents dinner because that'll make Trump feel better and then nobody will watch it on TV mainly because it's not broadcast. That'll fix 'em Template:Astro

White House Correspondents' AssociationEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) Drew's friends' favorite website denied Capitol Hill press credentials. Guess we'll see more links to it in the future committee declined to extend temporary passes for Breitbart beyond their May 31, 2017 expiration date; also noted that Bannon's White House financial disclosure included a different date of his separation from Breitbart than CEO Larry Solov had originally indicatedTemplate:Confl


CorporationsEdit

Alphabet/GoogleEdit

  1. In a move that will rustle no jimmies whatsoever, Google Doodle remembers Fred Korematsu this morning
  2. Do evil

BudweiserEdit

  1. America The Beer prepares to be deported on Sunday
    1. Trump supporters want to boycott Budweiser because new commercial portrays immigrant founder in a positive fashion

Harley DavidsonEdit

  1. Harley Davidson to Trump, "Everyone hates you and if you come to our factory they'll hate us"

TwitterEdit

  1. Twitter sending 159 million characters to ACLU

Nordstrom'sEdit

  1. Nordstrom to Ivanka Trump's fashion line: You're fired
    1. White House press secretary Spicer announces Nordstrom's decision to drop Ivanka Trump's fashion line is a direct attack on the President. Coming up next: USA declares war on Nordstrom
    2. Nordstrom stock jumps after Trump tantrum
    3. The liberal boycott of Ivanka's clothing line was an outstanding success; best performing weeks in the history of the brand

Blizzard EntertainmentEdit

  1. Blizzard Entertainment criticizes Trump over travel ban, insists only they know how to properly throw a ban hammer

Marshall's, Neiman Marcus, TJ MaxxEdit

  1. Ivanka Trump's merchandise available at T.J. Maxx trashbins near you
    1. The liberal boycott of Ivanka's clothing line was an outstanding success; best performing weeks in the history of the brand

xHamsterEdit

  1. When your state thinks even opt-in sex ed is too much, Porn to the rescue

Various RestaurantsEdit

  1. Not news: There is now a "The Donald" sandwich, which consists of two slices of moist, wonderful, white bread, a yuge slab of bologna, and a slice of American cheese. Fark: Its creator is a Republican immigrant that has strongly opposed Donnie JT
  2. Seattle sandwich shop channels its future public school education to welcome Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education
  3. Tired of President Trump headlines? Sit down and try some of this creative pizza

Sears/K-MartEdit

  1. Kmart, Sears shelves become even more bare as they too drop Ivanka Trump merchandise
    1. The liberal boycott of Ivanka's clothing line was an outstanding success; best performing weeks in the history of the brand

Burlington Coat FactoryEdit

  1. Burlington Coat Factory becomes the latest discount retailer to drop Ivanka Trump's overpriced fashion line
    1. The liberal boycott of Ivanka's clothing line was an outstanding success; best performing weeks in the history of the brand

Under ArmorEdit

  1. Under Armor CEO takes out full page ad so that there's no confusion as to how he feels about Trump's policies

dating app HaterEdit

  1. Q: What's better than a giant image projected in NYC showing Putin lovingly spooning a very pregnant Trump? A: Nothing. Absolutely nothing

United AirlinesEdit

  1. Odd: United Airlines passengers rejoicing. Awesome: Because the flight crew kicked two feral Trumpers off the plane for harassing a Pakistani couple. (w/video)

Cards Against HumanityEdit

  1. Cards Against Humanity creator sends a copy of new game Secret Hitler to each senator, so they can practice helping/hindering the rise of the next great dictator

FacebookEdit

  1. Facebook is marking InfoWars links as "spam", regardless of whether Alex Jones appears shirtless

McDonald'sEdit

  1. McDonald's Corporate Twitter account calls Trump "a disgusting excuse of a President." Wow, guess they are still really bitter about that whole "bucket of KFC chicken" photo op during the campaign


Democratic StrategyEdit

  1. (4/21/2017) Democrats may finally break through in Texas, thanks to Donald Trump. This is not a repeat from that other article in 2016 that claimed pretty much the same thing, but it at least shows that the WAPO hasn't learned a thing since then 


Not HelpingEdit

  1. Anti-Trump protestors in New Haven show their class by blocking an ambulance from getting to the hospital

Bill MaherEdit

  1. Bill Maher takes full credit for the fall of Milo Yiannopoulos
    1. Bill Maher, in taking credit for Milo's downfall, says "Sunlight is the best disinfectant". If that's the case, here's a bit of sunlight for Maher where he argued pretty much the same thing as MIlo
    2. The awfulness of Bill Maher

"Lucy"Edit

creator of KittenFeed.com

  1. Having solved all the nation's problems and secured his legacy, President Trump turns his sights on teen who created website where you can punch Trump's face using a cat's paw
    1. (3/29/2017) Remember the story about Trump's lawyers going after a 17-year-old girl who runs a cat website? Well, about that 

Louise MenschEdit

the Alex Jones of the left[3]

  1. (4/25/2017) Is the Senate dragging its feet investigating Russia and the election? Template:Drag




See AlsoEdit

External LinksEdit



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