A compilation of Fark threads related to the dumpster fire that is the administration of the 45th President of the United States of America.

Head ToupeeEdit


This section will provide the many nicknames this asshole has earned, with credit when known. They are in approximate order of appearance on the internet.

For the full, categorized list, please visit this page

  1. short-fingered vulgarian (Spy magazine's Graydon Carter and Kurt Andersen)
  2. tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon (@MetalOllie via Twitter)
  3. Flim Flam Führer
  4. Deadbeat Donnie
  5. President Joffrey
  6. Cheeto Supreme
  7. fecal fingered Caligula
  8. Orange Mugabe
  9. Marmalade Mussulini
  10. Dynamite Shitgibbon
  11. Boss Tweet
  12. Trumplethinskin
  13. Kim Jong Trump
  14. President Asterisk
  15. President Daddy
  16. Prince Trumperdink (Carey Elwes)
  17. President Breaking Wind (Sir Ian McKellen via Twitter)
  19. hairsprayed huckster
  20. Cheeto Guevera
  21. our national disgrace
  22. President Cheetolicious[1]
  23. Super Callous Fragile Racist Sexist Nazi POTUS[2][3]
  24. Tangerine gabshite walloper Lorna Wallace, of Kilmarnock in Scotland


  1. Trumpsplain

Executive Meaningless Displays of Power or Just Plain Evil or Stupid ShitEdit

  • January, 2017

Executive OrdersEdit

  1. In his first act as President, Trump cancels planned mortgage insurance rate reduction, costing new FHA homeowners $500/year
  2. Women rush to get IUDs because of Trump. Most of them work at the White House
  3. Trump poised to sign executive order making it perfectly legal for him to 'disappear' people in CIA black-ops prisons, and do so without any oversight, due process, or international Red Cross monitoring. Be careful what you post here, comrades
  4. John McCain will fight Trump on torture. But nothing else, of course
  5. To the nations of the world -- we are more than happy to welcome your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. But if it's all the same -- you can just keep the deadbeats and reprobates -- and the people who want to blow us up
  6. Trump's appointed Secretary of Defense and CIA Director blindsided by draft of executive order requiring the CIA to revisit using torture. I don't blame them, there are only so many tweets one can keep track off
  7. Trump's latest executive order effectively stops US-based online companies from operating in the EU
  8. If you thought Trump's executive order directing the Defense Department to hit ISIS harder than it already is was a bit vague, well, you are not alone
  9. Steve Bannon personally overruled DHS decision not to include green card holders in travel ban, overruling lawyers and other people who understand things like The Constitution and laws and human rights

Fiddling with foreign relationsEdit

This section has become too large, hence it has been given its own page

Executive griftingEdit


  1. Redesigned White House website plugs Melania Trump's QVC jewelry line (Not safe for work images in comment section below article)

Financial Crimes Enforcement Network's (FinCEN) geographic targeting order (GTO)Edit

federal program to investigate using luxury real estate to launder money set to expire February 23, 2017

  1. As if they even had to ask

Taxes ReturnsEdit

Release OfEdit

Avoiding Release OfEdit

  1. Petition on calling for Trump to release his tax returns has 250,000 signatures. That means he's got to release them, right?
  2. Kellyanne Conway states Trump will release his taxes after previously stating he will not release his taxes, in stunning display of Alternative Tax Facts
  3. Wikileaks now offering to post Trump's tax returns
    1. Trump will continue to not release his tax returns because he never said he would release his taxes. These are the alternative facts as presented by George Orwell's Kellyanne Conway


  1. "We are three days into the administration and the Trump White House leaks not so much like a sieve as a bucket with no bottom"
  2. An alleged mid-level White House staffer tweeted some of the things he's heard going on in the West Wing this week. The account has since been deleted
  3. Leaked memo from the EPA reveals no one at the agency--including its new director--knows what the hell is going on with the agency now that Trump's in charge of everything


Possible Russian Interference Of 2016 POTUS ElectionEdit

  1. FBI and 5 other agencies investigating possible financial support from Kremlin to the Trump Campaign. *rubs hands together* ...It begins
  2. While Trump is busy at the inauguration ceremony, US Intelligence officials will be analyzing intercepted communications and financial transactions between Russian officials and the Trump campaign


This section will include all Fark threads related to crimes committed by the Head Toupee

  1. If you had 'Second Day' in your office pool for 'How long into his presidency before Trump violates Presidential Records Act,' step up and claim your prize
  2. The cyber security company head arrested for treason in Russia was actually a U.S. spy, and was compromised in September before his arrest. Gee, I wonder what happened in the U.S. in September that could have caused that information leak to Russia
    1. Law and Order candidate refuses to obey law or order. DUN DUN

Conflicts of InterestEdit

This section will include all Fark threads related to conflicts of interest this asshole has himself entangled in

  1. NYT publishes damning look at Trump's conflicts of interest. Trump: "Hey, everyone, look over here at my batshiat insane recount tweets until this blows over"
  2. The ACLU is the first out of the gate to tilt at the windmills
  3. Redesigned White House website plugs Melania Trump's QVC jewelry line (Not safe for work images in comment section below article)
  4. Trump already setting records as President, with two ethics violation complaints filed against him within his first six hours
  5. Wikileaks now offering to post Trump's tax returns
    1. Trump will continue to not release his tax returns because he never said he would release his taxes. These are the alternative facts as presented by George Orwell's Kellyanne Conway
  6. It's not illegal for Donald Trump to hire his son-in-law as an advisor because reasons
  7. Trump Hotels has decided that just right now is great time to launch an expansion aimed at tripling the number of hotels they have. Look for the exicting new Trump Conflict of Interest line of Hotels to start opening next fall
    1. If you thought that Trump could sever all of his business ties then this should quell that idea pretty quickly


  1. Trump drops plan to negotiate drug prices after meeting with Big Pharma lobbyists


This section will include all Fark threads related to lawsuits filed against the Head Toupee

  1. Remember during the Clinton years when conservatives fought an won a long legal battle arguing that the President is not immune from responding to lawsuits while in office? They are about to REALLY regret that
  2. Trump sued over violating the emoluments clause
    1. How can you tell when the Donald and his Chief of Staff are Lying? They make a face made famous by Newt Gingrich when he was Lying his ass off, and being called on it
    2. Shocking news to liberals: Owning a profitable business that does business world-wide does not constitute an emolument. Just ask the first five presidents, who owned farms and plantations
    3. Trump held a press conference to say he was divesting from his businesses, but nobody ever got around to telling the ethics office that

Removal from OfficeEdit

25th Amendment SolutionEdit

  1. Social media postings from the official US Department of Defense accounts sometimes provide an important window into a person's #mentalhealth. Know what to look for
  2. Psychologists say Trump exhibits classic signs of mental illness, including "malignant narcissism"

Emoluments ClauseEdit

  1. Trump sued over violating the emoluments clause


  1. President Trump finally gives reason for the GOP to go ahead with impeachment proceedings


To view the names and eventual scandals/crimes/general instances of incompetence associated with these assholes, please see this page

See AlsoEdit

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