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This page is a compilation of Fark threads related to the dumpster fire that is the worthless advisors to the 45th President of the United States of America.

This page is for the current month, June, 2017
To view previous months, check out the archive
To view the crap Vladimir Cheeto is up to click here, to see what his cabinet is up to click here


General Institutional FuckeryEdit

  1. (5/10/2017) With Comey finally out of the way and the FBI adrift at sea, Donald Trump can finally get back to the things that are truly important, like resuming his meetings with the Russians from the Steele Dossier Template:Wish
  2. (5/10/2017) Senate Intelligence Committee asks for all the pertinent financial data from Trump's entire transition team Template:SubpeoTemplate:NooseTemplate:Drip
  3. (5/12/2017) Former KGB spy says that the Trump administration is incompetent, also notes that water is wet, and the sun is bright Jack Barsky, the former KGB spy told CNN's Don Lemon, "I'm shaking my head at the incompetence of the Trump staff. The staff are supposed to protect the integrity of the White House ... The wheels are coming off. It's mind boggling."

Overzealous Staffer(s)Edit

Open Position(s)Edit

White House Chief UsherEdit

  1. (5/5/2017) White House fires Usher, which is what you get when you introduce Justin Bieber to the world Angella Reid, former chief usher, White House 2011-2017Template:Stigg

ResignationsEdit

New HiresEdit

Vladimir PutinEdit

Russian President and videotape archivist

  1. (5/4/2017) "A coalition of former military leaders who were in charge of nukes have formed a "shadow security council" to advise world leaders on how to reduce the growing danger of nuclear war fueled by the rhetoric of Trump and destabilizing moves by Putin" "Things are heating up but I think it is pretty clear [Trump] is not equipped to handle those flash points," Derek Johnson, executive director, Global Zero, the Nuclear Crisis Group's predecessor, "[t]here's a real diplomatic and analytical vacuum that has to be filled"Template:IntorgTemplate:NukewTemplate:Esca💣Template:Dip

Putin's PosseEdit

To view all the Fark threads discussing the connections between Trump and the Russians, please visit this page

Roy CohnEdit

Special Advisor to the President in Charge of Paranoia

LobbyistsEdit

Corey LewandowskiEdit

former campaign chief, current lobbyist

  1. (5/5/2017) Corey Lewandowski, the living embodiment of conflict of interest, quits his lobbying firm Template:LobbyTemplate:Confl🏪Template:Drip

Avenue StrategiesEdit

lobbying firm founded by two former Trump aides: Corey Lewandowski and Barry Bennett

  1. (5/5/2017) Corey Lewandowski, the living embodiment of conflict of interest, quits his lobbying firm Template:LobbyTemplate:Confl🏪Template:Drip

Washington East West Political StrategiesEdit

short-lived off-shoot of Avenue Strategies created for prospective Eastern European clients; partners included an Azerbaijani oil executive and an American political consultant who works extensively in Russia

  1. (5/5/2017) Corey Lewandowski, the living embodiment of conflict of interest, quits his lobbying firm Template:LobbyTemplate:Confl🏪Template:Drip

Former Trump Campaign Staff cum LobbyistsEdit

Bryan LanzaEdit

former deputy communications director for Trump2016

Mike BiundoEdit

senior adviser for Trump2016

Brad GerstmanEdit

partner at Gotham Government Relations & Communications, the NY firm worked on Trump's 2015 campaign announcement


NRAEdit

National Rifle Association

  1. (5/1/2017) God, Guns, and the GRU: Making Amerika Great Again 🐑Template:GopvalTemplate:Drip
    claimed [Obama's sanction order following Russia?s invasion of Ukraine] has "long been used by the executive branch as a means of unilaterally enacting gun control"

Chris CoxEdit

chief lobbyist, NRA

National Milk Producers FederationEdit

proper Murican milk sellers, not those damn milk-in-a-bag freaks


Special White House Office of NepotismEdit

(for Ivanka and her husband, please see the "Commissars" section below)

Donald Trump, Jr.Edit

America's Uday, Executive VP of Development and Acquisitions, Trump Organization

  • "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia"

Eric TrumpEdit

"I'm Eric!"

  1. (5/8/2017) What is said on the golf course, stays on the golf course, except when it's Eric Trump bragging about how the Russians helped them bankroll their North Carolina course, and how they 'go there all the time.' Golly-gosh that's such a coincidence Template:ErictTemplate:Golf🏪Template:Sink
    1. (5/8/2017) Eric Trump denies saying something he said back in 2014 about Russian money comments to New York Post: "It’s a recollection from some guy three years ago through a third person"; "We own our courses free and clear"; "We have zero ties to Russian investors"; described the report as "categorically untrue" and "complete garbage"Template:ErictTemplate:Golf🏪Template:Sink

Tiffany TrumpEdit

Barron TrumpEdit

Leave Barron alone.


CommissarsEdit

Ivanka TrumpEdit

Ms. Violation of Multiple Federal Statutes

  1. (5/3/2017) Ivanka, supposed supporter of extending paid maternity leave, told her former company's pregnant employees to get back to work a mere week after delivery back in 2013. My how things change in four years Template:Trump👑
  2. (5/3/2017) How to identify every anonymous "Senior White House official". No, not by smell Template:Bts
  3. (5/3/2017) Donald and Ivanka, still pimping a Philippine condo project "[the Manila project] is inconsistent with how the US has been relating to Duterte since he came to power. But it is consistent with what is important to Donald Trump."Template:ConflTemplate:Pilip😛Template:Trump
  4. (5/5/2017) State Department retweets positive mention of Ivanka's book, then deletes it because someone pointed out it was a massive conflict of interest Template:ConflTemplate:Shill
  5. (5/9/2017) House Speaker Paul Ryan will stop by a Harlem charter school today. Let's see how many boos he gets from traditional city public school protesters outside Ryan is scheduled to visit Harlem Success Academy Charter School on W. 118th St., New York; Ivanka Trump visited same school in February, 2017Template:Stunt
  6. (5/13/2017) Unlike his ego, Trump's inner circle is rapidly shrinking Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, campaign spokeswoman, Hope Hicks and longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller👑Template:GopgovTemplate:Noose

Jared KushnerEdit

Son-in-law

  1. (5/3/2017) How to identify every anonymous "Senior White House official". No, not by smell Template:Bts
  2. (5/13/2017) Unlike his ego, Trump's inner circle is rapidly shrinking Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, campaign spokeswoman, Hope Hicks and longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller👑Template:GopgovTemplate:Noose

Beny SteinmetzEdit

co-founder, Hermitage Capital, a Russian hedge fund firm

  • currently under investigation in the US, Guinea, Israel and Switzerland for different briberies
  • provided funding to Kushner Companies for downpayments on $190 million in purchases in NYC in 2012

Kushner CompaniesEdit

Kushner family real estate firm; received funding from Steinmetz for downpayments on $190 million in purchases in NYC in 2012

Independent Journal ReviewEdit

founded by former Republican party staffers Alex Skatell and Phil Musser in 2012

America First PoliciesEdit

"capture all people who believe in the Trump agenda"

  • Rick Gates, former deputy campaign manager
  • Brad Parscale, Trump's digital and data director
  • Nick Ayers, Pence campaign advisor
  • Marty Obst, Pence campaign advisor
    • David Bossie
    • Katrina Pierson

Joint Chiefs of StaffEdit

Special White House Think Tanks and Working GroupsEdit

Trump OrganizationEdit

  1. (5/5/2017) State Department retweets positive mention of Ivanka's book, then deletes it because someone pointed out it was a massive conflict of interest Template:ConflTemplate:Shill
  2. (5/8/2017) What is said on the golf course, stays on the golf course, except when it's Eric Trump bragging about how the Russians helped them bankroll their North Carolina course, and how they 'go there all the time.' Golly-gosh that's such a coincidence Template:ErictTemplate:Golf🏪Template:Sink
    1. (5/8/2017) Eric Trump denies saying something he said back in 2014 about Russian money comments to New York Post: "It’s a recollection from some guy three years ago through a third person"; "We own our courses free and clear"; "We have zero ties to Russian investors"; described the report as "categorically untrue" and "complete garbage"Template:ErictTemplate:Golf🏪Template:Sink
  3. (5/10/2017) Trump is such a yuuuuge titan in business, his Taj Mahal casino just sold for 4 cents on the dollar Template:Trump
  4. (5/9/2017) Trump's security and travel costs now reach $40 million, making him the most expensive president in US history, Secret Service protects him, the first lady, five children, their three spouses and eight grandchildren. And four separate residences Template:White

Manila ProjectEdit

Trump's company does not own or invest in the Manila project; will only receive royalties for use of the Trump brand as part of the long-term licensing deal with Century Properties Group

  1. (5/3/2017) Donald and Ivanka, still pimping a Philippine condo project "[the Manila project] is inconsistent with how the US has been relating to Duterte since he came to power. But it is consistent with what is important to Donald Trump."Template:ConflTemplate:Pilip😛Template:Trump

Amanda MillerEdit

vice president of marketing, Trump Organization promotional materials for Trump Tower Manila featuring President Trump and White House Special Advisor Ivanka Trump were "historical clips" and just recently removed at press time

Keith SchillerEdit

director, Oval Office operations; former detective, NYPD; Trump's former bodyguard

  • hand-delivered the White House's letter to the FBI terminating FBI director James Comey
  1. (5/10/2017) And the first Republican Senator calling for a special investigation has hit the White House Senator John McCain (R AZ): Trump's decision to fire Comey "only confirms the need and the urgency of such a committee"Template:Acf
  2. (5/13/2017) Unlike his ego, Trump's inner circle is rapidly shrinking Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, campaign spokeswoman, Hope Hicks and longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller👑Template:GopgovTemplate:Noose

Nuclear Crisis GroupEdit

a so-called "shadow security council" made up of nearly two dozen former military leaders and diplomats who had responsibility over nuclear weapons from at least 8 different countries, who will offer public and private advice in real time to world leaders in the hopes of reducing the chances of nuclear confrontation

  1. (5/4/2017) "A coalition of former military leaders who were in charge of nukes have formed a "shadow security council" to advise world leaders on how to reduce the growing danger of nuclear war fueled by the rhetoric of Trump and destabilizing moves by Putin" "Things are heating up but I think it is pretty clear [Trump] is not equipped to handle those flash points," Derek Johnson, executive director, Global Zero, the Nuclear Crisis Group's predecessor, "[t]here's a real diplomatic and analytical vacuum that has to be filled"Template:IntorgTemplate:NukewTemplate:Esca💣Template:Dip

White House Office of American InnovationEdit

the group aims to develop fresh solutions to persistent problems afflicting American society

  • director Jared Kushner

Financial Stability Oversight CouncilEdit

created by the Dodd-Frank Wall Street reform law

  • chairman Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin

Climate Leadership CouncilEdit

Members include:

  • former Secretary of State James Baker III
  • former Secretary of State George Schultz
  • former Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson

Strategic Initiatives GroupEdit

created by Bannon and Kushner to work on issues of foreign policy decisions and national strategy and security; possibly duplicating the work of the National Security Council

  • members include Sebastian Gorka

White House Military OfficeEdit

carries and safeguards the "nuclear football"; provides secure communications for the President at all times as well as military support for all White House functions, including food service, presidential transportation, medical support, emergency medical services, and hospitality services

  1. (5/5/2017) New essay question for the FARK Law GED exam: Is it an emolument if a Trump tenant sublets to the DoD? Show your work/argument to the right Template:Trump
    1. (5/6/2017) Taxpayers to pay over $1million/year to rent an apartment from Trump Tower NY for the "nuclear football." Bonus: DOD unaware how Trump might benefit Template:Trump

Commission on Combatting Drug Addiction and the Opioid CrisisEdit

new addiction task force to help combat the opioid crisis commissioned by President Trump; Governor Chris Christie (R NJ) to lead

  1. (5/6/2017) Is it me, or did Trump just end the war on drugs and focus his 'Drug Czar' on serious addictions - like opiods? You'd think many on the left would cheer this news but ::Crickets: Barry R. McCaffrey, 'Drug Czar' 1996 - 2001: "It sends a terrible message. Why send this bizarre political signal in the middle of what is without question a major health-care crisis in America"; in an e-mail, Richard Baum, acting director of ONDCP wrote: cuts are "at odds with the fact that the President has tasked us with supporting his Commission on Combatting Drug Addiction and the Opioid Crisis", they are "drastic" and "heartbreaking"Template:StiggTemplate:Xfed🚓

National Security CouncilEdit

H.R. McMasterEdit

National Security Advisor

Principals Committee of the National Security CouncilEdit

  • Tom Bossert, Homeland Security Advisor
  • Dan Coats, National Intelligence Director
  • Marine Corps General Joseph Dunford, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

Director of National IntelligenceEdit

Michael ShortEdit

National Security Council spokesman

  1. (5/4/2017) "A coalition of former military leaders who were in charge of nukes have formed a "shadow security council" to advise world leaders on how to reduce the growing danger of nuclear war fueled by the rhetoric of Trump and destabilizing moves by Putin" "Things are heating up but I think it is pretty clear [Trump] is not equipped to handle those flash points," Derek Johnson, executive director, Global Zero, the Nuclear Crisis Group's predecessor, "[t]here's a real diplomatic and analytical vacuum that has to be filled"Template:IntorgTemplate:NukewTemplate:Esca💣Template:Dip

Mike PenceEdit

"Vice" President

  1. (5/2/2017) Pence is trying to follow the George H. W. Bush model of the vice president 🌅Template:Poseur
  2. (5/2/2017) Democrats victory in the new spending bill was so lopsided that despite the GOP having the Presidency and majorities in the House and Senate, Democrats now believe they can block Trump's legislative priorities for years to come also, Pence credits Trump for passage of the spending bill, "thanks to the strong leadership of President Donald Trump ... [t]hanks to his direct engagement with members of Congress, we?re seeing real progress"Template:RoseTemplate:Gopgov
  3. (5/3/2017) The leopard is on the prowl again. This time it's evangelicals who lament that their marriage to Trump is "going to be a bitter harvest" 🐑
  4. (5/3/2017) Democrats agree to $21 billion increase in military spending. President Trump for the win Template:Micx
  5. (5/5/2017) Mike Pence stops at Cinco de Mayo party, says Trump has made "Latinos a priority." Presumably he meant deportation-wise Template:PandrTemplate:Sombfa
  6. (5/11/2017) Trump to launch voter fraud distraction... I mean commission "Establishment of Presidential Advisory Commission on Election Integrity"; commission to be led by Pence😺Template:Cc3.0Template:Stigg
    1. (5/12/2017) President Trump is against voter fraud Template:AvotefTemplate:Costnza
    2. (5/12/2017) The terrifying, nefarious reason for Trump's sudden decision to investigate voter fraud Trump Election Commission includes Kris Kobach, Kansas Secretary of State🔥Template:OrwellTemplate:AvotefTemplate:VotesTemplate:Gopref
      1. (5/12/2017) Guess what Trump's Vice Chair of the new "election integrity" commission has had done to him four times. No, no, no... guess again Kris Kobach, Kansas Secretary of State, has been sued--and lost--four times for voter suppression (Brennan Center: Royster v. Rizzo; Fish v. Kobach; Brown v. Kobach; League of Women Voters v. Newby)🔥Template:Votes
  7. (5/12/2017) Soon to be President Mike Pence is neck deep in the Comey firing scandal Template:ComeyTemplate:Collu

Shadow CabinetEdit

Reince PriebusEdit

Chief of Staff

  1. (5/10/2017) Just who is Acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe, and will he continue focusing on the Russia probe, or will he try to deflect? Priebus discussed with McCabe a New York Times report about the FBI examining contacts between Trump aides and Russians during the campaign

Katie WalshEdit

Preibus deputy

  1. (4/3/2017) Right-wing trolls have turned on one another and are now attacking Team Trump 

Steve BannonEdit

White House chief strategist and Lumpy James May[1], Gentleman Fascist[2]

  1. (5/3/2017) How to identify every anonymous "Senior White House official". No, not by smell Template:Bts
  2. (5/3/2017) DOJ lawyer: We have no idea why hate crimes are spiking lately. Senator Franken: Gee, ya think maybe hiring Steve Bannon might have sent the wrong message? 
  3. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip
  4. (5/5/2017) Roger Stone actually makes a valid critique regarding Cabinet member serving POUTS 
  5. (5/13/2017) Oh my Palmer Report heafline: "Annapolis firm raided by FBI has ties to Steve Bannon"Template:Wish

Moustafa El-GindyEdit

former Egyptian legislator, businessman and owner of Breitbart’s Washington DC office

Robert MercerEdit

billionaire, donor, created super PAC Make America Number 1, backed Breitbart News

Mercer FamilyEdit

Darren BlantonEdit

Dallas investor who founded Colt Ventures; advisor to Trump?s transition; met frequently with Bannon at Trump Tower during the campaign

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip

Colt VenturesEdit

Dallas-based venture-capital firm; received $200k from Trump 2016 campaign for "data management services"; investor in VizSense

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip

Stephen MillerEdit

Assistant to the President

  1. (5/3/2017) How to identify every anonymous "Senior White House official". No, not by smell Template:Bts

Roger StoneEdit

Top. Advisor.

  1. (5/5/2017) Roger Stone actually makes a valid critique regarding Cabinet member serving POUTS 
  2. (5/12/2017) Contradicting Trump, Roger Stone says the two have spoken fairly recently Stone admitted contact with suspected Russian hacker "Guccifer 2.0"; CNN reported Stone recommended firing Comey to President; President tweeted: "The Roger Stone report @CNN is false--Fake News. Have not spoken to Roger in a long time--had nothing to do with my decision."; Friday, May 12, 2017 on ABC's "The View", Stone: "I'm not going to contradict the president and I'm not going to say when I spoke to him ... but I would say this, I have spoken to him very recently"Template:ComeyTemplate:Dig

Sebastian v. GorkaEdit

Deputy assistant to President, counter-terrorism advisor

Order of VitezEdit

several groups claim the name "Order of Vitéz," some have Nazi affiliations, others do not[3]

  • "vitéz" is the Hungarian word for "knight"

Peter TheilEdit

Advisor to the President

Carter PageEdit

American oil industry consultant, foreign policy advisor

  1. (5/5/2017) Carter Page's balls are much bigger than his brain " ... any records I may have saved as a private citizen with limited technology capabilities will be miniscule in comparison to the full database of information which has already been collected under the direction of the Obama Administration during last year's completely unjustified FISA warrant that targeted me for exercising my First Amendment rights, both in 2016 as well as in years prior"Template:PageTemplate:Evad

Paul ManafortEdit

Cyprus money-launderer

  1. (5/11/2017) FBI makes a special visit to a GOP consulting firm in Annapolis- with a search warrant third-floor offices of Strategic Campaign Group at 191 Main St., Annapolis, MarylandTemplate:RaidTemplate:Noose

Strategic Campaign GroupEdit

campaign consulting firm, Annapolis, Maryland

  • pioneered the use of technology in political campaigns
  • represents GOP candidates nationwide, including the Tea Party and the Conservative Majority Fund
  • FBI raided Main St. offices May 11, 2017 with a search warrant
  • questioned by the FEC concerning money raised by a political action committee
  1. (5/11/2017) FBI makes a special visit to a GOP consulting firm in Annapolis- with a search warrant third-floor offices of Strategic Campaign Group at 191 Main St., Annapolis, MarylandTemplate:RaidTemplate:Noose
    1. (5/13/2017) Oh my Palmer Report headline: "Annapolis firm raided by FBI has ties to Steve Bannon"Template:Wish

Boris EpshteynEdit

former Commissar for Media Relations Assistant Communications Director for Surrogate Operations

Michael Flynn (ret.)Edit

former National Security Adviser

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip
  2. (5/8/2017) Obama warned Trump not to hire Flynn, but knowing that Trump wouldn't trust him, Obama knew Trump would hire Flynn just to spite him, which means Trump hiring Flynn was actually an Obama conspiracy to collude with the Russians Template:FartTemplate:GoatTemplate:Drip
  3. (5/9/2017) ...and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for that meddling Obama vastly underestimating my stupidity Template:FartTemplate:Oc8.0Template:Icdir704
  4. (5/10/2017) Buy stock in popcorn futures, Mike Flynn has just been subpoenaed Template:SubpeoTemplate:Noose
  5. (5/12/2017) Despite being told that General Flynn might be compromised and open to blackmail by the Russians, Trump says he took 18 days to fire him because "it didn't seem like an emergency" 

Jon IadonisiEdit

stealth Trump 2016 campaign employee; founded White Canvas Group and VizSense

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip

VizSenseEdit

social-media company co-founded by Iadonisi and Tim Newberry

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip

White Canvas GroupEdit

consulting firm of Jon Iadonisi and Tim Newberry; rented space to Flynn's consultation firm, Flynn Intel Group; hired by Flynn to investigate Fethullah Gulen

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip

Ekim AlptekinEdit

Turkish American businessman close to top officials in Turkey; owner of Inovo

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip

Inovo BVEdit

Netherlands-based company owned by Ekim Alptekin; financed White Canvas Group's investigation of Fethullah Gulen

  1. (5/5/2017) Assistant and ally to Mike Flynn enacted a clandestine social media operation that focused on investigating something on behalf of Turkey while he was also assigned to the Trump campaign, feeding data to Flynn--and Bannon Template:ConflTemplate:Drip


Don McGahnEdit

White House counsel

Michael CohenEdit

President's personal lawyer

Ezra Cohen-WatnickEdit

Senior director for intelligence programs, National Security Council, one of Nunes' leakers

John EisenbergEdit

top lawyer for the National Security Council, reports to White House counsel Donald McGahn, was informed of the Nunes docs

Michael EllisEdit

former counsel for House Intelligence Committee; Deputy National Security Council Legal Advisor who reports to Eisenberg and White House counsel Donald McGahn, one of Nunes' leakers

Erik PrinceEdit

Secret Advisor

Silicon Valley TechbrosEdit

TwitterEdit

  1. (5/12/2017) Twitter is great for delivering the propaganda of despots. But it's terrible at turning a profit. Yet it manages to stay solvent for one simple reason: Twitter's expenses are being underwritten by the House Of Saud Template:BedfTemplate:Telecom

Jerry FalwellEdit

higher education reform task force

Grover NorquistEdit

president, Americans for Tax Reform

Pat RobertsonEdit

Advisor to the President in hate-related matters

Rudy GiulianiEdit

former NYC mayor, drag performer, "terrorism" "expert"

Pat BuchananEdit

Oval Office groupie

  1. (5/12/2017) The same sinister forces that attempted to "take down Nixon over Watergate and Reagan for Iran-Contra" are trying to take down Trump, claims deluded jelly-filled hate donut Pat Buchanan "There is a cultural left and a political left and a media, if you will, conglomerate ... [from the day [Nixon] was nominated, they tried to break and bring [him down], and they succeeded. They tried to break and bring down Reagan over Iran-Contra ... the same forces, similar forces are trying to break and bring down Trump. It is transparent."]Template:CrackTemplate:Oc2.0

Richard SpencerEdit

Whiteness Advisor

Supreme Court Justice Neil GorsuchEdit

Hope HicksEdit

White House Director of Strategic Communications

  1. (5/13/2017) Unlike his ego, Trump's inner circle is rapidly shrinking Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, campaign spokeswoman, Hope Hicks and longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller👑Template:GopgovTemplate:Noose

Sean SpicerEdit

White House Press Secretary

  1. (5/1/2027) Will Spiceweasel announce he increased the White House glue budget? Will Mongoose ask him how do snakes goosestep? Will April shake her head in a facepalm-like fashion? THIS is your daily Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:30PM start time) Live thread
  2. (5/2/2017) Will Spiceweasel tell us that Donald has always loved dictators? Will he proclaim tomorrow as "National Hug a Dictator Day"? Will Hitler bemmamhhahrhgagamesh... THIS is your Spiceweasel Press Briefing Thread (1:30pm ET start time) Live thread
  3. (5/2/2017) Spicer tweeted his bitcoin address, not a password Template:WishTemplate:Btc
  4. (5/3/2017) Will Spiceweasel spike the football? Will he send out angry snekretary in his place? WHY ARE THE DEMOCRATS CLAIMING VICTORY??? They only got 98% of what they wanted. THIS is your Spiceweasel Press Briefing thread (2pm start time) Live thread
  5. (5/4/2017) Don Lemon giggles as panel on wall discussion goes off the rails, says it's "funnier than SNL" Template:Seman
  6. (5/5/2017) Will Spiceweasel spike the football and declare it wasn't a football or a spike? Will April get called on? Wait, they're calling in a snekretary substitution? How dare they. THIS is your substitute Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:30 start time) Live thread; substitute iscSarsh Huckabee Sanders
  7. (5/5/2017) "Are you sure they have your number?" Anderson Cooper trolls Sean Spicer for his latest border wall lie Template:Miscom
  8. (5/8/2017) Will Spiceweasel deny that Michael Flynn ever worked for the administration? Will there be revelations that Bears and Mongeese work together to eat Snekretary? Oh he's back, baby. THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:30 start) Live thread
  9. (5/9/2017) Will Spiceweasel deny ever having lied? Will today be canceled because of some rift in the space-time continuum? Can someone tell Spiceweasel just what the hell is going on? THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread. (1:30 start time) Live thread
  10. (5/10/2017) Spicer literally hides behind some bushes to avoid reporters Template:Apol
  11. (5/10/2017) Will Spiceweasel bring out Demonic Keebler Elf to explain the Comey firing? Will he outright cancel today because yesterday was such a shambles? Will the press bite back hard? THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:30 start time) whpsdb{{}}
    1. (5/10/2017) Why, on today of all days, was Assistant Press Snekretary Sara "I TOTALLY Got this job on my own merits" Huckbee-Sanders pinch-hitting behind the Podium at the press briefing? Apparently last night's firing broke the Spicy and he had a "meltdown" 
  12. (5/11/2017) Spiceweasel: I was not hiding *in* the bushes. I was hiding *among* the bushes the Washington Post added an editor's note to their original story: "This story has been updated to more precisely describe White House press secretary Sean Spicer?s location late Tuesday night in the minutes before he briefed reporters. Spicer huddled with his staff among bushes near television sets on the White House grounds, not ?in the bushes,? as the story originally stated."Template:Seman
  13. (5/12/2017) White House: "OMG, For The Billionth Time Spicer Is Not Being Fired." Well, so long, Spiceweasel, it's been nice knowing you 😺
  14. (5/12/2017) Sean Spicer seen packing up his hobo bindle after President Word Salad threatens to cancel press briefings because it's impossible for his staff to speak with "perfect accuracy" the President tweeted: "...Maybe the best thing to do would be to cancel all future "press briefings" and hand out written responses for the sake of accuracy???"💣Template:Petu
    1. (5/12/2017) Trump wants to cancel the highest-rated comedy on afternoon TV 💣Template:Petu
    2. (5/12/2017) Oh please ... oh please ... oh please ... oh please ... pleeeeeeeeeeeease Independent UK headline: "Donald Trump says he wants to do press briefings instead of Sean Spicer"Template:Micro
      1. (5/13/2017) Trump White House may outsource press briefing duties to producers of a cable news channel. Gee, I wonder which one? of course it's FOX; also, the President "increasingly sees himself as the White House's only effective spokesman"Template:Micro
    3. (5/13/2017) WAMP WAMP: Nobody wants to be Donald Trump's new spokesperson because 'you wind up looking like a liar or a fool' David Axelrod: "The most hazardous duty in Washington these days is that of Trump surrogate because the president constantly undercuts the statements of his own people ... [y]ou wind up looking like a liar or a fool"Template:Micro💣
  15. (5/12/2017) Will Spiceweasel be back for one last press briefing? Will this be the end of Press Snekretary? What will the world do without snakes with angry eyebrows? I didn't ask for this, April. THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:00 PM EDT start) Live thread; Spicer returns
  16. (5/12/2017) Reporter: Is Trump secretly recording conversations? Sssspicy: "the president has nothing further to add on that." Another Reporter: So that's a Yes? Sssspicy: "nothing further to add to that." 3rd rep: so he's TOTALLY doing it? S: NOTHING. TO. ADD YouTube clipTemplate:Tapes
  17. (5/13/2017) New garden Spicer will peek at you creepily from your bushes 

Open Mouth Insert ...Edit

HolocaustEdit

Mike DubkeEdit

Communications Director

Kellyanne ConwayEdit

Counselor to the President

  1. (5/8/2017) Lich queen Kellyanne Conway crawls out of her warren of corpses to snap at the elderly and poor for criticizing the Obamacare repeal, stating "It's easy to jeer from the cheap seats" Template:Bully
  2. (5/8/2017) Where in the World is Kellyanne Conway? Template:Snl
  3. (5/9/2017) Airport heckler comes after Kellyanne Conway. Her response, "Here, someone hold my earrings" unnamed man shouted "Keep trashing America" at Conway in Washingyon National Airport👑💥🌅
  4. (5/10/2017) Emerging from her crypt, Lich queen Kellyanne Conway defends the termination of Comey and says everyone is tired of hearing about Russia and Trump anyway Conway appeared twice on CNN; on Tuesday evening with Anderson Cooper, then Wednesday morning with Chris Cuomo; CNN @CNN tweeted: "Conway: "You want to question the timing of when [Trump] fires, when he hires... He?ll do it when he wants to."" (5:02 AM - 10 May 2017)Template:Acf
    1. (5/10/2017) Trump has been screaming at TVs, asking aides why the investigation isn't going away, demanding they go defend him 💣👑🏆
  5. (5/11/2017) Anderson Cooper does on live television what the rest of us have been doing at home for months: He rolls his eyes as Kellyanne Conway attempts to defend Trump Template:ApolTemplate:Snow

Sarah Huckabee SandersEdit

deputy White House press secretary

  1. (5/5/2017) Will Spiceweasel spike the football and declare it wasn't a football or a spike? Will April get called on? Wait, they're calling in a snekretary substitution? How dare they. THIS is your substitute Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:30 start time) Live thread; substitute iscSarsh Huckabee Sanders
  2. (5/5/2017) White House fires Usher, which is what you get when you introduce Justin Bieber to the world Angella Reid, former chief usher, White House 2011-2017Template:Stigg
  3. (5/6/2017) Is it me, or did Trump just end the war on drugs and focus his 'Drug Czar' on serious addictions - like opiods? You'd think many on the left would cheer this news but ::Crickets: Barry R. McCaffrey, 'Drug Czar' 1996 - 2001: "It sends a terrible message. Why send this bizarre political signal in the middle of what is without question a major health-care crisis in America"; in an e-mail, Richard Baum, acting director of ONDCP wrote: cuts are "at odds with the fact that the President has tasked us with supporting his Commission on Combatting Drug Addiction and the Opioid Crisis", they are "drastic" and "heartbreaking"Template:StiggTemplate:Xfed🚓
  4. (5/6/2017) FDA denies being forced to exclusively broadcast Fox News from its lobby monitors. Also denies being involved in studying mind control. Hides copies of Catcher in the Rye FDA spokesperson:"There was no directive or memorandum from the administration that went out to employees about broadcast news channels displaying on monitors in common areas throughout the FDA's White Oak campus," adding that "a variety of news stations run on those monitors, including CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News"
  5. (5/10/2017) Will Spiceweasel bring out Demonic Keebler Elf to explain the Comey firing? Will he outright cancel today because yesterday was such a shambles? Will the press bite back hard? THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:30 start time) whpsdb{{}}
    1. (5/10/2017) Why, on today of all days, was Assistant Press Snekretary Sara "I TOTALLY Got this job on my own merits" Huckbee-Sanders pinch-hitting behind the Podium at the press briefing? Apparently last night's firing broke the Spicy and he had a "meltdown" 
  6. (5/11/2017) Sarah Huckabee Sanders wants America to "move on" from the Russia investigation. With bonus Baghdad Bob "nothing to see here" pic Sanders again claimed the letters Trump received from both Sessions and Rosenstein "outlined the basic atrocities in circumventing the chain of command and the Department of Justice"Template:MagicTemplate:Goat
    1. (5/11/2017) Not Sean Spicer tells the Press that removing Comey will help bring the Russia/Trump investigation to a conclusion first Huckabee Sanders said, "We want this to come to its conclusion ... with integrity ... And we think that we've actually, by removing Director Comey, taken steps to make that happen"; later that day, Trump tells NBC: "When I [fired Comey] now I said, I probably, maybe will confuse people ... [but did it anyway] to do the right thing for the American people"Template:Comey💣Template:MagicTemplate:Goat
      1. (5/12/2017) You thought that Bullshiat Spice was bad at his job? Well, it looks like in Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the Trump administration has managed to find someone possibly even worse. So much for hiring the "best people" Template:RevTemplate:Best🌅Template:Goat
      2. (5/12/2017) Former FBI director James Comey is reported "furious" at the "lack of respect" being shown to him in comments made by Trump and White House officials. It remains to be seen whether he's gonna do something about it or just stand there and bleed no new direct quotes from Comey, only a quote from the letter to colleagues, previously released by CNN: "I have long believed that a President can fire an FBI Director for any reason, or for no reason at all ... I'm not going to spend time on the decision or the way it was executed. I hope you won't either. It is done, and I will be fine, although I will miss you and the mission deeply."Template:DefoppTemplate:Comey
  7. (5/11/2017) Will the Huckster tell everyone that everything is okay? Will she tell us all to "nut up" and forget about that Comey fellow? Does she make you long for Spiceweasel? THIS is your Spicew-er...Huckster press briefing thread (1:30 start time) Live thread; Huckabee Sanders filling in again for Spicer

Natalie StromEdit

White House spokeswoman

Kelly LoveEdit

White House spokesmodel

Lindsay WaltersEdit

White House deputy press secretary

Helen Aguirre FerreEdit

White House director of media affairs or "Never Trump, low-energy, Jeb Bush staffers infiltrate Donald Trump's White House"

White House Press CorpsEdit

  1. (4/10/2017) Let's look at the freak show the White House Press Corps has become in part thanks to Bullshiat Spice 

OMBEdit

Office of Management & Budget

  1. (5/2/2017) Democrats victory in the new spending bill was so lopsided that despite the GOP having the Presidency and majorities in the House and Senate, Democrats now believe they can block Trump's legislative priorities for years to come also, Pence credits Trump for passage of the spending bill, "thanks to the strong leadership of President Donald Trump ... [t]hanks to his direct engagement with members of Congress, we?re seeing real progress"Template:RoseTemplate:Gopgov

Mike MulvaneyEdit

Director of OMB

Mike HuckabeeEdit

former governor of Arkansas

  1. (5/5/2017) In honor of Cinco de Mayo, America's unhinged racist uncle promises to drink a jar of salsa and watch Speedy Gonzales cartoons. No word on how many times he will slap his forehead and cry "¡Ay, caramba!" out of respect for Latinos Template:PandrTemplate:Dbag

Stefan PassantinoEdit

White House ethics lawyer

David ApolEdit

Top. Lawyer. Office of Government Ethics

Walter ShaubEdit

Director, Office of Government Ethics

Frank GaffneyEdit

director, Center for Security Policy, his tiny think tank

Nigel FarageEdit

leader of the UKIP (United Kingdom Independence Party)

Gary CohnEdit

chief economic advisor

Sarah PalinEdit

Ted NugentEdit

Kid RockEdit

Omarosa ManigaultEdit

Minority outreach, Nixon Apprentice and #1 fangirl


See AlsoEdit

External LinksEdit



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