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This is an archive of Drumpfster Fire Daily Chaos Fark threads for the month of April, 2017
Click this link for the current month, or here for the rest of the archive.


DangerousEdit

Generalissimo Know-It-AllEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) Trump: The US is ready to act alone on North Korea if necessary. China: You pull some shiat that results in our eastern border being overrun with millions of starving, frightened, and uneducated refugees and we are gonna have "a problem", monkey-boy ๐Ÿ’ฃ
  2. (4/5/2017) Trump: "No one knew Syria would be this bad. No one" โš›
  3. (4/6/2017) Just tell them it is a Red line that can't be crossed, and then do nothing. That worked great last time, thanks Barry Template:Kskhn
  4. (4/6/2017) Trump wags dog Template:Shayrat๐Ÿ’ฃ
    1. (4/7/2017) Trump says attacks on Syria were of vital national interest and totally NOT a distraction from the unethical and extremely unpopular power grab in the U.S. Senate by Congressional Republicans Template:Shayrat๐Ÿ’ฃ
  5. (4/7/2017) Trump repeatedly told Obama not to attack Syria in 2013- hey why is my house in green night vision on CNN? 
  6. (4/7/2017) Donald Trump just learned the quickest way to seem "presidential" is to lob a bunch of bombs into another country ๐Ÿ†โšก
  7. (4/7/2017) Here comes the inevitable article claiming that Syria just changed EVERYTHING. If you had CNN in the poll, please click on the left to claim your prize ๐Ÿ†Template:Shayrat
  8. (4/7/2017) So whats up with those B-3 Bombers being sent to Albania Template:EscaTemplate:Deploy
  9. (4/8/2017) Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at black masses. Evil minds that plot destruction, sorcerer of death's construction ๐Ÿ†
  10. (4/8/2017) Apparently Donald Trump may have used Tomahawk missiles because he owns part of the company that makes them 
  11. (4/9/2017) Dear Congress, Vital national security beautiful babies Syria bombing campaign national interests vital. Chief boss me says so, vital best words chemical weapons bombing raid necessary national interest. Vital. Love, Donald Template:ShayratTemplate:Warpow๐Ÿ†
  12. (4/10/2017) Trump campaigned on getting the US out of "stupid wars", but as president he is going on a warpath in the Middle East, and cranking the civilian murder to 11 while he's at it ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ†
  13. (4/13/2017) Taco Bell custodians yawn in disbelief after news of largest non-nuclear bomb in U.S. inventory dropped in Afghanistan after Green Beret was killed a 21,000-pound conventional bomb, MOAB (Massive Ordnance Air Blast or "Mother Of All Bombs"), the GBU-43B was dropped out of the back of a C-130 over Nangarhar Province, Afghanistan๐Ÿ†โšกTemplate:Recru๐Ÿ˜บ
  14. (4/25/2017) Scheduled Minuteman III launch ahead of "ridiculous" 100 day mark that Trump doesn't care about. Spicer said to be updating bullet points of accomplishments Contextual link provided by FarkerTemplate:DrumTemplate:Dick
  15. (4/26/2017) Senior administration official tells press that President Trump has determined a course of action for North Korea and that military preparations are underway Template:Esca

SyriaEdit

  1. (4/9/2017) Bombing Syria was Ivanka's idea. Sleep well, Earth Template:Shayrat
    1. (4/11/2017) Isn't it great to live in a country where you can cry to your daddy about how much it sucks that chemical weapons were used on children and actually have daddy do something about it, international treaties be dammed? ๐Ÿ˜›
  2. (4/10/2017) CNN anchor asks senator if he understands Trump's Syria policy. His response? "No. Do you?" ๐Ÿ˜›
    1. (4/10/2017) "The Trump administration has no idea what it's doing on Syria," says the headline that is two words too long 
  3. (4/12/2017) Not today...maybe tomorrow. We are definitely not. You, maybe ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ˜›
    1. (4/12/2017) We're going into Syria 
  4. (4/12/2017) Donald Trump: Remembers what flavor of cake he had but not which country he bombed 
  5. (4/19/2017) Trump's missile assault on Syria was justified by fabricated intelligence and documents so awful not even Senator Vreenak would have wasted time reviewing them Template:FabricTemplate:Shayrat

Best KoreaEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) White House: 'our poll numbers are tanking and half of us are under investigation. I know - let's taunt the dynamite monkey that'll distract people from our problems.' Template:Esca
  2. (4/12/2017) Trump seems to think "Armadas" are still a thing the Navy has. Also doesn't seem to be aware of what happened to the most famous naval force bearing that designation US Navy Carl Vinson Carrier Strike Group (CSG) being deployed๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ˜บ
    1. (4/15/2017) Japanese destroyers decide to follow the Vinson in humiliating Best Korea Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force (JMSDF) to join US Navy Carl Vinson Carrier Strike Group (CSG) in East China Sea๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ˜บ
    2. (4/12/2017) China is now the adult in the room ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿผ
      1. (4/12/2017) Best Korea: Don't make us do to you what we've done to the sea 
      2. (4/12/2017) Approach, and repeat ultimatum in an even firmer tone of voice. Add the words, "or else" ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿผ
    3. (4/14/2017) U.S. to N. Korea: We're sick of your shiat. N. Korea to U.S.: just TRY us, biatches. China: woah woah,.....let's just chill ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿผ
      1. (4/14/2017) The problem with Trump thinking he can scare North Korea is that the guy running North Korea is significantly crazier than Trump and he doesn't have to consult anyone ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿผ
        1. (4/14/2017) I'm gonna take this as an indication something's afoot in the Korean peninsula. Might want to cancel your reservations now and avoid the rush. And the onslaught of refugees china{{}}
      2. (4/14/2017) And you thought President Trump was nuts for whacking the bees nest that is North Korea, China is suddenly leaning on North Korea and it might be because of him ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿผ
        1. (4/15/2017) The eastern world, it is explodin', violence flaring, bullets loadin' ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’ฃ
      3. (4/15/2017) China goes over Trump's head to the big boss ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿผ
  3. (4/18/2017) Trump's "Armada" did not go towards North Korea; did not go past North Korea; was actually sent thousands of miles in the opposite direction from Korea; was on scheduled training exercises; was not put on alert; was actually single rubber bath ducky 
    1. (4/18/2017) Remember last week when Trump and Spicer claimed the USS Carl Vinson had been sent to the Sea of Japan to deter the North Koreans? Either that never happened, or the carrier just went full "Philadelphia Experiment" and teleported thousands of miles 
    2. (4/19/2017) The Carl Vinson carrier group wasn't actually underway to Best Korea to provoke Jong Un in a game of nuclear brinksmanship, but since we've had a week to think about it, it is now. Bottoms up, last call ๐Ÿ’ฃ
    3. (4/19/2017) WATCH: Sean Spicer implodes when White House reporters grill him about aircraft carrier blunder 
    4. (4/21/2017) Mike Pence says he went outside to look at the North Koreans on the other side of the DMZ so they could "see the resolve in my face" Template:Weak
  4. (4/24/2017) Trump continues to rattle his saber and play with his shiny bathtub toys, as Chinese leader urges restraint on Best Korea - all on this episode of "He said, Xi said" ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ†
    1. (4/25/2017) President Baby Trump brings his largest bathtub toy to South Korea as China agrees action MUST be taken concerning Kim Jong-un and his nuclear toys Template:EscaTemplate:Sk๐Ÿ˜›

AfghanistanEdit

  1. (4/13/2017) Taco Bell custodians yawn in disbelief after news of largest non-nuclear bomb in U.S. inventory dropped in Afghanistan after Green Beret was killed a 21,000-pound conventional bomb, MOAB (Massive Ordnance Air Blast or "Mother Of All Bombs"), the GBU-43B was dropped out of the back of a C-130 over Nangarhar Province, Afghanistan๐Ÿ†โšกTemplate:Recru๐Ÿ˜บ
    1. (4/17/2017) Pence says Syria strike and the MOAB were really messages to North Korea, at least until next week when Spicer says they were messages to Iran, or the week after when Trump says they were love notes to Putin ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฃ

Baby's First Foreign PolicyEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) Trump's Mar-a-Lago turns into more of an ethics swamp Template:Ethic
  2. (4/5/2017) Trump: "No one knew Syria would be this bad. No one" โš›
  3. (4/13/2017) U.S. threatens to bomb North Korea if another nuke is detonated. Come on guys, this isn't funny anymore. Cut it out ๐Ÿ’ฃโš 

General Decision MakingEdit

  1. (4/14/2017) Wanna change Trump's mind on something? That's easy, just be sure that you're the last person that talks to him Template:Last
  2. (4/27/2017) Trump staffers no longer trust him to make the right decision when presented with a weak option, an extreme one and a middle of the road option, so they will only present him with their preferred option to avoid catastrophe Template:Last
  3. (4/14/2017) NPR tries to understand Trump's shifting positions. Well, Trump has no core beliefs other than "how does this help Trump" which means, as previously mentioned numerous times over the last 18 months, who the fark knows what Trump'll do? ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’ฃ
    1. (4/15/2017) Don't say he's a hypocrite, just say he's "flexible" ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’ฃ๐ŸŒ…
  4. (4/15/2017) Where will Trump's sudden militaristic tendencies take us? ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ˜›

Troop DeploymentEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Half a league onward, all in the Valley of Death rode the 300 Template:Deploy
  2. (4/25/2017) President Baby Trump brings his largest bathtub toy to South Korea as China agrees action MUST be taken concerning Kim Jong-un and his nuclear toys Template:EscaTemplate:Sk๐Ÿ˜›

Pretext(s) for warEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Dear World, If you would like the United States to bomb and invade a country, just produce some stories about babies being thrown from incubators. Republicans eat this stuff up as justification for war. Love, UN Ambassador Nikki Haley ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฃ


TortureEdit

Nuclear Arms ControlEdit

Climate Change DenialEdit

Keystone XL PipelineEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Nebraskan farmers to make the strongest, most compelling case than we've ever heard against Keystone pipeline by pointing out how it may hurt some white people Template:Keypipe
    1. (4/23/2017) Fox News host interviews Nebraska farmer she's sure will agree with her claims the Keystone XL pipeline will make the U.S. energy independent. That's when he reminded her the oil it transfers isn't from the U.S. Art Tanderup, Nebraska farmerTemplate:Keypipe

Connections to RussiansEdit

For all the Fark threads about the Trump, Russia collusion, please visit the Trump-Russia Connections page

Privatization of federal governmentEdit

IRSEdit

Conserve, Pioneer, Performant, and CBE Group

  1. (4/5/2017) After years of warning taxpayers that the IRS will never cold call you to collect a tax debt, IRS hands over its debt-collection to private companies ... who will call you Fixing Americaโ€™s Surface Transportation Act (FAST Act)(Section 32102) enacted by Congress December, 2015; Conserve, Pioneer, Performant, and CBE Group

Social SecurityEdit

  1. (4/13/2017) Donald Trump wants to put a couple hundred bucks more in your paycheck. And he'll pay for it by killing your parents and grandparents ๐Ÿ”’๐Ÿ†โœ‚

Government ShutdownEdit

  1. (4/2/2017) McConnell: There will be a government shutdown next month 
  2. (4/12/2017) The Party of Small Governmentยฎ is about to trigger a government shutdown because they're mad that local governments won't become puppets of the federal government โš 
  3. (4/19/2017) Ted Cruz: "the radical left might shut down the government with a whiny temper tantrum and that's a bad thing" โ”
  4. (4/21/2017) Bipartisan talks to avoid unnecessary government shutdown were going fairly well until Trump came in with demands for at least one win in his first 100 days, farking everything up bigly Template:Petu
  5. (4/26/2017) On the shutdown negotiations, McConnell sternly warns Democrats once again. that they had better not try to pull the EXACT same stunts he did for the last 8 years Template:StiggTemplate:Gopgov
  6. (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support 

IncompetenceEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) Come for the upcoming incompetence crisis, stay for the writer's break down as of April 7, 2017, only 22 of 553 positions requiring Senate confirmation have been filled
  2. (4/21/2017) This might shock you, but in Trump's White House there is no clear chain of command as no one knows who's really in charge Template:Gopgov

Local PoliceEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) Operation Burn it to the Ground progressing as planned. Thanks, Bannon ๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿ‘ชTemplate:Blm
  2. (4/11/2017) Airlines treat you like garbage because capitalism only works in theory ๐Ÿ‘ฎ
    1. (4/12/2017) Hopefully Trump's future FAA head Chris Christie says "Everybody who flies, everybody who flies commercially knows that United is awful" calls on the administration to "review how the airlines are using overbooking, stop them from doing it," ๐Ÿ‘ฎ
  3. (4/13/2017) Attorney General Jeff Sessions is worried that not enough Americans are being locked up โ€œIโ€™m saying Iโ€™m getting worried weโ€™re not locking more people up.โ€๐Ÿš“๐Ÿ‘ฎ

Shock DoctrineEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) We must never let the American government use a terror attack to consolidate power. CTRL+F "Patriot Act"... 0 of 0. Huh, author must be, like, 16 years old? โ”

Secret Service ShenanigansEdit

  1. (4/7/2017) Trump's extended family is running the Secret Service ragged, which of course means using up more taxpayer money for the least good of all reasons: worrying about the safety of the Washington Trumpbillys 
  2. (4/10/2017) Trump's personal helicopter landing at Mar-a-Lago raises questions. Fark: by Fox News 

Domestic StrifeEdit

  1. (4/10/2017) Multiple Gunshot Victims at Elementary School in San Bernardino Template:Shoot
  2. (4/19/2017) Shooting rampage occurs in Fresno, leaving at least four dead; let the debate begin as to whether religion, race, mental health, or gun laws are to blame 

Death PenaltyEdit

  1. (4/24/2017) "Fark all this mamsy-pamsy humane execution bullshiat. If we're gonna do this, let's do it right with firing squads and guillotines. And live stream that shiat." -- 9th Circuit Federal Judge Alex Kozinski Federal Judge Alex Kozinski, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals: "I think the use of lethal injection is the way of lying to ourselves, to make it look like executions are peaceful, are benign, are sort of like going to sleep, and they're not ... [i]f we as a society are willing to take away human life, we should be willing to watch it."Template:ModproTemplate:Dp

InfrastructureEdit

  1. (4/12/2017) The Trump healthcare plan failed due to a deeply divided GOP, no support from Democrats, and seriously fuzzy math. So, guess what three things are waiting for the Trump infrastructure plan? ๐ŸŒ‰

Conceal Carry ReciprocityEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Because gun laws aren't lax enough and the average American's life in danger from loose firearm regulations, the NRA now wants to push forth on National Reciprocity 

Hate Speech on College CampusesEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) The Koch Brothers are teaming up with Betsy DeVos to bring hate speech onto college campuses across the country ๐Ÿ™‰

Unfilled Positions in Justice DepartmentEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Well it's been a month since the Friday night massacre of the Department of Justice. Let's see how well the new US attorneys are doing and...oh dear Template:Stigg

Domestic TerroristsEdit

  1. (4/23/2017) Trump's Homeland Security director John Kelly admits he doesn't have a clue how to stop domestic terrorists โ”
  2. (4/26/2017) Trump to sign EO Wednesday that is basically a gigantic FARK YOU to millions of acres of national land under Federal protection since 1996 Template:Stigg๐Ÿ†

Sexual PredatorEdit

Tim NolanEdit

former judge; current member Campbell County School Board, district 5; Tea Party supporter; indicted sexual predator

  1. (4/23/2017) Another Trump Campaign Chair has been indicted for minor sex trafficking. What is it with Republicans and kids? charges from indictment, The River City News

Hateful & CruelEdit

Neo-NazisEdit

Confederate HeritageEdit

  1. (4/6/2017) Mississippi governor signs off on Confederate Heritage Month, expects White House appointment shortly Template:Confed
  2. (4/27/2017) South Carolina candidate for Congress: 'Well, if'n those Politically Correct pussies are gonna get rid of our monuments to the glorious Confederacy, how 'bout we get rid of some of them slavery memorials?' That's a bold strategy, Cotton Template:Confed

Muslim banEdit

  1. (4/12/2017) Hawaii is going all in on that travel ban fight 

RefugeesEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Homeland Security wants to further crater the US tourism industry while making it harder for Americans to travel through Europe ๐Ÿ˜›Template:Ref

ImmigrantsEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) Illegal immigrant who is the caretaker for her disabled veteran husband and four children, one of whom has cerebral palsy, will not be deported for at least another year. There, are you libs happy now? Template:VetTemplate:Deport
  2. (4/6/2017) Nunca pensรฉ que los leopardos comerรญan MI cara ๐Ÿ†Template:Deport
  3. (4/5/2017) Landlords are threatening to call ICE on tenants that refuse to sign leases that would raise their rent Template:Obey
  4. (4/13/2017) Trump creating army of federal shock troops to patrol the country demanding citizenship papers from all sufficiently brown people. But don't worry, this is all just campaign talk DHSโ€™s acting spokeswoman called the papers โ€œpre-decisional documentsโ€
  5. (4/13/2017) Exiled Keebler Elf and current US Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, is using his job to purge America of people who don't look like him ๐Ÿš“
  6. (4/14/2017) Trump: Your kids just aren't worth it Template:Stigg
  7. (4/17/2017) For some crazy reason that I can't quite get my finger on, undocumented workers in America are more reluctant to file their tax forms than they have been in the past 
  8. (4/19/2017) MSNBC airs live segment where they traveled with an ICE agent to capture an illegal immigrant leaving his home MSNBCโ€™s Hallie Jackson in studio; NBCโ€™s Gadi Schwartz, embedded with ICE agents
  9. (4/19/2017) It's almost as if Trump has put racist authoritarians in charge of law enforcement and given them carte blanche to do whatever. But, who among us could have guessed that might happen? deportation of Juan Manuel Montes Bojorquez, who believes he was ptotected by Deferred Action for Childhood ArrivalsTemplate:Deport
  10. (4/18/2017) Timeshifter President Obama strikes again, as Donald Trump insists the notorious Salvadoran gang MS-13 formed because of lax immigrant laws, despite being well established before 2008 ๐Ÿš“Template:Oc6.0๐Ÿ’ฃ
  11. (4/18/2017) The dream is over deportation of Dreamer Juan Manuel MontesTemplate:Deport
    1. (4/19/2017) USA Today: Poor, struggling young DREAMer who just wanted to go out on a date with his girlfriend is deported. Reality: 23-year-old apprehended by Border Patrol after illegally entering U.S. by climbing over border fence is deported Juan Manuel Montes Bojorquez renewed his status, DHS checked, found that they erred, still deported him Template:Deport
    2. (4/20/2017) Trump: Seriously, why are Mexicans allowed to be judges? This is America, right? Curiel, who presided over the Trump University case, was chosen at random to the case of Juan Manuel Montes, the "Dreamer" who was deportedTemplate:Deport
    3. (4/20/2017) AG Jefferson Davis Beauregard Sessions III: "We Can't promise that Dreamers won't be deported" and since, grammatically, two negatives in a sentence cancel each other out, what he REALLY said was "We can promise Dreamers will be deported" ๐Ÿš“
    4. (4/22/2017) Trump tells Dreamers to relax, he's not after them. Sure, there are stories about Dreamers being deported but that's probably fake news. Why would anyone Hispanic worry about my policies? Template:DeportTemplate:Believe
  12. (4/20/2017) America's Milk Lobby says that immigration raids on dairy farms have the potential to send milk prices skyrocketing from $3.31 to $8 per gallon . In other news, we apparently have a Milk Lobby in the US Template:LobbyTemplate:Goppol๐Ÿ‘„
  13. (4/23/2017) Meanwhile down under, British immigrants are upset the new Oz crackdowns are "tarring them with the same brush" as those who aren't "from a Christian background;" complain they never thought the dingoes would eat *their* faces ๐Ÿ‘„Template:Oz

PropagandaEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) MSNBC airs live segment where they traveled with an ICE agent to capture an illegal immigrant leaving his home MSNBCโ€™s Hallie Jackson in studio; NBCโ€™s Gadi Schwartz, embedded with ICE agents

Anti-AlienEdit

  1. (4/27/2017) Trump creates a new hotline to report crimes committed by aliens. The internet responds 1-855-48-VOICE (86423)

Sanctuary CitiesEdit

  1. (4/12/2017) The Party of Small Governmentยฎ is about to trigger a government shutdown because they're mad that local governments won't become puppets of the federal government Template:Sancityโš Template:Stigg
  2. (4/13/2017) "Five years ago, I never would have envisioned myself suing a president of the United States on an issue that I believe is an issue of morality, and yet here we are" Template:Sancity
  3. (4/26/2017) Trump again vows to take the court to court US District Judge William Orrick III blocked Trump's executive order withholding federal funds from sanctuary citiesTemplate:Sancity
    1. (4/27/2017) If the mainstream media's headline is reading like a Fark headline there might be cause for concern Template:Sancity

The Great White WallEdit

  1. (4/2/2017) Standing between Trump and his wall are people like NM rancher William Hurt. "The best way to just absolutely get no cooperation is tell me what I'm gonna have to do to make you happy" 
  2. (4/3/2017) Here's your first look at some border wall proposals. Oh jeez, are they serious? 
    1. (4/5/2017) Some of the bids for Trump's Mexico border wall include plans for a tourist balcony 
    2. (4/10/2017) Some of the proposed designs for Trump's wall include drones, a toxic moat, remote-operated disintegration rays, random drunken Texans with guns, a three-hundred mile minefield. OK, some of those are made up but try to guess which ones 
    3. (4/6/2017) Photoshop Challenge: Homeland Security would like to see proposals for a border wall. Photoshop a proposal that trumps all others 
  3. (4/9/2017) Democrats are winning the war against the Wall 
  4. (4/14/2017) Trump: Your kids just aren't worth it Template:Stigg
  5. (4/23/2017) Trump: Someday, at a later date, not today but in the future, possibly the near future but maybe a little further, we can't know for sure, Mexico will pay--possibly with money but perhaps something else like wampum or donkeys or mohair--for the wall Template:Weak
    1. (4/23/2017) Trump's Homeland Security director John Kelly admits he doesn't have a clue how to stop domestic terrorists โ”
    2. (4/25/2017) All and all, Trump won't insist on the wall 
      1. (4/25/2017) Trump who earlier told reporters that he might be willing to wait on The Wall now claims that any story about his willingness to wait on The Wall is FAKE NEWS ๐Ÿ’ฃ
        1. (4/25/2017) Sean Spicer has completed his transformation into the new Baghdad Bob โ”
    3. (4/24/2017) Totally not racist, and most assuredly not speaking from his rectum Attorney Jefferson Davis Beauregard III says the wall can be paid for if the Treasury cracks down on improper EITC payments since they are going to "mostly Mexicans" 
  6. (4/24/2017) Trump budget chief: Don't worry about the millions of poors who will lose healthcare after the ACA is repealed, our glorious border wall will protect them. Wait, what? โš Template:Goat
  7. (4/24/2017) Totally not racist, and most assuredly not speaking from his rectum Attorney Jefferson Davis Beauregard III says the wall can be paid for if the Treasury cracks down on improper EITC payments since they are going to "mostly Mexicans" 
  8. (4/25/2017) All and all, Trump won't insist on the wall 
  9. (4/25/2017) Trump who earlier told reporters that he might be willing to wait on The Wall now claims that any story about his willingness to wait on The Wall is FAKE NEWS ๐Ÿ’ฃ
  10. (4/25/2017) Illegal border crossings are down 90% since Trump took office. It would be better but no one is even trying to prevent those 10% from fleeing to Canada 
  11. (4/25/2017) Fox News headline: "Why are Dems happy when Trump drops unpopular positions?" ๐Ÿ™‹
  12. (4/26/2017) Ted Cruz wants the US to use the $14 billion seized from El Chapo to pay for Trump's wall. That's... that might actually work 
  13. (4/27/2017) RNC Chair: GOP base will limp away in midterms elections if The Wall isn't erect Ronna Romney McDaniel: "They're gonna lose the trust of our base if we don't keep our promises, our base is gonna walk away"Template:EmptyTemplate:2018e
  14. (4/27/2017) Are you a contractor interested in doing work on Trump's border wall? I hope you weren't planning on bidding on any state contracts in California, New York or Rhode Island afterwards 

LGBTQ CommunityEdit

  1. (4/8/2017) Anti-transgender bathroom legislation has been filed in 15 states so far, but it's only a coincidence that all 15 bills contain the same typo 
  2. (4/17/2017) Texas didn't think its cunning plan through as bill that forbids cities from creating a protected class would nullify existing ordinances protecting LGBT people, veterans, the elderly, and pregnant women ๐Ÿ‘„HB 2899, "Texas Protection Act (TPA)"
  3. (4/20/2017) The real reason there's so much political corruption in D.C.? Too many witches and gays 
  4. (4/21/2017) Fox News fired Bill O'Reilly because it wants to fill the network with "pro-gay closet Nazis" 
  5. (4/21/2017) Caitlyn Jenner finally figures out that Donald Trump is not a friend of the LGBTQ community ๐Ÿ†
  6. (4/23/2017) What do they call "Log Cabin Republicans" in France? Template:Pop
  7. (4/26/2017) Senator Mike Enzi says men who walk into bars wearing tutus "are asking for it" during a visit to Greybull High School and Middle School, Greybull, Wyoming๐Ÿ’ฅ

North Carolina Bathroom BillEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) North Carolina to NCAA: Hey guys, we sorta kinda didn't really repeal HB2, so can we have our basketball tournaments back, pretty please? NCAA: Looks legit Template:Qpq

Deportation based on marijuana chargesEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) "Let me be clear about marijuana. It is a potentially dangerous gateway drug that frequently leads to the use of harder drugs." Oh, jeez, this shiat again? "ICE will continue to use marijuana possession, distribution and convictions as essential elements as they build their deportation removal apprehension packages"๐Ÿš“

Revoke CitizenshipEdit

  1. (4/21/2017) Apparently, Al Qaeda had a hub in Silicon Valley. Well, the guy who ran it just had his citizenship revoked ๐Ÿš“

White Supremist PropagandaEdit

  1. (4/21/2017) White supremacists have taken over Uncle Sam imagery for their nefarious ends ๐Ÿ‘

Child MarriageEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Woman who was married by her mother, at age 14, against her will, to a 24-year old registered sex offender she'd only met the day before her wedding, thinks maybe that shouldn't be legal any more in Texas Template:MarriTrevicia Williams, who now has her doctorate, working with Tahirih Justice Center, state Rep. Thompson (D, TX, 141st) and state Sen. Taylor (R, TX, 8th) to change current law: ยง2.102 ยง2.101, 2.103, have proposed this bill: SB 1705

Repeal Obama-era PolicyEdit

  1. (4/21/2017) I know liberals want to think of Trump as a do-nothing President, but while he hasn't done much to secure his own legacy, he has done plenty to undo President Obama's legacy Template:StiggTemplate:Gopgov

Wildlife protectionsEdit

  1. (4/9/2017) Having solved the rest of the nation's problems, Congress legalizes shooting hibernating bears Template:HuntTemplate:Stigg

Ban on toxic ammunition and fishing tackle on federal landsEdit

  1. (4/10/2017) Trump's administration is going to help kill a lot of bald eagles, no not an euphemism this time Template:Stigg๐ŸบTemplate:HuntTemplate:Stigg

National Monument DesignationsEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) Trump's considering expanding drilling to national monuments. There's supposed to be a real gusher under the Lincoln Memorial Template:StiggTemplate:ParkTemplate:Land
    1. (4/26/2017) Trump to sign EO Wednesday that is basically a gigantic FARK YOU to millions of acres of national land under Federal protection since 1996 Template:Stigg๐Ÿ†

Offshore Drilling BanEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) Trump's considering expanding drilling to national monuments. There's supposed to be a real gusher under the Lincoln Memorial Template:StiggTemplate:ParkTemplate:Land
    1. (4/26/2017) Trump to sign EO Wednesday that is basically a gigantic FARK YOU to millions of acres of national land under Federal protection since 1996 Template:Stigg๐Ÿ†

Repealing ACAEdit

  1. (4/11/2017) Freedom Caucus chair says that a deal 'close' on ObamaCare repeal Template:Stigg
  2. (4/21/2017) Words you don't want to describe your health care plan: "Comically bad" 
    1. (4/21/2017) GOP's health care proposal would raise the cost of pregnancy by $17,000, because why should cancer patients have all the fun? Template:Goppol
  3. (4/24/2017) Trump budget chief: Don't worry about the millions of poors who will lose healthcare after the ACA is repealed, our glorious border wall will protect them. Wait, what? โš Template:Goat
  4. (4/25/2017) Trump slashing Obamacare subsidies would cost taxpayers billions Template:StiggTemplate:Subz

Ending restrictions on rates for prison phone callsEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg

Ending internet privacy & security rulesEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg

LifelineEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg

Net NeutralityEdit

  1. (4/26/2017) R.I.P. Net Neutrality: born February 26, 2015, deceased May 18, 2017 Template:Stigg

Waters of the United States (2015)Edit

defines which bodies of water are under federal authority

  1. (4/21/2017) Missouri Senator Roy Blunt (R-eefer) got baked so hard on 4/20 he a.) spent $25 on one order at Taco Bell; b.) made a bong out of his empty Just for Men tube; or c.) thought Scott Pruitt would "Look for environmental problems and solve them" Pruitt: "The EPA is no longer going to be an agency that tries to engage in power over water decisions at the state level"Template:Fedreg

Dodd-FrankEdit

  • "Review" two provisions of Dodd-Frank (2010)
    • Orderly Liquidation Authority (process of liquidating a large, complex financial company that is close to failing) to determine risk, taxpayer liability, and "moral hazard"
    • Financial Stability Oversight Council (the process of designating banks and financial firms "too big to fail")
  1. (4/4/2017) Trump promises haircuts to Dodd-Frank that he says will be "very good for the banking industry". Because if anyone knows about good haircuts, it's Trump 
  2. (4/21/2017) Not having accomplished anything of note during his first 100 days, Trump decides to tear down what minimal reform Obama achieved via Dodd-Frank, because Fark you, that's why Template:DdfrnkTemplate:Fedreg๐Ÿ“Ž

Tax InversionsEdit

when one company buys or merges with another company located in a country with lower tax rates, then shifts headquarters to that new country

  1. (4/21/2017) Trump poised to roll back a sweeping crackdown on corporate tax avoidance, because how else will corporations legally stash away trillions overseas? 

DACAEdit

Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals or "Dreamers"

  1. (4/18/2017) The dream is over deportation of Dreamer Juan Manuel MontesTemplate:Deport
    1. (4/19/2017) USA Today: Poor, struggling young DREAMer who just wanted to go out on a date with his girlfriend is deported. Reality: 23-year-old apprehended by Border Patrol after illegally entering U.S. by climbing over border fence is deported Juan Manuel Montes Bojorquez renewed his status, DHS checked, found that they erred, still deported him Template:Deport
    2. (4/22/2017) Trump tells Dreamers to relax, he's not after them. Sure, there are stories about Dreamers being deported but that's probably fake news. Why would anyone Hispanic worry about my policies? Template:DeportTemplate:Believe

Keystone XL PipelineEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Nebraskan farmers to make the strongest, most compelling case than we've ever heard against Keystone pipeline by pointing out how it may hurt some white people Template:Keypipe
    1. (4/23/2017) Fox News host interviews Nebraska farmer she's sure will agree with her claims the Keystone XL pipeline will make the U.S. energy independent. That's when he reminded her the oil it transfers isn't from the U.S. Art Tanderup, Nebraska farmerTemplate:Keypipe

TrumpCareEdit

TrumpCare FailureEdit

Zombie TrumpcareEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) Donald Trump: "I don't lose." Track record: "LOLWUT" 
  2. (4/4/2017) Trump wants new health care bill vote next week. All he needs is a new health care bill 
  3. (4/4/2017) Pence may win over Freedom Caucus members by allowing states to get Obamacare waivers Template:Qpq
  4. (4/4/2017) Ryan decides that forging ahead with Trumpcare 2.0: Die Faster and More Broker might not such a great idea, considering he's still sitting on an inflatable donut after the last ass-kicking he took on healthcare Template:Legis
  5. (4/5/2017) Don'tCare 2.0 is DOA since lawmakers are still looking for a cheap butt cream to help with the smarting from last time 
  6. (4/19/2017) Trump wants AHCA vote before the 100 day mark 
    1. (4/20/2017) The GOP's newest "healthcare" plan is out, and it does reflect some major changes - that make it even worse than the first one Template:GoppolRep. Thomas MacArthur (R NJ 3rd) proposed MacArthur Amendment to the American Health Care Act
  7. (4/21/2017) Words you don't want to describe your health care plan: "Comically bad" 
    1. (4/21/2017) GOP's health care proposal would raise the cost of pregnancy by $17,000, because why should cancer patients have all the fun? Template:Goppol
  8. (4/26/2017) Republican lawmakers fight to preserve Obamacare pre-existing condition protections...for themselves. You? Enjoy your complimentary Ziploc coffin the latest attempt to repeal the ACA contains a provision that exempts members of Congress and their staff๐Ÿ‘Œ
  9. (4/26/2017) House GOP swears that an Obamacare repeal deal is "near". Whoa, hey guys, no need to be racist Template:Stigg
    1. (4/27/2017) New House Obamacare repeal bill is already flatlining on the Senate EKG unit Template:GoplegTemplate:Stigg
  10. (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support 

Planned ParenthoodEdit

Ending MedicareEdit

Privacy ProtectionsEdit

Devil's WeedEdit

War on DrugsEdit

  1. (4/9/2017) Jeff Sessions is hoping to resurrect the War on Drugs that did so much good in the 80s and 90s Template:Drugw

Minimum WageEdit

  1. (4/11/2017) The minimum wage prevents people from entering the workforce and gaining the skills that can eventually land them higher-income jobs ๐ŸŸ

Law EnforcementEdit

  1. (4/13/2017) Attorney General Jeff Sessions is worried that not enough Americans are being locked up โ€œIโ€™m saying Iโ€™m getting worried weโ€™re not locking more people up.โ€๐Ÿš“๐Ÿ‘ฎ

Mocking BoycottEdit

  1. (4/13/u2017) Trump picks up his son's phone by mistake, tweets anyhow ๐ŸŒพ

Non-Corporate WelfareEdit

  1. (4/13/2017) Trump says he may freeze subsidies to the poor until Democrats repeal Obamacare. Claims voters will blame the Democrats for the ensuing crisis. DO IT ๐Ÿ†Template:Stiggโš 

Greece BailoutEdit

  1. (4/13/2017) IMF still hasn't joined the Greece bailout. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE Template:Greece

Minority ReligionsEdit

WiccansEdit

  1. (4/11/2017) Liberal witches worldwide are binding Trump with Satanic curses. Look what they've already done to Bannon 
  2. (4/20/2017) The real reason there's so much political corruption in D.C.? Too many witches and gays 

Voter suppressionEdit

  1. (4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah MasonTemplate:Voter๐Ÿ‘™Template:Qpq

Astroturf RallyEdit

  1. (4/15/2017) Another slap fight at the UCal Corral ๐Ÿ’ฅTemplate:Astro

Indigenous AmericansEdit

  1. (4/17/2017) Remember when killing Native Americans wasn't murder? ๐Ÿ’ฅ

Scapegoat MuslimsEdit

  1. (4/17/2017) You are a candidate for NYC mayor, and you owe the state $500k taxes. Do you c) blame Muslims for your predicament? ๐Ÿ‘ŸTemplate:Goat

Education FundingEdit

  1. (4/17/2017) New Mexico governor vetoes all higher education funding, astonishing everyone with news that there are universities in New Mexico 

Apologist for Racist, Sexist Elected OfficialEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Joni Ernst castrates another pig Template:TownhTemplate:Apol

Racist, Sexist Elected OfficialEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Florida Man, Florida Man, talks just like a Republican Template:Joke

CharitiesEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) "Charitably donations? We should cap those," believes Donald Trump ๐Ÿ“Ž

Net NeutralityEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Republicans celebrate the death of Net Neutrality by knifing public libraries in the kidney and pushing them onto the "slow lane" tracks Template:BiblioTemplate:Public
    1. (4/26/2017) R.I.P. Net Neutrality: born February 26, 2015, deceased May 18, 2017 

Hillary Derangement SyndromeEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Liberal's favorite conservative columnist calls Black people lazy and shiftless, unlike those hard working Asians. Oh lawds Andrew Sullivan's article in New York MagazineTemplate:Wfbuck

MisogynyEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) Daily Beast investigates "Red Pill", a subreddit dedicated to MRAs who blame feminism for all of their self-inflicted problems, and discovers that it was created by New Hampshire congressman Robert Fisher 

Kentucky Governor's Medicare "reform" programEdit

  1. (4/24/2017) Matt Bevin (R-ewards Program) wants to combine the worst parts of loyalty cards, healthcare, and the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. Paul Ryan and Donald Trump both seen making notes Bevin's Medicaid reform would cut benefits, charge low-income recipients monthly premiums and co-payments for services while making them jump through hoops to earn health coverage points; failure to pay premiums or "inappropriate" use of emergency rooms would result in loss of "points" or servicesTemplate:WagerTemplate:GoppolTemplate:Goalp๐Ÿ†Template:Stigg

Petty & SpitefulEdit

The EconomyEdit

"Budget"Edit

  1. (4/5/2017) Yertle will be stunned to learn voters don't want a government shutdown 
  2. (4/5/2017) Trump budget slashes EPA emissions and gas mileage testing budget by 99 percent. Time to buy some VW stock 

DeficitEdit

InflationEdit

The DowEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Wall Street bracing for when Trump goes to eleven ๐Ÿ’ฃ
  2. (4/13/2017) Wall Street is not too keen on Trump and his foot in mouth disease 
  3. (4/13/2017) Global economy slumps as Trump proclaims the US dollar is too strong and China is super awesome happy funtime 

TradeEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) "NAFTA could be Trump's next Obamacare." So, another bipartisan humiliating loss? 
  2. (4/6/2017) Trump closes the door, China opens the window 
  3. (4/10/2017) China, perhaps worried that President Trump is crazy enough to tank the global economy to achieve his agenda, will offer the Trump administration better market access for financial sector investments and U.S. beef exports to help avert a trade war 
  4. (4/10/2017) -pation 

NAFTAEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Begun the great cornholio war has 
  2. (4/26/2017) Not content with starting a trade war with Canada, Trump doubles down and appears to be working on an Executive Order to withdraw the US from NAFTA. Of course, since Congress has final say on trade agreements, the EO is really just for show Template:Goptrd
  3. (4/27/2017) Trump: we're pulling out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
    1. (4/27/2017) Trump: we won't pull out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
      1. (4/27/2017) Trump: doesn't know what NAFTA is 

National DebtEdit

  1. (4/25/2017) Trump wants to balloon the national debt, and the Republicans will not only rubber stamp it, they'll blame it on the Democrats...who have no actual power to do or prevent any of this shiat Template:DebtTemplate:StiggTemplate:Gopmp

Job CreatorEdit

Fiddling with RegulationsEdit

"Cost cutting" measuresEdit

InfrastructureEdit

Tax PolicyEdit

Abolish TaxesEdit

Tax CutsEdit

Tax "Reform"Edit

  1. (4/4/2017) Trump says he wants to do tax reform. Trouble is, there's nobody at Treasury to actually do it ๐Ÿ“Ž
  2. (4/15/2017) Mitch McConnell says "hopefully" tax reform will pass this year. After that, Congress can "hopefully" get back to work on the failed border wall, health care, travel ban, beating ISIS, the infrastructure, jobs ๐Ÿ“Ž
  3. (4/18/2017) Oops. The Huffington Post accidentally destroys the 'Tax Fairness' argument ๐ŸŒพ
  4. (4/20/2017) The tax reform deadline just slipped by the GOP Template:Gopgov๐Ÿ“Ž
  5. (4/25/2017) Trump wants to balloon the national debt, and the Republicans will not only rubber stamp it, they'll blame it on the Democrats...who have no actual power to do or prevent any of this shiat Template:DebtTemplate:StiggTemplate:Gopmp

GOP FeudEdit

  1. (4/2/2017) And here are a couple more salvos in the Trump vs. Freedom Caucus civil war 

Not Working With OthersEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) "Trusting Donald Trump is like putting your faith in a human IED." But at least the IED will kill you whereas Trump would have you commit treason 

Cap on Charitably DonationsEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) "Charitably donations? We should cap those," believes Donald Trump ๐Ÿ“Ž

Regulate Internet ContentEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) It is high time for Facebook to take a stand and put an end to this madness that is not being able to predict who is going to live stream bad things on the internet Template:1stTemplate:Goat

FCC Regulation ChangesEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg
  2. (4/26/2017) R.I.P. Net Neutrality: born February 26, 2015, deceased May 18, 2017 

H-1B ChangesEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) For some reason, Silicon Valley decided to make the Right's "paid protester" lie come true Template:H1b

Trade War with CanadaEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Trump targets Canada and its dairy industry. And then he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer Template:Eh

US Tourism IndustryEdit

  1. (4/19/2017) Homeland Security wants to further crater the US tourism industry while making it harder for Americans to travel through Europe ๐Ÿ˜›Template:Ref

Cost of Higher EducationEdit

  1. (4/23/2017) California state university bosses: Look, it's essential that we continue hiring these vital staff to perform indispensable work on things. Vital things, about which it's crucial you not ask pesky questions, you meddling journalists Template:Cut

Florida's Medicaid "reform"Edit

  1. (4/27/2017) Legislature considering bill to add work requirement for Medicaid recipients, because if you're poor, disabled, or elderly, be thankful we're not making you pee in a cup for healthcare within the larger Statewide Medicaid Managed Care Program (HB 7117)Template:Goalp

Embarrassing & StupidEdit

StupidityEdit

  1. (4/2/2017) Well bye Template:Trff
  2. (4/3/2017) Trump: The US is ready to act alone on North Korea if necessary. China: You pull some shiat that results in our eastern border being overrun with millions of starving, frightened, and uneducated refugees and we are gonna have "a problem", monkey-boy ๐Ÿ’ฃ
  3. (4/4/2017) It's almost 100 days since Trump took over as President. Let's take a look at his record so far... oh boy. Bonus: At meeting with Germans, he displayed so little knowledge of anything that they concluded that Ivanka was the more helpful of the two Template:Rev
  4. (4/5/2017) Ivanka Trump: "I don't know the meaning of the word 'complicit.'" Merriam-Webster: "HOLD MY FLAGON OF ALE I GOT THIS" 
  5. (4/5/2017) Some of the bids for Trump's Mexico border wall include plans for a tourist balcony 
  6. (4/5/2017) Trump: "No one knew Syria would be this bad. No one" โš›
  7. (4/6/2017) BREAKING: CNN reports that Trump says "Something should happen" regarding Assad and Syria. Seriously, this was breaking news on CNN 
  8. (4/10/2017) Trump BLM: I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part Template:Bolm
  9. (4/10/2017) Trump finds his niche: fixing problems that no longer exist Template:Wk
  10. (4/11/2017) Trump vexed by Syria's motivation to use chemical weapons. One theory Trump had was that a rogue Iranian agent had done it to sabotage the possibility of a U.S.-Russia-Assad alliance that could isolate Tehran. Wait....WHAT? โš›
  11. (4/12/2017) Trump seems to think "Armadas" are still a thing the Navy has. Also doesn't seem to be aware of what happened to the most famous naval force bearing that designation US Navy Carl Vinson Carrier Strike Group (CSG) being deployed๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ˜บ
  12. (4/21/2017) Mike Pence says he went outside to look at the North Koreans on the other side of the DMZ so they could "see the resolve in my face" Template:Weak
  13. (4/15/2017) Putin's is bigger than Trump's the FAOB (Father of All Bombs), or Aviation Thermobaric Bomb of Increased Power allegedly weighs 15,560 lbs, carries 44 tons of TNT and four times stronger than the US MOABTemplate:Dick
    1. (4/19/2017) Russia claims it can wipe out US Navy with a single electronic bomb. Huh, apparently they've managed to weaponize Skrillex Russian Electronic Warfare (REW) allegedly can detect and neutralize any target from a shipโ€™s system, radar, to a satelliteTemplate:Dick
  14. (4/18/2017) Come for the upcoming incompetence crisis, stay for the writer's break down as of April 7, 2017, only 22 of 553 positions requiring Senate confirmation have been filled
  15. (4/21/2017) This might shock you, but in Trump's White House there is no clear chain of command as no one knows who's really in charge Template:Gopgov
  16. (4/21/2017) Trump lawyers argue that protesting violates Donald Trump's First Amendment right not to hear dissenting views, citing 5 USC ยง 6103 establishing today as Opposite Day Template:Snow๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘‘
  17. (4/24/2017) Trump uses Melania's speechwriter Never Again becomes Oops I did it again Template:ShoahTemplate:Plagia
  18. (4/25/2017) Is the Senate dragging its feet investigating Russia and the election? Template:Drag
  19. (4/25/2017) The media bubble is real and terrifying ๐Ÿ“ฐ๐Ÿ‘
  20. (4/26/2017) Trump's plan for tax reform may kill the idea before it even gets started. *high five* ๐Ÿ“Ž
    1. (4/26/2017) Behold: The Trump Tax Plan in its entirety ๐Ÿ“ŽTemplate:Illit
      1. (4/26/2017) Wall Street makes a collective wanking motion after Trump announces his tax plan, "This was about ticking a box ahead of the first 100 days" ๐Ÿ“Ž
  21. (4/26/2017) Trump again vows to take the court to court US District Judge William Orrick III blocked Trump's executive order withholding federal funds from sanctuary citiesTemplate:Goppol
  22. (4/26/2017) Not content with starting a trade war with Canada, Trump doubles down and appears to be working on an Executive Order to withdraw the US from NAFTA. Of course, since Congress has final say on trade agreements, the EO is really just for show Template:Goptrd
  23. (4/27/2017) Trump: we're pulling out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
    1. (4/27/2017) Trump: we won't pull out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
      1. (4/27/2017) Trump: doesn't know what NAFTA is 

General Decision MakingEdit

  1. (4/14/2017) Wanna change Trump's mind on something? That's easy, just be sure that you're the last person that talks to him Template:Last
  2. (4/14/2017) NPR tries to understand Trump's shifting positions. Well, Trump has no core beliefs other than "how does this help Trump" which means, as previously mentioned numerous times over the last 18 months, who the fark knows what Trump'll do? ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’ฃ
    1. (4/15/2017) Don't say he's a hypocrite, just say he's "flexible" ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’ฃ๐ŸŒ…
  3. (4/27/2017) Trump staffers no longer trust him to make the right decision when presented with a weak option, an extreme one and a middle of the road option, so they will only present him with their preferred option to avoid catastrophe Template:Last

CowardEdit

  1. (4/8/2017) There must be someway outta here said the joker to the thief. there's too much confusion, I can't get no relief โšช
  2. (4/12/2017) Problem: White House gets grilled by traditional press during press briefings. Solution: White House opens press briefings via Skype to Trump-friendly non-reporters. Ta da 
  3. (4/22/2017) Trump to hold rally on night of correspondents dinner because that'll make Trump feel better and then nobody will watch it on TV mainly because it's not broadcast. That'll fix 'em Template:Astro

Meglomania, JingoismEdit

  1. (4/1/2017) That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works ๐Ÿ‘‘
  2. (4/3/2017) Side effects of states legalizing weed may include: Writing articles saying that Donald Trump won due to his attractiveness Jan-Erik Lonnqvist, professor of social psychology, University of Helsinki
  3. (4/3/2017) Trump's donation to the National Park Service will at least keep the parks open for the people who lost their Meals On Wheels to hunt in ๐ŸŒ…
  4. (4/4/2017) "See kids? This is what people a hundred years ago in 2017 were like. You know...morons" 
  5. (4/10/2017) Twenty-one tweets Trump made that he really should regret 
  6. (4/10/2017) Trump's personal helicopter landing at Mar-a-Lago raises questions. Fark: by Fox News 
  7. (4/10/2017) Trump finds his niche: fixing problems that no longer exist Template:Wk
  8. (4/10/2017) Ever wonder why Trump keeps doing the opposite of what he says he'll do? If you voted for him, you probably don't care ๐Ÿ’ฃ
  9. (4/11/2017) White House grapples with how to sell Trump's first 100 days. Yuuuuge branding suggestions to the right 
  10. (4/11/2017) Trump administration STILL has hundreds of unfilled positions because of backbiting, inexperience, and sheer exhaustion from being overworked. But don't worry, these guys will do great in an emergency Template:Micro

Not Being A Good Ally To ...Edit

CanadaEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) In today's edition of "What Country will President Trump Insult and Offend Today" the wheel of countries lands on Canada Template:EhTemplate:Weak๐Ÿ˜›

Re-electionEdit

Honors and AwardsEdit

Nobel Peace PrizeEdit

Crowdsource GovernmentEdit

Crowdsource Reorganization of Executive Branch

  1. (4/13/2017) You, too, can help reorganize the Executive Branch of government. Bonus: not only do you get to select what departments to reform or eliminate, but you can write in your own helpful suggestions; something no doubt Farkers will take seriously Comprehensive Plan for Reorganizing the Executive Branch

The President's Address to CongressEdit

FLOTUS BSEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) White House releases official portrait of the First Lady, by master artist Air Brush (Not safe for work images on page) 
    1. (4/5/2017) Liberals running out of stuff to whine about 
  2. (4/5/2017) Ivanka Trump: "I don't know the meaning of the word 'complicit.'" Merriam-Webster: "HOLD MY FLAGON OF ALE I GOT THIS" 
  3. (4/5/2017) Bannon's demotion only means one thing; the Trump kids are taking over 
  4. (4/6/2017) Donald Trump, whenever he needs to be calmed down or made to feel proud of his accomplishments ๐Ÿผ
  5. (4/6/2017) Even the New York Times has trouble figuring out the relationship between Donald Trump and Ivanka 
  6. (4/17/2017) Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll Martin Family CircusTemplate:EastrTemplate:Trad
  7. (4/16/2017) Melania and Barron are moving to the White House, mostly so Barron can take over when Jared is off skiing Template:White๐ŸŒ…
  8. (4/22/2017) Subby will admit to stopping feeling sorry for Melania at $52M a year to keep her in New York instead of the White House, but, I can see how a piece in Vanity Fair could be sympathetic to a woman past her "checkout time" in Trump years ๐ŸŒ…Template:White
  9. (4/23/2017) They say Melania is frosty with Ivanka. Well, nobody likes romantic competition from an old flame Template:Mans
  10. (4/25/2017) Germany: Why is our leader meeting with the mistress of some NYC flim flam artist? Merkel invited Ivanka to the Women20 summit, an international event that aims to "promote women's economic empowerment"
  11. (4/27/2017) Trump creates a new hotline to report crimes committed by aliens. The internet responds 1-855-48-VOICE (86423)

StaffEdit

Stephanie GrishamEdit

First Ladyโ€™s communications director, former White House spokeswoman

  1. (4/17/2017) Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll Martin Family CircusTemplate:EastrTemplate:Trad

Lindsay ReynoldsEdit

First Ladyโ€™s chief of staff, former associate director of the White House Visitors Office, Bush, Jr.

  1. (4/17/2017) Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll Martin Family CircusTemplate:EastrTemplate:Trad

Child CareEdit

Finding JesusEdit

Thou Shall Have No Other Gods Before MeEdit

  1. (4/18/2017) Words fail me 

The Lord is My ShepherdEdit

Judge Not Lest Ye Be JudgedEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) God will curse Trump's opponents. And then he will curse their children. And in turn curse their grandchildren. And then their children and just the whole f*cking family line for eternity 

If Aย Manย Will Notย Work, He Shall Not EatEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) You know that whole "the Bible says the unemployed shouldn't be allowed to eat" thing? Yeah, about that. Bonus: WaPo edits the hit piece without admitting their errors. Tag is for WaPo ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ“ฐ

Ye Shall Know Them Byย Their FruitsEdit

    1. (4/15/2017) It's nearly Easter, and President Trump has yet to find a DC church to celebrate it in yet. But it's challenging for him to find one with high enough denomination 
  1. (4/19/2017) Trump's "destiny" is to subdue "ungodly" unchristian nations in order to allow for the spreading of Christianity 

Render Unto Caesar That Which Is Caesar'sEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Freedom FROM Religion vs. Freedom OF Religion Template:Trinity Lutheran Church v. ComeTemplate:Ch st
  2. (4/23/2017) How to prevent the inevitable showdown between Church and State an argument for dismissing Trinity Lutheran Church of Columbia v. ComerTemplate:Ch st๐Ÿ‘

Physical Health of the PresidentEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) Oh look, Trump spent another weekend of golfing. That's so unusual for a man who hates it when presidents golf Template:Golf
  2. (4/3/2017) Rand Paul (R-KY) wore a Duke hat while going golfing with Trump. Duke Sucks Template:Golf
  3. (4/4/2017) Does someone want to explain why the hell foreign leaders are meeting the goddamn president at his goddamn private resort in goddamn Florida instead of the goddamn White House? Goddammit Template:Golf
  4. (4/6/2017) Trump does more in two months than two YEARS of Obama Template:Golf
  5. (4/9/2017) What's the difference between Trump & Tiger Woods? Trump played golf this weekend Template:Golf
  6. (4/10/2017) Trump has already spent almost double Obama's annual travel budget. "If Trump keeps up the current pace of trips, he could spend $60 million in taxpayer cash solely to visit Mar-a-Lago this year" 
  7. (4/17/2017) In what is totally not a conflict of interests, Trump is seemingly splitting his time between two jobs: serving as president of the United States and acting as owner/host of Mar-a-Lago 
  8. (4/17/2017) Trump: 14 - Obama: 0 Template:Golf
  9. (4/21/2017) Whiny liberal MSM media still complaining about the "excessive costs" of Trump's weekend getaways. Wait, it's the Washington Examiner? Oh dear Template:WhiteTemplate:Golf
  10. (4/22/2017) A look at the travel cost of Trump's 100 days ... 25 of which were spent in Mar-a-Lago Template:White
  11. (4/24/2017) Why is Ivanka needing to hold Donnie's hand when he calls the space station? Dementia or afraid he is going to sexually harass a lady astronaut? Template:Weak
  12. (4/23/2017) Trump 3 months ago: Oh, the first 100 days I'll get so much done you just won't believe it. There'll be so much winning. Trump now: The first 100 days? Really kind of meaningless when you think about it Template:Aspd
    1. (4/24/2017) Your Presidential quote of the day: "I gave Face the Nation highest ratings since the World Trade Center came down" ๐Ÿ“ฐ
    2. (4/24/2017) AP releases transcript of their latest Trump interview. Come for the early onset Alzheimer's, stay for the early onset Alzheimer's. While we're on the topic, did you hear the AP released the transcript of their latest Trump interview? ๐Ÿ’ฃ
    3. (4/26/2017) God help us all if this is an exercise to prepare Trump for the real thing 
    4. (4/26/2017) Colbert gives us a rundown of Trump's first hundred days Template:Dstc

IlliterateEdit

Banned booksEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Necronomicon smuggled out of North Korea "The Accusation; Forbidden Stories from Inside North Korea" written by "Bandi", the Korean word for fireflyTemplate:Book

Net neutralityEdit

  1. (4/7/2017) And while everyone is paying attention to Syria, the head of the FCC is busily working to fast-track an end to Net Neutrality 
  2. (4/12/2017) Second rate Bond villain, FCC chairman Ajit Pai's plan to kill net neutrality will also completely destroy internet privacy. Are you tired of #winning yet? 
  3. (4/26/2017) R.I.P. Net Neutrality: born February 26, 2015, deceased May 18, 2017 

UK State VisitEdit

  1. (4/15/2017) Trump demands that he get the use of Queen Elizabeth's golden carriage. There's a joke in there somewhere ๐Ÿ‘‘

2020 ElectionEdit

  1. (4/17/2017) With only roughly 1000 days until the Iowa Caucases, it's high time we get a look at possible nominees for the Democratic presidential candidate 2020 edition. OK dammit, I'm sick, I need help. I see that now Template:2020e๐ŸŒพ

ConspiraciesEdit

  1. (4/5/2017) Sandy Hook school board asks Donald Trump to denounce truthers that claim the attack never happened, or was a false flag operation, particularly his long time ally, Alex Jones. Trump: crickets ๐Ÿ™ˆ
  2. (4/5/2017) Donald Trump says Susan Rice might have broken the law. Wow. This must be true because Trump never lies, right? .... Why are you guys laughing at me? Did I say something funny? Template:Oc4.1
  3. (4/6/2017) Jeffrey Lord tries to invent new conspiracy theory over Susan Rice, forcing Anderson Cooper to hold back gales of laughter even as the alien whose forehead grew like a mighty oak kept pressing on with his insanity Template:Oc4.1
  4. (4/6/2017) Ron Paul: 'Zero chance' Assad is behind the 'false flag' chemical attack in Syria. Now buy some overpriced gold from me โš›Template:Kskhn
  5. (4/3/2017) This is the face of evil. Or maybe it's the face of stupid. Either way, it's the face of someone who skipped court after sending death threats to the parent of a Sandy Hook victim ๐Ÿ’ฅ
  6. (4/11/2017) Now would be a great time to verify if those two North Korean 'weather satellites' hanging over the continental United States aren't EMPs. Just sayin' 
  7. (4/11/2017) It's only a matter of time before we get a "Why is USA planting fake weapons in Syria thanks to Dems and corrupt Fake Media WE MUST STOP THEM" tweet โš›
  8. (4/11/2017) Liberal witches worldwide are binding Trump with Satanic curses. Look what they've already done to Bannon 
  9. (4/12/2017) The more they look at Trump, the more they see an independent patriot Template:Oc2.2๐Ÿช

Alex Jones Custody HearingEdit

  1. (4/17/2017) Hate buffet of conspiracy theories Alex Jones is just "playing a character," claims his attorney, who tried to defend his client's bigotry in a custody hearing over his three children attorney, Randall WilhiteTemplate:Act
  2. (4/19/2017) Wait...Alex Jones is an actor? Actually, he's not the only one. See how much the rest of the right-wing blowhards believe their own shtick, according to fill-in right wing blowhard 
  3. (4/20/2017) Doctor claims hate buffet Alex Jones is not an asshole; he just has narcissistic personality disorder Template:Apol
  4. (4/18/2017) Ever seen a picture of Alex Jones? He often strips naked to show an example of super male virility 
  5. (4/19/2017) Alex Jones' ex-wife's lawyer says Jones forgot about his kids because he 'had a big bowl of chili for lunch.' To be fair, recharging is an important task when your whole job consists of blowing hot air out of your ass 
  6. (4/20/2017) One of Trump's most trusted sources now says that his weed is too strong and it's George Soros' fault 
  7. (4/21/2017) You mean like how you asked for your listeners to be respectful and understanding of the Sandy Hook victims? ๐Ÿ‘Template:SnowTemplate:Hypo
  8. (4/24/2017) It's the gift that keeps on giving nightmare fuel: in divorce proceedings, Alex Jones claims that by the age of 16 "I'd already had over 150 women" Template:Trainw
  9. (4/27/2017) Hate buffet and unhinged conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is convinced George Soros took control of 183 new entities this year and his InfoWars viewers believe it. No word if Jones thinks his wife and kids are under Soros's control Template:Crack

Trump Tower TappEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) Alternative fact believer Donald Trump says his wiretap allegations are coming true 

"Terror"Edit

Unsupported Voter Fraud AccusationsEdit

  1. (4/2/2017) Republicans confused as to why they can't find the big voter fraud conspiracy 

We Get It He's BlackEdit

  1. (4/4/2017) Rice used the intelligence community as her own private political spy agency Template:Oc1.2
    1. (4/12/2017) Both Democrats and Republicans agree: Devin Nunes is full of so much crap, they actually can get along long enough to say so Template:BipTemplate:Oc4.1
  2. (4/4/2017) Trump keeps making stuff up hoping Americans won't notice that that he's a traitor working for the Russians, a Manchurian Candidate, if you will. I guess now he's the Manchurian Elected Puppet Template:Oc1.3

B-b-but, her emails!Edit

ScandalsEdit

Alabama's Luv GovEdit

  1. (4/7/2017) Disgraced Alabama governor Robert Bentley, who was all about family values, begs prosecutors not to release more lurid details of his sexual trysts ๐Ÿ‘™
    1. (4/9/2017) Impeachment proceedings to begin very soon 
    2. (4/10/2017) Alabama Governor resigns to spend more time with his mistress ๐Ÿ‘™
    3. (4/11/2017) And here are the text messages disgraced Alabama Governor Robert Bentley (R-omantic) sent his staffer/mistress ๐Ÿ‘™
    4. (4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah Caldwell MasonTemplate:Voter๐Ÿ‘™Template:Qpq
    5. (4/12/2017) "Being sound on the fundamentals depends on what the evangelical community has decided the fundamentals have become. At this time, what is fundamental is hating liberals, hating Obama, hating abortion and hating same-sex marriage" Template:StiggTemplate:Ch st
    6. (4/12/2017) Hell hath no fury like a scorned politician's wife, right Robert Bentley? ๐Ÿ‘™
  2. (4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah MasonTemplate:Voter๐Ÿ‘™Template:Qpq
  3. (4/16/2017) Here's how a political neophyte with a penchant for casual lying, infidelity, projection, paranoia, and a general disconnect from reality finally was removed from office. No, not that one ๐Ÿ‘™Template:Fall

former state Rep. Cindy Gamrat (R, MI, 80th)Edit

  1. (4/11/2017) So much for personal responsibility: expelled Michigan tea party representative sues state government, ex-husband for fallout over her affair with fellow tea partier cheated on husband with former Rep. Todd Courser (R, MI, 82nd)๐Ÿ‘™

Fallout from Bill O'Reilly Sex ScandalEdit

  1. (4/3/2017) There are signs that Fox may have a contingency plan to throw Bill-O under the bus ๐Ÿ‘™
  2. (4/5/2017) As Bill O'Reilly begins to rack up Cosby-like numbers, now is of course the perfect time for the Grabber-In-Chief to stand by his fellow "good person" ๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ“ขTemplate:Loya
  3. (4/5/2017) 31 ... 32 ... 33. 33 advertisers have now pulled advertising from The O'Reilly Factor. Ah ah ah ah Template:Boyc๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ“ข
    1. (4/7/2017) O'Reilly's Thursday show played the same 7 commercials on repeat. For anyone under 25, a commercial was like those things that play before a YouTube video, except longer and unskippable Template:ShowTemplate:Boyc
  4. (4/6/2017) Trump spits in the faces of conservative women. No word if this is before or after he grabs them by the pussy ๐Ÿ“ข
  5. (4/4/2017) Nothing says you're a feminist like defending Roger Ailes in his latest harassment suit ๐Ÿ‘™
  6. (4/8/2017) The shrinking of Bill O'Reilly ๐Ÿ“ขTemplate:Consq
  7. (4/9/2017) There is a dark side to all those advertisers leaving The O'Reilly Factor ๐Ÿ“ข
  8. (4/10/2017) After the latest round of sexual harassment allegations, Bill O'Reilly's ratings have soared. Can't explain that ๐Ÿ“ข๐Ÿ‘™
  9. (4/12/2017) Bill O'Reilly announces he's taking a pre-planned vacation ๐Ÿ“ข๐Ÿ‘™Template:Timfam
  10. (4/13/2017) "Bill O'Reilly. Good Catholic?" A discussion of hypocrisy as it is practiced on America's favorite network for alternative news ๐Ÿ“ขTemplate:Relig
  11. (4/19/2017) O'Reillexit Template:Retire๐Ÿ“ข
  12. (4/19/2017) Bill O'Reilly has left Fox News to spend more time with your wife ๐Ÿ“ขTemplate:Retire
  13. (4/20/2017) Fox News staffers worry that O'Reilly's departure is just the beginning, unintentionally admitting that there are other sexual predators at Fox News ๐Ÿ‘™Template:Boys
  14. (4/21/2017) Revisiting Bill O'Reilly's novel about a newsman's revenge murder spree after losing a high-profile TV job ๐Ÿ“ข

Brian McDowellEdit

former "The Apprentice" contestant, GOP candidate New Jersey General Assembly, district 1

  1. (4/14/2017) GOP pulls support for candidate after video surfaces of him propositioning a woman, telling her she should fark him. He insists he won't withdraw over a mistake, after all, even Jesus dropped the cross 3 times ๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‘Ÿ

Sex on the BeachEdit

  1. (4/20/2017) Couple accused of having sex on the beach in front of Trump's Mar-A-Lago resort Coast Guard spotted found Chloe Exiner, 20 of Illinois on top of Daniel Dolan, 19, of Pennsylvania behind a tree on Bingham Island, Palm Beach "bouncing up and down in a lewd and sexual manner"๐Ÿ‘™

Lumpy McGropersonEdit

  1. (4/24/2017) Is Lumpy next in line to take his lumps? Fox guest says anchor tried to pressure her into hotel room sex ๐Ÿ‘™




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